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even if that means your partner would leave you, but you love your partner and you don't wanna lose the love of your life?

2007-01-16 20:49:51 · 17 answers · asked by Rio Man 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

17 answers

Interesting question. If you cheated on your partner how could your partner be "the love of your life"? If there are problems in the marriage where the cheater is not getting his/her needs met then i would talk to my partner and let them know specifically what needs of mine are not being met. If my partner asked me within the conversation if i had been unfaithful i would have to be honest. If i cheated on my partner for a reason of my own that had nothing to do with any shortcomings pertaining to my partner i would have to tell them too. i would rather it come from me than someone outside the marriage (a friend, a relative, the person you cheated with.....) Believe it or not in this type of situation honesty does gain points. But the important point is that it is not up to you to decide weather to tell her/him about the infidelity, it is your responsibility to do so, it is the partner who has been cheated on who gets to decide if they choose to stay in the relationship. If your thought it "I'm not going to tell them because they will leave me" then you are continuing to be selfish and if they do find out they will believe the other person means more to you than them because you lied (yes! not telling is the same as lying) to protect the secret that you and the other person share. You can tell your partner that you made a mistake and that you have to tell them something. Tell them you are not happy with yourself because you have done something that hurt them and your relationship you share. Tell them you are not comfortable with being the type of person who is unfaithful and for your sake and your partners you feel you need to be honest and work through this together. Make a point to tell them that you are prepared for the consequences of your actions and offer them a path to start the healing process by telling them "WHY" it happened. Till this day i never got an answer to why my husband cheated on me but over time i have gathered enough information on my own to come to a conclusion as to why and this has opened the door to closure. I stayed with my spouse because i believe he loves me. I talked with both my husband and the woman he cheated with. she was married and i knew her husband. It took me a year but i finally got up enough courage to make the phone call to her husband and told him. I was prepared, i had concrete evidence. I believed it my duty to tell him. He assured me i did the right thing. Don't think your partner has no clue an affair happened. It's intuition. Good luck!

2007-01-16 22:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by denise b 2 · 0 0

it truly is a puzzling challenge. Your husband disrespected you, and that is very no longer ok. besides the undeniable fact that, you've spoken with him about it and he's apologized. what's major right it truly is to appeal to close if HE realizes he's disrespected and harm you. If he concurs with that, then all you may do is forgive him and anticipate it now to not ensue back. in case you imagine that perchance he doesn't quite imagine he did some thing incorrect, then you definitely 2 have many extra discussions to have about this. you do no longer make a mountain out of a molehill. it truly is an argument of disrespect. He says you forget concerning the ten issues he does ideal and makes a speciality of the a million ingredient he does incorrect? properly obviously! Ask him, even as your babies misbehave, do you enable it slide because generally they are sturdy youthful babies?? NO! lol. once you do some thing incorrect, you manage the consequences, no count number how previous you're. It appears like he does admit that he became incorrect, and also you should anticipate it to no longer ensue back in the destiny. If it does, you've were given a difficulty on your hands that perchance counselling might want to help with.

2016-11-24 22:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Does she know the other partner involved? Was it a stranger you had the affair with, kind of like a dust in the wind thing? If there is a chance that your partner would find out, then I would be pro-active and tell her. If not, I wouldn't. I'd forget it ever happened and not cheat ever again. Sometimes it's OK not to confess everything for the sake of hurting someone. But, if you think the other person would liable to spread rumors or be a thorn in your side, then you'll have to tell her because she'd know from someone else sooner or later.

2007-01-16 20:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by gone 6 · 0 0

I think most people are willing to forgive if the person is sincerely sorry and regretful for what they've done. This doesn't mean that your partner may not be angry and hurt, but there is a lot to be said for someone who confesses, and pleads for forgiveness. We are all human, and your partner must realize that too, that you are not going to be perfect all the time. The only thing we could hope for is for a partner who will be truthful, honest and be able to admit they've made a mistake.

2007-01-16 21:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by gg55 3 · 0 0

Always go with your conscience: you can wait until time
has passed since you cheated then tell your partner, or
you can keep it to yourself as not to hurt your partner,
but definaterly make sure you did not catch anything from
your other as to keep ur partner free from any sex dis-
ease and if you are a sincere person then you will know
to never cheat on your partner again as everyone is
human will make mistakes, but in your case you have
had your chance so you can't afford to make the same
mistake twice if you ever want to have a serious relation-
ship with someone.

2007-01-16 21:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0 0

Discretion is a better way of life. If u r repentant of what u did and never repeat what u had done, the possibility of the partner coming to know of it r almost negligible. But if the possibility of the partner knowing r bright, it is better to communicate and ask for forgiveness.

2007-01-16 21:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

yes you should. i can relate on this story. My husband cheated on me yet he told me all what he did. I know it is painful yet Im proud of him coz he got the balls to admit all his mistake. Yeah it is true that either of the two sides have consequences, you should face it coz its the consequences of what you've done. don't be afraid whether your partner might leave you or not. Who knows, she'll accept you again. Besides, If she truly loves you, she'll accept you whatever happens. In my case, i accept my husband again coz i truly love him and he changed now into a better person. He is now regaining my trust. if you really want to change and you feel sorry, start telling what you've done to ur loved one.

2007-01-16 21:11:27 · answer #7 · answered by chelsie is megan's mom 4 · 0 0

You need to tell the person what you did, a lie only stays burried for so long, eventually these things come out and although it may hurt him/her if there is enough love and respect there the trust can be rebuilt, if not learn your leason so next time you don't do it

2007-01-16 20:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Either way you pretty screwed, if you tell her the truth she will leave if you don't tell her you have to live with guilt of what you have done. But the thing is these situations have a way of coming out, so I would rather be the person telling her what happened and just beg for forgiveness. You did the crime.......

2007-01-16 20:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by ryan_thorne 3 · 1 0

You will lose that person. Guaranteed. Why did you cheat if you cared so much? You need to reevaluate yourself....which it sounds like you are doing that. If you know you will be faithful from now on....don't say anything. Although noone deserves to be cheated on....unless you are a complete ******.

2007-01-16 21:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by ♥2323vsb 2 · 0 0

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