I have 2 children ages 8 and 3 and they have my maiden name. My b/f and I were talking about changing my last name after we get married. He is not thrilled with the idea of me hyphenating my name. What are your opinions on the matter?
2007-01-17 01:04:57 · 11 answers · asked by lady_missunderstood2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call me old fashioned but when my boyfriend and I get married I can't wait to take his name I just think it's a symbol of unity. Of course my two oldest children have their father's name (my married name) and my youngest has my boyfriend's name so we will never all have the same name anyway. The name thing means a lot more to us adults than it does to the kids.
2007-01-17 01:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Our opinions on this issue is not as important as the two of yours. Each couple must decide what is best for them. I personally am a modern traditionalist (if that makes sense), so I chose to move my maiden name to have a second middle name and changed my last name to his. You should talk with your fiance about your reasons for wanting to hyphenate your last name, but also ask him what his concerns are against you doing so. Maybe his feelings are hurt and is thinking that he may want to adopt your children after you are married and have their legal name changed to his as well. You'll never know what his concerns are until you ask him. The bottom line is that this is something the two of you need to discuss. What other people choose to do regarding name changes is irrelevant.
2007-01-17 09:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he plans on adopting your kids and giving them his name then yes, change your name to his when you get married. If no adoption, then keep your maiden name. Your kids are going to need to identify with you even more after this huge change in their lives. If you guys don't want to hyphenate, then do what I did. Make your maiden name your middle name. For example, your name could change from "Amy Marie Joseph" to "Amy Joseph Moore", getting rid of the "Marie" all together and taking your boyfriends last name, "Moore" . When I sign my name, I use all three but no hyphen. It's wonderful because it shows the bond I have with my husband and the new family we share but I'm still connected to my birth family.
2007-01-17 09:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by justtogetbi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hyphenating is the good way to go - IMO. I would want my kids to have the same last name as me in that respect. I dont know the relationship b/t the kids and their real father - but if hes not in the picture, what about having the kids adopted by the new hubby and then they can have the same last name - then you wouldnt have to hypenate.
2007-01-17 09:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by *Daisey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When all is said and done a name is not that important. A hyphenated name may make it easier for your kids in school and he should understand or is he willing to adopt your children (if that's an option).
2007-01-17 09:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by Brian G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hyphenate or take your last name as a middle name. Either way keep to your last name. It is archaic for guys to expect women to change their names.
My wife and I were both going to hyphenate, but after talk we decided that she would jeep her last name as a middle name because I have a son from a different marriage and she didn't want me and him having different last names.
2007-01-17 09:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that your boyfriend is worrying about the future. No offense, what if something happened to you guys and you have to change it back to your maiden name. So hes right, its the best to keep your maiden name. ALSO, You don't need his last name in your last name. What if his last name is longer and your too, it will be worst for your kids to write the longest last name. Its the best to keep short and worryless for your kids.
2007-01-17 09:09:44 · answer #7 · answered by MissGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep your own name and then just lay on your back for me at night. Then when its over in 3 to 5 years beacuse you are bored... You won't have to change anything. Best you just keep your own last name.
2007-01-17 09:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by dannywahlberg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we had our first son out of wedlock and made the decision to use conan name.it work for us because we married 3 years later ,and had another son, think about it but dont be hasty . good for some .very baD FOR others
2007-01-17 09:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by conan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do whatever you want but it is always harder on the kids if they don't share your last name....my advice would be to hypenate.....good luck
2007-01-17 09:11:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋