I am 19, my boyfriend is 21. I just found out that I am pregnant. I am on birthcontrol, but for some reason it didnt do what it is suppose to do. It proably didnt help that I got pregnant while he was on leave from Iraq.You can imagine after not seeing each other for many months what took place a lot. So now I found out I am pregnant. I dont know how to tell him or what to do..Especially since he has nine more months in Iraq. I dont want to do this alone and also wanted to be married before this even happend.I am so confussed on what to do. I dont even know his views on keeping the child or aborting it..There is also no telling when I will be able to talk to him again since he is always on missions..I have no idea what to do.I am freaking out a little..If any one can help me then please do so..
2007-01-16 22:23:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am 19, my boyfriend is 21. I just found out that I am pregnant. I am on birthcontrol, but for some reason it didnt do what it is suppose to do. It proably didnt help that I got pregnant while he was on leave from Iraq.You can imagine after not seeing each other for many months what took place a lot. So now I found out I am pregnant. I dont know how to tell him or what to do..Especially since he has nine more months in Iraq. I dont want to do this alone and also wanted to be married before this even happend.I am so confussed on what to do. I dont even know his views on keeping the child or aborting it..There is also no telling when I will be able to talk to him again since he is always on missions..I have no idea what to do.I am freaking out a little..If any one can help me then please do so.. Oh and Yes..It is his I am faithful to him..
2007-01-16 22:40:39 · update #1
Yes..he is the father..I have been faithful since the day we started dating..
2007-01-17 00:08:44 · update #2
First of all, congratulations! A dear friend of mine found out she was pregnant two weeks after our hubbies deployed to Iraq. She wasn't sure when she would talk to him again, so she wrapped up the pregnancy test and made a "baby box" care package and sent it to him. I know its rough being alone and pregnant with a person you care about in Iraq. Do you know any other wives or girlfriends from his unit? Once you talk to him, ask him to get you in touch with another wife or girlfriend so you will have someone to talk to (and possibly get some info.). While your pregnancy won't be covered by military insurance, as soon as the child is born (if he claims it) he/she will be covered under Tricare. Good luck hun, you can do this!
Edited to add: To all of you that automatically assume she cheated just cuz she's a military significant other, screw you! That has got to be the most insulting thing ever! My husband was a Marine and all we ever heard from people was how all the wives/girlfriends/fiances were probably cheating. None of us (that I knew personally) did.
2007-01-17 02:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by duckygrl21 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hun, if you love each other this is great news, I'm almost sure he'll be more than thrilled when you tell him. This will have him motivated and excited overseas and he'll probably will be able to come and see you before your baby is born, on an special leave they have for this cases. Don't do anything you'll regret. If you've been faithful all this time I guess is because you really love him. A baby is a blessing and the celebration of 2 people loving eachother. You could tell your in laws but just tell them he doesn't know yet and that you'd like to give him the news. You won't regret it. Congratulations!
2007-01-17 00:17:34 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an abortion when I was 18 because I thought I was way too young to have a baby, and my boyfriend and I weren't married. It took a few years for it to really sink in. But I really regret it. I wish I would have had the baby. I think I should have looked at it as a good thing and not a bad thing. I was too scared to tell my parents, so I didn't for years. I told my Mom last year when we were talking and it broke her heart. She told me that she wished I would have come to her. I wish I would have too. Some women have abortions and don't regret it. I do though. And I hope that you'll think long and hard before going that route. It's something you don't forget. I sometimes think 'I would have an 8 year old right now'.
I wish you the absolute best. Keep your head up.
2007-01-16 22:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him the next time you talk to him. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, as they say. You didn't plan this... but it happened. Be happy. I know it's scary but it is a huge blessing. It is easy to start allowing the "what if' thoughts to frighten you. And it's also easy to assume that your life will be negetively affected by all of this... but just remember... that's fear of the unknown talking. Just know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and this baby is meant to be and will be a joy in your life... and your boyfriends life... when he gets back from Iraq. Also... remember that while some people might initially think you're too young... they will also find joy in the little one who is one the way. That baby will brighten a lot of people's lives.
My sister got pregnant, accidentally, at 18. She was devastated, afraid, etc. And my parents weren't that happy about it at first... but they got over it. And my sister decided to keep the baby. My niece is the light of our lives. As her Auntie I just love her to pieces. I cannot imagine her not being around. She is a gift for all of us and has brought our family closer together. I'm glad my sister had her!
You'll be okay. Just take it one day at a time. I hope all goes well when you tell your boyfriend.
P.S. I grew up in the military. I know it's hard to have a baby when your guy is away. But a lot of women do it. Just be glad he won't be around for those crazy mood swings! :o) You can send him pictures and keep him invovled that way. Keep a pregnancy journal... and you can eventually also share it with your little one when he/she is grown. :o)
Best wishes and CONGRATULATIONS!
2007-01-16 22:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by Haulie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, IS THE BABY HIS? Many women and men mess around on their significant other while they are deployed. If you messed around and there is even a tiny chance that the baby is someone elses, you need to confess. Don't hide it from him just because you want him to marry you. You need to tell him as soon as you get the chance to talk to him. If he is in Iraq for 9 more months, then there is no way he is going to be able to be there during the pregnancy. There is no way you are going to be able to get married either until he comes home. Just tell him, don't wait and surprise him at the last minute.
2007-01-16 22:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-07 07:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by blumenkrantz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, call his parents. Tell them and let them know you are trying to get ahold of him to tell him. If they get a call first, have them relay the message that you really need him to call you, but ask that they don't tell about the baby. As far as marriage, if he wants to too, you can actually get married by proxy. The marriage is legal and binding. He'd basically appoint a stand in for himself for the wedding.
The baby might be stressful for you, but hopefully he'd be excited. It would give him that much more to return home to.
If you honestly love him, try to include his parents in this. I wasn't able to marry my husband until he came back from tech school (Air Force). I was 8 months pregnant. As soon as he left, I started hanging out with his parents more because they meant alot to him and I wanted to have a good relationship with the in-laws. They really appreciated that I kept them in the loop (sonogram pictures, etc) and I'm glad they got to experience the progress of their first grandchild.
2007-01-16 23:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to let him know that you are pregnant, as a father, he has the right to know that you are carrying his child in your womb...whatever his reactions are, i do suggest that you keep your baby (you can never correct a mistake by another mistake, besides the baby is innocent and has the right to live), you have to be responsible since you are going to be a mother. im sure your family will understand your situation...
lets pray that the guy will be man enough to face this....but dont insist yourself on him, i mean dont force him to marry you....marriage should be out of love
2007-01-16 22:38:44 · answer #8 · answered by sheikaella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if it his baby he needs to know honestly i just back from downrange i know that is a whole lot of stress he need right now however he deffently needs to know only then can you BOTH make the disicion also http://www.militaryonesource.com might be some help
best of luck ill keep you both in my paryers
2007-01-16 22:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by Eric 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell his parents first off dont keep it too mysteries let people know so he doesent come back and feel you are pull something on him
2007-01-16 22:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by Realdeal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋