Is this child abuse?

Question

I have a friend who confided to me tonight that her husband thinks it's perfectly normal to watch pornos and masturbate while their 6 year old daughter is taking a nap on the bed next to him. I think it takes a pretty sick twist to be doing that. He says it's normal but he will quickly turn off the video if their older son comes into the room, so that tells me he has some guilt about what he is doing. Plus, there is doubt as to whether the daughter is asleep, or just laying on the bed watching what is going on. She has talked to her daughter and asked her if daddy ever "touches her" and the girl says no, but her behavior when her mother goes to work and leaves dad behind makes me wonder.

Is this considered child abuse, or just really wrong? She doesn't know what to do, but she's afraid that it may escalate into molestation if she does nothing. What would YOU do?? (I'd like to cram one of those videos down his throat)

I did tell her that my door is open and she is welcome to pack up the kids and come stay with me. I think he's a disgusting sick f***, but did not know if this would be enough to get him arrested or not.

Answer 1

Well mom should have no problem deciding what to do. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck---it's a duck. And this is abusive and dangerous behavior being rationalized by a man with a couple of problems. Before it gets worse, she needs to try to calmly tell him how she feels about this and that he should stop. You know he probably won't so she better back up her fight with legal advice-----ask a lawyer what constitutes abuse in that area and what can she legally do? She might need a private investigator to set up a secret monitor camera for a few weeks. Recorded images of any illegal actions will be admissable in a criminal court. More than that, she can save a child from the ravages of abuse. Do not allow the girl to sleep in the bed,,,get her in her room. If he is bordering on abuse, he will get the help he needs if he gets arrested, then you might say it is embarrassing---tough--he needs help and he should get it. If he gets dangerous--move out and take the kids to a safe place. Love is not supposed to include any of this. get involved and tell your friend that her husband is NOT normal...and spend a few bucks on a lawyer and a camera.Thanks for your concern

Answer 2

I don't consider it abuse, although I do feel his behavior is inappropriate. I think he watches porn and masturbates because he's addicted to it. He's addicted to it so badly that he doesn't exercise discretion, not even when children are involved. Though I'm not ruling out the idea of him being a child molester, I just don't think the symptoms point to that exclusively. All we really know (at this point) is that the man is horny. Obviously this horniness has gotten out-of-control. If I were his wife, I'd be more worried about our marriage than the possibility of sexual abuse. If the porn and masturbating are excessive, he's probably involved in things outside of their world. If not, he's probably thought about it.

What can you do to help? You can be a friend to this woman. This may mean overlooking the unusual - at least until she stops overlooking it. By confiding in someone else, she isn't resolving the problem. She's approaching the wrong people and should make more of an effort to discuss these feelings with her partner.

The man is perverted, but (so far) I'm not convinced he's a sex offender. A true sex offender once told me, "When I get outta this joint, I'm going to find your house and fuc! your 2 year old daughter". Now that's sick (beyond perverted -there is a difference).

Answer 3

Please talk to child services/social services and police. That IS abuse...the fact that he stops when the older son comes in the room proves he knows it's inappropriate and sick, but it's very obvious that it's wrong anyway. I'm glad that someone like you cares enough to do something about it. Abuse really messes up a life forever. Even if the wife doesn't consider it abuse the husband needs to be removed from the home. The fact that he's subjecting the daughter to being in the same room while he is doing that is vile and horribly harmful to her future emotional health and self-esteem. Just removing the videos and keeping an eye on the father isn't enough. That's making excuses for him and enabling. He needs to be held accountable for his behavior. He has a big problem.

Answer 4

It's risky behavior, if not perverted. He's a fool at the very least.

She said the girl is asleep, and the boy is awake people...if the girl walked in he might stop as well. Maybe the girl likes to be in her parents bed, but the boy doesn't, so she's just there. Maybe he would do it if the boy was sleeping in the bed too. Regardless of whether he feels any sexual titilation by her presence or not, he should not be masturbating with her in the room. It's too easy to get lost in the activity and not even realize she has woken. What an idiot.


I'd say don't overreact by calling the authorities just yet. I would say do what you can to make sure he understands it's inappropriate to do this in the presence of a child over a year old, and that if it continues, steps will have to be taken to protect the child.

Answer 5

Dad has probably threatened her in some unknown way to keep her quiet from what is actually happening. I sense your feelings about this are totally correct and I would definitely contact the authorities on this for advice or contact your priest or even the local legal aid assoc for how to proceed with this. If nothing else, do it for your daughter before something really bad happens. Yes this is child abuse in its worst sense Good luck

Answer 6

It think of the two certainly one of them choose greater interest, animal abuse, and new child abuse. in my opinion they are the two as undesirable a one yet another. No living creature ought to bypass in the process the abuse some bypass by way of.

Answer 7

How can he get it up with his kid next to him? That's sick! If I were her I would of knocked the crap out of him and left, then filed a complaint with the cops.There's obviously something more going on.Tell your friend your gonna give her 3 days to decide what to do or your gonna call the children's services. If she want s to let that man stay under the same roof as her kids,call children's services.Its our responsibility not only as adults,but as women to protect the children in this world and if you do nothing you'd be no better than him.

Answer 8

i cant tell you what to do, i would tell you what i would do.
destroy the damn movies, keep eye on dad, and its so wrong in my book, to have a child in bed, while dad is masterbating.
call childrens protective service and ask them of this, dont say names just yet, but ask them what does this fall under and
oh yeah tell the mother what you find out, also do it from a pay phone.
a child DOESNT need to even remotely possibly see a porno,
children mock what they see, whether on tv. in magazines, books,
etc.
take precautions, mommy's are the protectors of there children.
if mom has concerns she needs to grow a backbone and lay law down when the child is concerned.
this could escalate into molestation.

ask hubby, if its so normal what did micheal jackson go to trial for
for having kids in his bed, and dad is masterbating? what makes
that normal, kids have own beds, yet alone dad masterbating.
mom needs to stop the movies or make sure what is going on in her house, mom senses something is wrong and needs to speak up.
dad can masterbate in HIS bed without a child there, come on
whats wrong with him?
its just inaproppriate all the way around,
tell dad to grow up, or get out!

Answer 9

I would not wait one more minute to turn this sicko in! Yes it is child abuse and it may not be physical but emotional for a 6 yr old. Tell SOMEONE NOW!!

Answer 10

I would report him, that is defently mental abuse. Even if nothing comes from the report you can atleast be able to say you tried. That man is a pervert!!!