I have been divorced from my 2 kids father for 3 years now. My daughter seems fine through the whole thing but my 8 year old son isn't so fine. He has had a hard time with the whole thing from the begining but things are getting worse and worse because his father now only sees them once a year and never calls. My son has to call him if he wants to speak to his father. My ex-husband and I live about 5 1/2 hours apart and when he does want to see the kids I always meet him half way. My ex-husband has remarried and his wife has 2 kids from a previous marriage that have no relationship with their father so my ex-husband has stepped in and decided to adopt her kids. I have no problem with this except he isn't even being a good dad to his own kids so to adopt hers kinda pisses me off. My ex-husband also asked me to lower child support so he can take care if his family (meaning his wife and her 2 kids.) I have attempted to talk to my ex-husband about our son but he is such a jerk to talk to.
2007-01-17 01:01:12 · 9 answers · asked by Lucinda M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're right...he IS a jerk! His first responsibility is to HIS kids, not her kids. If it were me, I would NOT reduce his child support. In fact, I would be inclined to take him to court to force him to see his children more, if anything. Make sure you allow your son to be around males that are a positive influence in his life, like your Dad, brothers, uncles, etc. Not all men are jerks like his Dad! You sound like a very good Mother!
2007-01-17 01:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can lead a Horse to the water, but you can't make him drink it. That is what I see here in your letter.
You show him your son (his) son and what do get??
The father has more problems than he can imagine right now based on what you've written. If it was me, no mater what you and I had that made us split up, my Son will always be number one to me and if your Son's father your ex husband doesn't want relations with his Son then there is problems in the air that wont' cease.
As long as he pays supoort for his Son to you there is nothing more you can do at this point.
He will see him when he wants too! He feels that if he does pay child supoort, thats a slap in his butt already, but that should be a happy slap for him unless he felt that you were using the money for other things other than his Son and if he gets that impression then he says "he's your baggage, I pay every month you worry about it", by law if he pays child support, there is nothing else you can make him do...do you understand that?
You can lead a Horse to the water, but you can't make him drink it. Case Closed!!
2007-01-17 01:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children must come first. You and your ex need to discuss how this is affecting him.Don't get into the big discussion about the child support and him adopting her children. That can come later. Just try to resolve some issues for your son. He needs both parents. Do what you can, maybe even involve the new wife in the conversation. She could help too, if she will. Remember, its for your son. Good Luck.
2007-01-17 01:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with my daughter, my ex would do all in her power to prevent visits. When i managed to meet with my daughter the ex insisted being present and would want to argue about stuff from years past.
When i would call my daughter the ex was on the other line, butting in constantly.
Finally I gave my daughter a cell phone, and also a toll-free number i installed to my house. She now calls me when she is alone without her mother present.
Best thing i can suggest is maybe let your son email his dad or talk to him on the phone more often.
2007-01-17 01:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your EX obviously is in need of a reality check. He needs to realize that the family he is responsible for extends outside of his own household. I think requesting lowered child support payments is a bit harsh. Especially when it comes to his own flesh and blood. Have you considered counselling for your child? Sometimes a counsellor might make a call or make recommendations to your EX.
2007-01-17 01:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by radarjet67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in child support, your child will always come first....go for the maximum and try to get some help for your son...counseling may be the way to go....your ex is a jerk and he will not ever be a good and attentive dad...you will need to do all you can to make up for it...good luck
2007-01-17 01:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
submit to in ideas at 8 years previous you're feeding his mind's eye. inspite of the reality that a pair of binoculars could serve him better the mere possesion of a recognisable piece of severe star watching kit will do wonders for his mind's eye. Toys r Us have an excellent selection telescopes to healthful, the EDU Astrolon Telescope is large starter telescope for youthful astronomers and expenses around £50. for my area i would not advise a Newtonian for him, it is purely too professional and he would not be waiting to apply it for fowl staring at and so on.
2016-10-31 08:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by stever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send your 8 year old to go live with his father
2007-01-17 01:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be there for your son. He will go through some rough patches but one day he will see his mother would never abandon him
2007-01-17 01:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋