what should I do with my overprotective husband?

Question

I'm 23& my husband is 24.I've been married for a yr.My husband is everything a good husband can be.The problem is he is overprotective of me.He has made me fully dependant on him.It bothers me cuz when I was in USA I was so independant.He never let me go out alone.I'm ok with that for now cuz if I go out in Egypt alone I will get lost cuz I dont know places here.But if I want to go out with a friend,he doesnt let me.I've been in Egypt for a yr and I went out without him only once.I get so many good job offers and he always refuses cuz he cant bear me being away from home.I want to go visit my family in USA,he agrees but then keeps askin me not to go&leave him alone.I asked him manytimes to let me do immigration vis&papers for him but he refuses cuz he cant leave his office (I'm a USA citizen,hes not).He was engaged b4& his fiance passed away,i think thats why hes like this.It's hard to believe but sometimes I wish he didnt love me so much.I think hes got some major probs!what shud i do

thanks to all of u for ur answers and support. I just want to make it clear, I'm not exactly a foriegner. I'm originally Egyptian but was born in USA, lived in both countries for many yrs, so I speak perefect Arabic and I wear hijab so no one in Egypt can tell that I'm a foreigner or an American.
also, I`d like to add, he doesnt want us having a baby now cuz hes too worried abt me lol. I think hes going crazy, but I love him

Answer 1

OMG guys it's NOT insecure feelings toward her !!..I cannot believe ppl tend to interpret ones' acts this way rather than understanding them in good faith !!
For the asker :
He LOVES you, and he fears losing you so much, maybe he overreacts but I don't think you got married without you knowing this about'em ?
whatever, you said he lost someone close to him before, and this means you're SO CLOSE to him that he doesn't want this to happen again, I guess you should be grateful you've got him loving you so much, "My husband is everything a good husband can be" except for being "overprotective" and this seems very usual cuz he won't be PERFECT !...you can't have everything, either you accept him the way he is or (if you couldn't change anything) just leave him...though it will be a real loss !!...it's so hard to find such a loving person, I know girls who pray everyday to have less than what you already have !!

Answer 2

Your husband really loves you! I guess the experience he had with his fiance must have given him a trauma of losing the one he really loves. Egypt or any other countries aren't safe for any foreigner. He cares about you a lot. You should talk to him and tell him that you have your priorities too and that you still have things that you want to achieve or experience.. just like your interests and your family. Tell him that you've done it before (being independent) and that he shouldn't have to worry. But you should consider taking him with you whenever you travel. That way the two of you can get to know about each other's interests more and more. Also, you should try to do something without him noticing that would make him very happy and it should help him learn that you can do things your way, well, independently of course. I guess simple housework would do. Try being yourself and show him that you can do things without anyone's help. I hope I helped even a little!

Answer 3

it seems like he loves u alot! If I were u, try to convince him that you are capable to do things on your own. As time passes by, he will be able to overcome this feelings. I feel that he is behaving this way because you are in a foreign country. He does not want anything harm to happen to u. Try to do more things with him, at the same time you could explain to him how capable you are!!!! You are lucky to have some1 like him. Some husbands out there, might not care anything abt their wives. But he does, it is just that, he does not want to lose u as how he lost his fiance.. He must be a genuine husband!! Good luck to the both of u!!!

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel specially on the point of that sometimes you wish he don't love you that much,as sometimes I do wish not to love my hubby that much(for different reason) but that won't solve anything,you may just need to seriously talk to him confronting him by how does this bother you no matter how sad or disappointed that would make him,you need to tell him if he loves you he must consider what will make you happy and comfortable rather than considering what would make him so,but I don't mean that you have to be harsh,you still can do it in a nice loving way and of course you won't change everything in one shot,you had to compromise with him
Good Luck sweetie with your loving hubby

Answer 5

Noone should be smothered by 'love'. You should have seen this about him before you married, but it's not too late. He is being selfish by not letting you do things and go places, this person is caring for himself a lot more than he is caring for you. You should express your concerns with him, and if he is unresponsive to your feelings, then why stay with him? You will suffer, marriage is supposed to be a mutual relationship. Using a dead fiance as an excuse for smothering you is... well, inexcusable.

Answer 6

He seems to have some insecure type of feeling for u.But u need to either make him understand that u want to make for job, since it is your life and u only live once.If it doesn't get to his mind and he is not a too good a loving,caring n affectionate husband u need to leave him & start with a new life.

Have a nice time.

Answer 7

you must play the role of a psychologist in this case!!you must talk to him about this in a kind way!!a discussion is needed here!!because you will not be able to stand this forever , one-day you'll burst out!!night time is very suitable , give him something to drink(non alcoholic), & wear a nice dress & start a friendly conversation!!let him play back all his past , don't be too direct with him!!start with a phrase like: talk to me about your childhood!!try to let him talk about everything in his life ask him too many questions but at the same time give him a chance to talk untill you reach the point!!which is the real reasons about his attitudes!!discuss it with him untill you reach a point were you r both satisfied with!!

Answer 8

Well, am Egytptian and am telling you, Egypt is not that safe and specially for an american. I think you should keep on insisting on working because that will be the best way for you to blend in. Try to make him understand that this attitude is probably driving you away than protecting you.

Answer 9

omg! This man loves you, its geniune love , here its so hard to find that! Give him time to loosen up, hes lost someone he loved in the past!That is a horrible feeling, i know , i lost my first love ,years ago! He sure does not want to lose you!
Its so hard to find that nowdays, bear with him, Reasure him and find someone to talk to with,Good luck to you both!

Answer 10

confrontation.
Specific demands and sacrifices from both of you.
kissing and living happily everafter.