I work with my controlling mother. Two years ago she said that I would take over the business one day, and two years later she is still standing over me, controlling every single thing I do in it. I can't even be left alone with a customer because she thinks i'll stuff something up! I am 7.5 mths pregnant and atleast once a week she makes me feel insecure about my body, saying I should wear baggier clothing etc. I can see that i'm never going to take over this business, she has been controlling and belittling my whole life, does not accept my husband and generally seems to have a sneaky way of making me do anything she wants all of the time. I've tried the letter approach in the past and didn't speak to her for two years, I am crazy to now be working with her!
What can I do? She is the moody boss from Hell, but when bubs is born i'll be able to take her to work with me which is convenient, but do I want her to be brought up with so much of Mum's influence? HELP!How to get out of this
2007-01-17 00:37:02 · 15 answers · asked by caseytopia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"I am crazy now to be working for her." There it is, in a nutshell. In my own life, I have found that if I am reaping a negative consequence for irrational behavior, it helps a great deal to stop doing it. "Hm, I wonder why I'm holding my hand on this hot stove? I must be crazy, but I suppose I'll get used to the smell of burning skin pretty soon." You are living your life in accordance with how you think things *ought* to be, not how they truly are. Acknowledge reality, please! Your mother is who she is and she's not going to change. Behave as though you understand that.
2007-01-17 00:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There has to be a reason for you to be putting up with her, because if there wasn't you would move on with your life. You have a husband & a child on the way. If you feel that your mother is to controling & overbearing, then you should quit working for her and be with your new family. You are a woman now with responcibilities of your own to handle. You do not need to be feeling stressed out and belittled by your mother. If you stay around and let your mother keep doing this to you then the only person that you can truly blame is yourself. You have a mind of your own and you should also know what is best for you and your family. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
God Bless!
2007-01-17 00:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think that this is an impossible point of view, but IMO you really need to make a complete break from her, the business and everything. This could go on for the next 30 or 40 years unless you act now.
Nowhere is it written that we must love our parents unconditionally when they don't deserve it. We didn't choose them, after all, and they simply may not be very nice people.
Be brave and do it. Don't let her do this to you and ruin your life. And no....you do not want your own daughter brought up with her around. Your mother will do the same to your daughter.
Best of luck. Don't look back.
2007-01-17 00:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off,i would let her know how i feel.then i would let her know how she has been making you feel by belittling you.thats not good at all that is basically verbal abuse.if she told you that she would let you run the business and is still controlling your every move then move aside and let her do her own job.i know you are expecting a little one very soon and stress is something you dont need at all.once the baby is born and you get your rest.i would make plans to find another job you enjoy to do .i know you probably love your mother very much but sometimes in this life time it's best to not work with family.you probably dont only see her at work but at home to.and about your husband your mother is not married to him you are ,and she does'nt have to like him as long as your happy thats all that matters. and as far as you wearing baggy clothing,you were what makes you comfrontable prenant women have that special glow wether they choose to were minnie skirts or maternity clothes be yourself and live your life the way thats best you can for yourself and your husband and children .your married life doesnt revolve around your controlling mother.GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR UNBORN CHILD.
2007-01-17 01:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you've a dad that you'll communicate over with? Your instructor became way uncontrolled. i'm sorry you had to adventure that. believe me it takes position each of the time. And that is uncalled for. Do you've any relations contributors that you'll call which could also help you confront your mom? An uncle, aunt, grandfather, church counceler, a coach? I advise you get yet another individual to come back sit down with you even as you confront your mom with honest emotions that you're loosing believe and faith in her, and also you sense alienated from her, and if it maintains like that you may sense like operating away. tell her that you sense like slightly of crap that she might want to take the fringe of instructors somewhat of her own son, and enable her keep in mind that she has no idea of the flexibility hungry journeys those instructors can play on threat free pupils. that you want her believe and help. And that you're ageing and want her to be more effective versatile. With a mom like yours, you want to make confident you've yet another individual there, and plan the time once you recognize she's no longer going everywhere. try to be solid, and take a stand, and "confront" her. Be calm and on right of factors the total time. She ought to maintain in mind that you're older now, and want a more effective versatile surroundings. good success.
2016-10-15 08:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it sometime until you have your maternity leave. Maybe your hormones are not balance due to the pregnancy. Stay home as long as you can. Having your baby around your mood will change and you will see things differently. If nothing is changed by then you need to talk to your mum and find a solution.
2007-01-17 00:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by maran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother sounds just like my partner. Maybe you need to work somewhere else because it looks obvious she isn't handing the business over to you. Then again, you're having a baby so maybe take a year off. Otherwise, she'll drive you nutso!
2007-01-17 00:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As convenient as it would be to be able to take your child to work, it really isnt worth having to deal with your mothes abuse. And yes, it is abuse.
You need to find something else to do. If she ever comes back and wants you to take over the business, then thats one thing. But dont go back until she is actually RETIRED.
2007-01-17 00:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as your working for your mom, she will be able to control you. You may want to accept the situation for now, so that you can be with your baby. When you're ready, look for a job somewhere else so that you can grow.
2007-01-17 00:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow your in hell she loves you and trust you. she wants you to grow up her way. after the baby she will be with the baby all day and she will not be standing over you. so let the kid get it. when the kid has had it with her he or she may gag her and tie her in the basement. then you all will be out of hell. just kidding.know one will be good for her little girl that's you. and she loves you. good day to you. by the way tell your mother that you and your husband love her a lot. she needs it thanks.tell her today Don't forget my 10 points
2007-01-17 00:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋