i have several different relatives that have recent broken some massive moral laws such as commiting murder, sexual misconduct with a minor, arsen, and fraud. i know how bad all these are but still my heart weeps for them knowing that for some reason they felt they had to cross those lines. my sister says that she can no longer belong to a family this messed up and for my kids sake i should also walk away. but it doesnt feel right to me.
i want to understand why they felt they had to do all they have done. i want them to know that i dont approve and that i wont be letting them babysit within this lifetime, but that i wont turn my back on them. can i be disappointed in them while being understanding all without being immoral. i feel really bad for those that were hurt but there is nothing i can do for them. i do want to help my family heal the pain within them that caused them to go from extremely good kids to monsters. i want to know what changed them so the pain can end.
2007-01-16 17:50:39 · 5 answers · asked by painfully yours 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
they are all in jail now... it is after jail i am refering. my other family wants to turn away but i think that after these members do their time that they will need family and that turning our backs on them at that point would then be a mistake on our part because you dont run from those in need . our family somehow failed them once and i feel that whatever we didnt do that made them turn bad,,,we now need to help fix. if we turn away then i would feel like i single handedly failed them again
2007-01-16 18:31:27 · update #1
You are not wicked in wanting to maintain a family that you love. However, you are being naive and careless in following your heart in the manner you describe.
Religion teaches us to forgive all for it’s divine. Forgivness requires the sinner to repent, confess out loud, desire an act of contrition, and to ask and do penance.
You are describing taking on sins of others upon yourself so that you can maintain keeping your beloved ones together. However, this is not your journey to repent and do penance on their behalf. By doing so, you’re actually robbing them of curing themselves of this madness. It’s similar to when a parent does their kids homework. Sure the kid gets an A … but they didn’t learn.
Your sister is half correct in walking away. For her, it is a good decision. She needs to purify herself from the evil stuff she boar witness to; heal herself before she gets into the filth. You too would benefit from such purification. After you’ve had time to come to a full realization of the gravity of the situation, and the role you can play; then you can work on bridging family ties.
Make no mistake … you need to concretely see the family members that are corrupt make the steps to repent (stop doing bad stuff), confess (telling police and you) stuff they did, whole heartedly want to change their behavior, and do penance (jail time, payment to victims, humanitarian services). This is their journey; and you need to position where you’ll watch their journey. You’re sister is going far away; where will you be? What will you do when they refuse to repent and go further into their crooked behaviors?
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Ok, they're in jail ... but ... did they turn themselves in or fight jail time? Do they show TRUE sorrow for the acts they commited? Are they taking steps to keep them from temptation of commiting these acts in the future?
Similar to the recovering alcohalic. There's a 12 step prog. and one slide, and they're gone. So too are your family members who're getting out of jail. Like alcoholism, they need to first say, "I have a problem" ... "Help me". You can't do this for them ... but you can test them to see if they display the signs.
Should you go for being there for them (which I view as admirable) ... invest in reading about the problems (child molestation / pedifila/ murder/ piromania) they have and how others have recoverd from this. Find a back-bone 'cas that's what they need most. Sounds like they were young, and their hormones may have changed --- they may need a parental figure (Boundaries and love). You'd better be putting in educating yourself (books, psychologists, criminal councilors, and Priests/Ministers) because it's tough to be strong with boundaries and still show love.
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2007-01-16 18:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
examine those verses a million and a pair of lower back. intently this time. and additionally you will see that they even have no longer something to do with forgiveness. yet considering you have been raised to work out Christianity as a decision between heaven and hell, repentance and condemnation, you will by some skill turn any passage in the bible that suggests a decision, right into a passage approximately forgiveness/condemnation. yet those passages are no longer approximately that. As on your 3 rd element there. No the place in the bible does it say that no longer accepting Jesus is a sin or that it won't be in a position to be forgiven. lower back, on good of what i've got already mentioned above, you look to have been conditioned to work out Christianity as being approximately Accepting Jesus as your Lord and savior, and consequently you swap verses into that, whilst they have no longer something to do with that. The verse in question talks approximately blaspheming against the holy spirit (no longer Jesus). it incredibly isn't any longer even approximately accepting the holy spirit. It became mentioned to those that announcing that Jesus' artwork became the artwork of the devil, and because Jesus became working via the skill of the holy spirit, this declare became blasphemy against the holy spirit. The implication being the unforgivable nature of this form of ingredient has to do with the artwork that the holy spirit is doing. e.g. human beings have been searching on the holy spirit working to offer them from the devil's detention center, and announcing that this became the artwork of the devil. somebody who has their pals and enemies THAT blended up has truly made it no longer possible for themselves to be rescued. it truly is the assumption in the back of that verse. it is not approximately unforgivable, God can forgive something if he needs to.
2016-12-13 09:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dicern! But forgive.
I forgave my birth family who, as a baby threw me against the wall, left me in the sun for hours until I had to go to the hospital, left me in run-down buildings with strangers and dogs, with no food (just sugar water) no clothes or shoes (other than a small sundress in winter and shoes that my toes had to be curled under to fit in (all around the age of 1)
but I don't want to hang out with them, or meet them reallty, but I no longer have hard feelings about them, as bad as their sins/actions with me were.
2007-01-16 18:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen George W, you need to let it go. You have a bigger mess on your hands. Clean your own house up first.
2007-01-16 17:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
xanax does wonders
2007-01-16 17:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by Heywood Jablome 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋