Moving in with g/f = Huge Mistake HELP!?

Question

I just moved out with my g/f of one year and it's turned out to be a pretty big mistake. We do not get along whatsoever in a living together situation and It's obviously not going to work out. She also has two children from a previous relationship which were fun when her parents were watching them most of the time but it's a nightmare now b/c they are being dumped on me. She works days and I work late nights so I get off work early in the morning when shes heading off to work and I have to watch the kids all day till shes gets off work. Shes gets off just a few hours before I have to go back in and she just puts the kids to bed and thats it for her. So who is the one with kids here?! I moved out from my parents house and I dount they will let me come back. We have a good relationship but they want me out on my own and will make me figure it out on my own. I really need to get out of this situation but I'm not sure what to do. Any ideas would be great. Thanks.

Answer 1

Sit her down and while telling her your frustrations (the truth how you feel watching HER kids during the day when you should be RESTING) give her choices: She finds daycare so you can rest or it wont be long before you have to make some decisions WITHOUT her. Let HER figure it out.

Answer 2

Sounds like once she got the cow she knew she wouldn't have to pay for the milk anymore. Saddestpart- thekids are going to loose the "primary" in theirlife. Did you not know you were going to be the babysitter?? did you not know before hand that your schedule were going to be as such??Is it a matter that you just dont see each other enough tom aintain how things used to be?? I have the same schedule in my house but i've been married 14 years and we've adjusted, because thel ove and desire tom ake it work is there. I wonder if you all just got wrapped up in the "idea of being inlove' before actaully thinking it through. Maybe yuo ought get the grandparents to keep thekiddies overnight and have a real sit sown with her and see where things are and going?? It would be better to end it now b/f a marriage took place if the "love" is gone, b/c divorce would be worse- but you need to see where the relationship stands. As you said not knowing if your parents would let you back home thats a true possibility. My kids have been told they can leve home for education. military etc. But if they move out to move in with a girl- there's no coming back. If a marriage failed thats another thing- but to shack up and then come home when the milks dries up sorry no can do- it's called maturiy and being accountable for actions. good luck

Answer 3

this is a difficult one . when you chose to leave home , presumably you knew what you were up against ( you would have known of the two children you were taking on as a responsibility as well as keeping house with your girlfriend ) .
indeed this relationship will not work if you are not commit ed ( which i feel your girlfriend would be relying on ) and lets not dwell on the parents ' thing ' like babysitting --- you need to stand on your own two feet --- and that's the message from your folks --- and I'd not mind betting ; from her side to .
it is terribly difficult to have a relationship when you are both working odd hours and don't see much of one another ; but you have to create some down - time to be with one another otherwise this relationship is indeed doomed but you both need to sit down somehow ; some-when and sort out the issues that are tearing you both apart --- there is no one way street here ; but if you took this relationship knowing that she had two kids but didn't want the responsibility --- then your kidding yourself --- and unfortunately -- your girlfriend .
she simply had faith in your sincerity at the time --- now she may be having doubts .
i hope you weren't doing these deeds ( move in -- take on a ready made family , etc ) with false bravado --- or worse still --feeling sorry for her ??!
you've got a bit of work to do mate . good luck .

Answer 4

admitting you are not ready for this responsibility isnt such a bad thing,,you didnt know just what you were signing up for as you have little if indeed any experience of living this type of stressful family life,,it will be better all round,,kids included if you tell her exactly how you feel,if not you run the risk of the children thinking it is about them,,and they will get upset and they will feel your tension which would not be fair as you know all this is down to your view on the relationship.taking on children is risky business for someone who has none themselves and as you have said,,it was fine while the responsibility was not on you but now it is,,this is how many families live,,both parents working struggling with how the world turns but these are not your children and as you are not enjoying the job it will be simpler if you come out and say it,,,it would seem you really rushed into this without actually knowing what it was going to be like,live and learn,,,,maybe in a few years you will feel more able to cope with this kind of thing but being honest about your emotional responsibility can only help you in the long run.things will change within your relationship as you are probably aware but you will just have to gage how much after you and she have talked this problem over.

Answer 5

well 1st off---the kids need to be in daycare on not left with you. These kids are not your responsibility and if you didn't have the ground rules set in stone before you moved in with this female shame on you!

Communicate to the GF that you will no longer be the FREE sitter---You are suffering from the lack of sleep and you have to work too!! Tell her you care about her but the children have got to be put into daycare due to the fact it's making you suffer at your JOB.

If the daycare isn't accomplished within the next 10 days---you'll have to give the GF and ultimatum---that you'll be moving out by giving her a 30 day notice! (hopefully you weren't foolish enough to sign a lease with this GF)-----

Your parents shouldn't let you move back in---You've made your bed so sleep in it and figure out what you need to do to make your situation better-----Communicating to the GF should be your main priority and have your GF figure out what to do with HER children----Remember----you did this to yourself---No one can be taken advantage of unless you let it happen!

Answer 6

Knowing she had kids you guys should have sat down and talked about the changes that would obvisoly happen if you guys lived together. By you moving in together it has automaticaly made you partly responsible for the kids as well, you have become defacto.
If your not happy then you need to tell her because this not only affects her but her kids as well,
just tell her that your not ready for a live in relationship , be honest.

Answer 7

U got into this situation, now u should also get yourself out of it. Marriage is not always convenient, sometimes it is sacrifice. U have to put in your contribution to help with the children at home. If life becomes very miserable look out for another gf with no kids.

Answer 8

Well, you never know that your parents will let you come back until you ask talk to them they may be a tad more understanding then you think. and if not take out an ad or talk to a buddy about getting a place together for awhile. but before you do all this talk to her, she may not realize how you feel, or that she is taking advantage maybe figure out some kind of compromise.

Answer 9

I don't have any kids but I can imagine the nightmare of living with someones else child. It just not for me.
On your case, I would try to find someone whom needs a roommate and share a place with someone. There are many ads on newspaper where people are offering a room or looking for a roommate.

Answer 10

just tell her that you are not happy with the living arrangements and need to find your own place cause you are just not happy . Tell her you are sorry if this hurts her but it cannot be helped after all . Also tell her that you feel like you are being free childcare for her . And you dont appreciate it . If she is any kind of person she will understand it . good luck to you.