i can't stand the person i live with . he is my ex of 5 years and was abusive and controlling when we were going out . we finally broke up a few weeks ago , but he is still a total a$$hole . i'm at home by myself half the time but half the time he is too and every time he is around me i get so depressed , i feel like i am starting to go crazy and i am about to have over 5 weeks off from work so i will have to be with him every second of the day .he is so selfish everything about him makes me sick . i wish i could live somewhere else but i have nowhere else to go , no family .and cant afford to live alone . he can afford to live by himself but he wants me to live there because we can still pay half of everything and he has no-where else to go . i dont know anyone because in the last 5 years he didn't like me having friends, so cant live with friends. what would you do in this situation ? thanks for your answers :)
2007-01-16 17:28:49 · 15 answers · asked by Me 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont think im "the victim" i just have no idea what to do right now because i do have a job but i dont make enough to pay for the rent every week + bills + food and everything else . and i really dont want to live with a stranger because i dont trust people with my stuff when im not home . but thanks for the suggestions though
2007-01-16 17:40:05 · update #1
i forgot to mention i have a dog. so i dont think i would be allowed in a small unit with a dog. i would never leave my dog behind either she is the only thing that has kept me sane these last few years
2007-01-16 18:00:45 · update #2
look for some one who is renting out a room and don't mind having your dog live there and move out yes i can anderstand that you don't like having strangers around your stuff when your not there neither would i but it might be the only way as i don't know many shelters that will take dogs but either way get out of there as soon as possible the best bet is probably renting a room in a house that doesn't mind you having the dog and i know what you mean about leaving your dog i could never do that to my little girl keep in mind that if you do rent a room they won't be strangers for to long as you will quickly get to know them
2007-01-16 18:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by megan p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from!! Made the mistake of staying married to an abusive man that I came to despise thinking it would be the best for the 'childrens sake'. I too did not have any friends left, he either ran them off with rudeness or slept with them. I worked and could not afford to leave either but finally decided I was not going to spend my life like that, life is far too short for that! My situation was quite a few years ago and I do not know what is available nowdays for someone in your situation. I had to go to a shelter to finally get away from his abuse. That was 18 years ago and I have not regretted it one single second. It was hard, no doubt about it! Sometimes I had to do without water, electricity and even food but it was all worth it to finally gain self respect and dignity. I am sorry that I can not offer any more than this. But at least try and find out if there are any womens shelters or something of that nature in the area you live in.
2007-01-17 01:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by karen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if someone at your job needs a room. There has to be someone you are okay with. A family member you like and could handle living with. you are no longer with him so get some friends go out show him you have moved on . if he sees you have moved on then maybe he will move out. It's not going to be easy but you have to see yourself without him. Right now it's a live in situation not a relationship.Do something you wouldn't normally do like go to a club or join a club. Look in your area for cafes or hot music spots anything to get you out the house.
You should not stay in this situation. It is unhealthy for you and you are still allowing him to abuse you. By you getting depressed is a sign that he has control over you. So if you can save alittle bit a money out of every check. Check out your newspaper and see how much a place would cost. Go look at some places so you can start to see yourself without him. Don't be scared you deserve it. You deserve peace and happiness.
2007-01-17 02:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are a very attractive woman if the picture is of you. Secondly, I would check out the dating game and find a nice loving guy who would LOVE to let you move in. Leave this stupid ex. Just take the time you need to get situated and then get out of there. If a shelter is not ideal, then the other idea probably could work. Good luck to you, and I hope you don't have to stay with this guy for long!
2007-01-17 01:48:25 · answer #4 · answered by jokerscard692000 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm in the exact situation you are in. I work a different shift and work the days he is off to avoid seeing him. I would suggest getting another job for the five weeks that you'll be off in a fun place that you would enjoy being if you were on your own time. Maybe you'll meet some new people there too!
2007-01-17 02:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by dee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start looking for a room to rent, you didn't say that you had a job, but I am assuming since you pay half of the expense of living there. I would rather be with a stranger than with your guy.
good luck
2007-01-17 01:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by smasinner 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you need to go get find soemone who has a house and is renting a room, beleive me they think the same thing about you, they are taking a chance with someone in their house, so you'll have that in common ( respect for each others thibgs) get away from this guy immediatly.... isolating you is not normal, its abusive, and you know your not happpy so get out while you can and still have your sanity, trust me the redeeming part will be when you tell him to piss off and your moving. most abusers think you'll be nothing without them so PROVE HIM WRONG, you are something and always will be...
2007-01-17 01:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by balanced_lil_angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you could start looking for a share house, there should be plenty of people out there looking for someone. living in a share house is perfect when you need to sought yourself out whilst making new friends along the way. sounds like you need to get out there and start meeting new people and this is a good solution to your problem. just remember that most share house situations are only temporary but is a cheaper option when looking for a more permanent living arrangement. i'm sure you'll have no problems finding new friends you just have to breakaway from your current situation...that is of course if you're serious about getting away from your ex. good luck
2007-01-17 01:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is always an option. Find a cheap studio for yourself, or find a roommate. If you want really want to, you could be out by the end of the week. Quit making excuses and playing the victim and take control of your life.
2007-01-17 01:41:01 · answer #9 · answered by dancin thru life 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you spoke with your family? My ex was like that, and I know it's not a good position to be in. If he is abusive, there are shelters to help, get out if thats the case... if not check your resources, family, an old friend, be honest with them, people don't know you are in trouble till you let them know! Good Luck. I hope things go well for you!
2007-01-17 01:40:32 · answer #10 · answered by snickers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋