During the heat of an argument the other day my husband called me a?

Question

Called me a "witch". We've never called each other names before, no matter how bad the argument.

He now claims that he meant that to be funny.....yeah, right. He INSISTS that it was meant in humor, though he admits he was VERY mad in that moment.

I say that he was calling me a 'b' in a "nice" way. Either way, what now?

Should I leave over this? BTW, the argument was about talking about serious issues, which he doesn't want to/like to do. Stuff like where our relationship is going and where our financial situation is.

All we otherwise talk about is surface stuff.

If he secretly resents me, then why does he stay?

Answer 1

Don't say any more for now, but store it for years and years, simmering, and waiting. Until one day in 20 years time, when you are arguing about something unrelated, say '..and once you called me a ...'.
And then burst into tears.

Which is what any other woman would do.

Answer 2

People say things when they are angry and usually end up regretting every word of what they say during a heated argument.

Women are much more in tune to talking about the deep issues in a relationship, where men aren't suited for this type of conversation.

My wife and i have had some pretty tense arguments over 8 years. But, we both love each other.

I don't think your husband resents you, he just doesn't communicate his feelings very well and this is common among men.

If you both have an email account maybe you could email each other with questions and answers so as to avoid a heated argument. Be kind if you try this. Otherwise you'll have to find a way to sit down and chat about things.

Answer 3

I think he is being selfish and immature. And you are allowing him to walk all over you. I understand that some people need some space after an argument so they can cool off and start thinking straight again. But leaving the house for days is excessive, especially since you have children. And it's not fair that he gets to have his cooling off time while you still have to maintain the household routine. If your children are old enough to see what is going on, they are old enough to learn from him and they will start to think it's OK to run away from your problems like their dad does. I would tell his family politely when they call that yes there was an argument and you would prefer to keep your arguments between you and their son. Also I would leave a bag of clothes for him by the door, in the backyard with a note telling him how you feel and what you would like to see different the next time you two argue. Remember, everyone is allowed to be angry. It is a normal feeling. It's what you do with your anger is what counts. He is taking his anger out on you by running away and leaving you to take care of the kids. Leaving for a few hours is OK. Days is not.

Answer 4

Patience and forgiveness are the two great virtues that keep a marriage going. Respect for spouse cannot be undermined, but pardon should be granted for apology made for being disrespectful.

Marriage is a serious issue and keeping it intact is an even more serious subject. Depth in relationships builds over the passage of time and with sincere efforts of both the partners involved.

Serious discussions should not be stuffed on your partner forcefully. Develop a process.. begin with soft topics that interest you both, then gradually proceed on to the serious ones. But let not your marriage hinge on those matters really -- let love and understanding take the center stage instead..... good luck !!!

Answer 5

because he is too lazy to change anything. think only - now he will have to find a place to move, take all his belongings, what about lonely evenings? so honey, if u re not fine with something in your man and he is resenting u, and especially when u re trying to talk about FINANCES this is a signal that things re not so well. do not waste your time. whether he calls u witch or b'itch or whatever u keep bringing the issue untill he tells u the truth abouut wll those things u want to know. good luck. remember - a man can find a woman even when he is 60, which is 10 times harder for a woman to find a man at the same age. so do not waste your time

Answer 6

first let me say a good verbal fight can be healthy for a marriage. It sometimes brings out important issues that later can be discussed rationally. As for the name calling, my wife and I have a couple of names we tend to call each other in the heat of the moment. I tend to call her a b@#$h and she usually call me an a@$ hole. This doesn't mean a thing. Just a way to blow off steam once in a while. With being married and having three kids, we all need a good cleansing once in a while. We've been married for 23 years and there is No end in sight.

Answer 7

Dont you think that if your married that stuff is kind of important to talk about? Bad luck if he doesn't want to, it concerns the both of you. And anyway, in an argument, witch or ***** aren't really that bad, I can think of alot worse, and have been called alot worse. I dont think you should leave him over the name calling, but the relationship and financial issues need to be looked at.

Answer 8

All married couples have arguments, and some call each other names. How to his parents argue, do they call each other names? The where role models for him.
Keep the lines of communication open and tell him how deeply he has hurt you.
I don't think this is worth leaving him over. If he degrades you constantly or gets physically abusive then for self preservation you may want to leave him.
He sounds like a guy who won't go for counseling even if you asked him to. From the little you told us it probably isn't necessary

Answer 9

when we are mad, and esp in the heat of an arguement, we all say things that we don't mean and would never ever say otherwise, and we all regret that burst of anger later too... that's just how it works.. plsss dont leave a relationship just b/c your spouse called you a 'witch!' give him the benefit of the doub for this one... if there are other problems btwn you two, then do whatever you have to do, but breaking up b/c of this is very silly and you will regret it if you do it

Answer 10

Your asking if you should leave him over an argument?? Good Lord why did you get married if your willing to give up that easy??? You should have stopped the argument right there and discuss the name calling. I don't care if he was mad or not name calling is a no no

Answer 11

Big resentment. He's in denial big time. Get help or get out as your relationship will not continue in a nice way if this stuff festers any longer. You must be resentful yourself if he is always steering away from issues that are very important to you. Good luck.