Married for over two years and when I came home the other day from work and my wife confronted me and said that our close friends will give me a call that my wife is having an affair at the moment with a person who is living in our house. Though my wife had a two year affair before we got married I trust her and the person in the house I can't immagine he would even do anything like that. Our friends explained all the information came from my wife as being they trusted each other. The issue seems confusing as I trust my wife but the only way I could explain if my wife has a double standard life or our friends have fallen out.
2007-01-16 17:34:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hmmm, the answer to this question is tricky.
I think the answer really is in what degree do you trust your wife. all people are different and we all act differently. your wife maybe an outgoing person and she is secured in your relationship with her to act carefree. nothing maybe going on.
but i think you should sit down and take a conservative approach and tell her how you feel. what other people may be noticing and how it reflects on your relationship. i think a letter is better to tell her your feeling this way no-one gets sidetrack.
Her behavior afterward will tell you if you have a problem or not, not only will you see it you will also sense it better
2007-01-17 00:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to ask the question for you know that she previously had an affair prior to your marriage and even them you had questioms within your own mind regarding the issue of trust. You have managed to bury your head in the sand and let things ride.
You now have confirmation regarding an ongoing affair within your own household and yet you remain in denial.
Direct questions without delay will either allay your suspicions based on information from friends and and will unfortunately bring out the truth which you will have to confront.
Twice around should tell you that there will never be any trust as it is long gone and you will take the required steps to remedy the problem, Best of luck!
2007-01-16 18:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by trendz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry friend, that sounds like a confusing and lousy situation. My intuition tells me that people don't normally make up a story to tell someone about their spouse cheating on them- if they had a falling out with her, why would they want to hurt YOU? What I hear in your question is that you do doubt that your wife is telling the truth becuase she also has a history. I think you need to decide something (and this is the advice I would want if I were in your situation)
If she did cheat can you forgive her and move on?
When you know the answer to that, you need to confront her calmly and be clear. If you discuss it angry things just escalate.
I never believed that cheating had to be the end of a relationship- but it's obviously a sign that you guys would need to get some help being more honest with each other becuase I don't even know you and I know you deserve honesty.
Good Luck!
2007-01-16 17:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by lifestooshort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the only thing thats for sure is that someone is lying. Did your wife explain how she knew your friends were going to call and tell you? If your friends were for some reason conspiring to break you two up I wouldn't think that she would have had any kind of warning. It sounds more like she really thought she could tell them without them telling you and found out she was wrong so she tryed to be the first to catch you. On top of everything she has a history of cheating which dosn't help her case. What I would do is not make a big deal of it as if you believed her story so her and your live in friend won't be quick to hide their relationship if they do have one. Then I would place some kind of audio/video recording equipment in the house where you would suspect something to be going on and watch and see for myself. You can get nanny cameras for pretty cheap on Ebay that look like normal hosehold items. Video dosn't lie. Whatever you choose to do I hope you find out the truth and kick whoever the lier is out of your life for good.
2007-01-16 18:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is guilty over her own affair and afraid that you will have one. Blaming you allows her to feel balance to live with her own actions. I would go get myself some counseling in how to deal with this stress and try to ease her into coming along with you eventually? She may be telling you the truth that her affair was the only one and maybe has not forgiven herself and is thinking that you haven't either? The mental abuse over all of this needs to stop so that the both of you can move to a higher level in the relationship. Let her know how much this hurts you when she accuses you of something that is not true. You are probably going to need help with this one before it could possibly cause her own self fulfilling prophecy.
2016-05-23 23:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then l guess only you can decide whether to believe your wife or your friends. What would they have to gain by making something like this up ? If you know you can trust your wife, then there's your answer but if you are not 100% sure l would suggest you keep your eyes and ears open. Best of luck to you, l hope all works out in your favour.
2007-01-16 17:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit confused by your question. You should know your wife pretty well by now. What do you think? I think you should sit down with your wife and the person living in your house and talk this out. I also think you should meet with your so called friends and find out why they decided to tell you this. Go with your gut. Deep down you probably know what is true. Good luck.
2007-01-16 17:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Come on!!! Why would your friends make up a story like that. Your Wife has shown you her true colours once already. If you choose to believe your wife instead of the people who are trying to warn you about what is going on...You sir, are an idiot!
2007-01-16 21:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by Bill I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have created a mess in your own home. If you trust your friends believe them, If you trust your wife believe her if there stories dont match. Someone is lying, Figure out a way to see who is lying. set up a test
2007-01-16 17:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would getg rid of the person living in your house, and sit your wiikfe down and tell her that your being deathly serious, she has a chance to confess, and if she doesnt its over between you too. If she doesnt confess you have to go with your gut instainct becasue its seriously strange the story she;s giving you, its VERY Suspicious
2007-01-16 17:49:14 · answer #10 · answered by balanced_lil_angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋