2007-01-16 22:03:46 · 22 answers · asked by doctorr327 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In Domestic Violence this is called "The cycle", over a period of time the guy gains total control over the female through emotional and physical abuse.
The female get's very confused and actually loses her ability to make proper decisions. A woman generally try's to fix everything and so forgives, and starts thinking if she does better in all things and then thinks the relationship will get better. This never works and the abuse continues, she forgives try's harder, he hits her again and she forgives.
The only way to break this cycle of abuse is to get the female away from the abuser for an extended time, no contact whatsoever. While she's away from him she needs to be counseled on what is taking place in her life. After a few weeks away from the abuser she will slowly start to realize what is happening and what she must do to stop this from happening.
The only way i've found successful is for the couple to break up permanently. As most abusers will never change, oh they may enter counseling and all that, but they just jump through the hoops and once they are out of counseling start doing it again.
2007-01-16 22:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some associate the pain with the aftermath of pleasure (heightened awareness emotion, good or bad). Some are comfortable with their material possessions that come along with the relationship and would rather give up pride than privilege. Others simply have no idea what love is suppose to feel like and have yet to love themselves. Many abusers were abused at some time in their life and blame their actions on this; this is like saying "I got burnt once by a lighter, therefore it is acceptable that I commit arson". Some like the attention it gives them, the sympathy that surrounds the circumstance. Most do need professional help to remove themselves from the environment; we must work on the mental well-being to preserve the physical. The "I am, therefore I deserve" mentality is a disorder for both the abuser and the abused. Such as "I am the dominant, therefore I must dominate" or "I am the slave, therefore I must be enslaved". The common belief that anyone "deserves" anything is, in itself, the ruination of mankind.
2007-01-17 07:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Nancyjo W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think by the time the abuse has started the woman usually already loves the man and is very attached. They hope they'll stop, the man might promise to go to counseling, etc. It usually doesn't ever work out that way from what I've seen. Another thing that happens is the abuse comes from seemingly nowhere so a woman wonders what she has done and tries to fix it. A woman also develops the "abused woman" syndrome. There's a lot written on-line about it, I'm sure.
2007-01-17 06:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by Chiv 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So many women have a fear of being alone, that they'll stay with an abuser just to say they have someone. They say it's love, but how can someone love you if they hit on you all the time? These silly women need to wake up! The first time my man hits me will be the last!
2007-01-17 06:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
On the average the ones that put up with that kind of abuse are looking for a father figure they are missing something in their lives and they confuse it with love. I' ve seen it on numerous occassions. I on the other hand wouldn't stand for that kind of behavior because as a child my father never hit me and I know he loved me, so no other man or anybody as that goes, will abuse me because I won't allow it.
2007-01-17 08:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by yukon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all but they call it martyrs.We cannot blame them coz i believe if you love someone despite of so you will accept everything even he's abusing you and i believe that females stupid if they are doing this thing even they hurting,they will come back again with him.
2007-01-17 06:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by kickers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very short and concise answer. They have LOW SELF ESTEEM and think that they have to settle with who they have, other then the ones who are afraid of who they are with. I am a man, and I do not hit women and do not believe in doing so at any time. Someone who lives like that deserves what they get IF they do not get out of the relationship. I have seen it many, many times before, and BOTH of them are MISERABLE, and will never have LOVE between them.
2007-01-17 06:10:00 · answer #7 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They think that's what they deserve. Some women see abuse as a form of love and passion. These kinds of women don't know what to do with a "normal" guy who treats them with respect, kindness, and consideration. Many of them hail from abusive upbringings. Many women love/are addicted to the "drama" also. It's a sickness.
2007-01-17 06:13:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
interestingly there is a bit of social phenomenon regarding women that get abused in relationships which basically suggests that a certain state of impaired self-esteem becomes addictive and you start believing all the bad stuff your self, so when good things happen you don't trust them and suddenly you find yourself missing the abuse.?!? Which kinda explains why they go back
2007-01-17 06:15:27 · answer #9 · answered by bex b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because they are Brain washed seriously
most abusive men tell their wives they can't exist with out them they are no good no one will help or blve them
most don't have jobs they are stay home moms and that means no $$$ no job experience
they also say sry afterward and don't mean it if they think they woman will really call for help they get all lovey dovey and end up doing it again
sometimes there are kids involved and they man will say i will get custody of them because you are useless no job no money
2007-01-17 06:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋