My boyfriend smokes marijuana, but he won't admit to me that he still does (just trust me, I KNOW he is still using it regularly)... And I absolutely hate it. It is against my morals, but we have been together for a year and he only started smoking it in august.. But he HAS to stop... How can I help him when he won't even admit it? It is killing me. He is a freshman in college and his parents help him with money. He hasnt had a job in over a month and he stays up till 6 am and sleeps till 3. He actually isnt even taking classes this semester! How can i get him to get his life back on track... he says he wants to! But should I call his parents.
2007-01-16 16:58:24 · 28 answers · asked by Fussy Duckling 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think you should call 'em---they're paying for the pot! But you should do it discreetly.....or he'll be fit to be tied and the anger will be pointed largely in your direction.
The truth is, that at his age, he's going to have to make a major life decision about this pot smoking thing. 'Cause it's going to impact the rest of his life if he choses to continue using it. If that's his choice, you should be prepared to move on. You deserve better than a silly immature pothead. BTW, he's not liable to mature till he hits his 30's.....and maybe, never if he's getting high.....
2007-01-16 17:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Brenda 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey girl, listen I was looking for someone in the same situation by putting in my question and finding you! Isn't it terrible when he doesn't even care you exist anymore? mine is 7 yrs younger than me I am 31. He just heavily started using this but used it before heavily a long time ago when he was with his ex. She didn't like it from what I hear either. My problem wasn't that he used it when we would party but its the fact its an everyday thing. He forgets details of our conversations and totally doesnt' call or text me anymore. He watches T.V and is stuck at his apartment with friends from work. These friends who seem to be more popular than he ever was (heard he was a dork in school) I don't know what he is looking for. His roommate has been smoking it for years and it didn't have an influence on him anymore now it does! Whats sad is he started smoking when he was 5 because of his uncle who was is 27 now got him on it. He has a son and says he wont smoke it around him when he sees him but I don't think that will last for long. I am here for advice too!
2007-01-18 11:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by Karri D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set your standards and if he doesn't meet them you need to walk away until he chooses to change for himself.
Chances are he started smoking to relieve stress or became exposed to it from newly made friends at the university. It's likely his drug use is also influencing his sleep habits, school attendance and lack of employment.
You don't have a right to call his parents. They have nothing to do with your relationship. The only person you are truly responsible for is yourself.
Of course he isn't going to admit it if he thinks you're judging him or it spark an argument. I suggest you leave or attempt to get to the real root of why he started smoking to help him. Let your expectations and motivations be clear.
Let him know that you want a future with him and you will not tolerate drug use, period. He either thinks you worth it, confronts his issues and stops or he risks losing you due to his poor choices.
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Nothing should be a mystery or unclear. Relationships are mutual and if one person is not meeting the other's needs or vice versa the relationship will never survive long-term.
2007-01-17 01:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me say this. Whatever he's going through it has nothing to do with the weed. IF he stops, He will still be the same guy. His issue goes deeper than that. If he's suddenly changed then it sounds like depression, or maybe a new friend influenced him. All I know is, you can't change him. He's a grown man, and the only thing you can do is leave him alone. Trust me, if he loves you, he'll want to change for himself, and eventually he will come back to you.
2007-01-17 01:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by Bizzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is an adult and makes his own choices,
don't call his parents, he may or may not be going through a phase, you can try to organize fun things out such as hiking or biking, or whatever...something where there is not much idle time.
Something that makes hime see he doesn't have to get high to have a good time
A lot of people smoke if they are bored or feel unmotivated. Activities can really help with that.
He may also be depressed and getting high will only intensify thatt.
Don't just totally write him off, if he rejects your offers and keeps hibernationg you can still split or do whatever you think is appropriate
2007-01-17 03:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by thatswhattheytoldmelastnight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the pot, it's his attitude. I go to school and get straight A's, and I'm starting my own business. It's a plant from the Earth. If he doesn't have a job, or isn't going to school, get on him for it, but don't blame a plant. Make the guy take some responsibility for himself. And stop trying to control him if he enjoys smoking. Read up about it. It has a bad rep, but it's not a bad thing.
www.norml.com
2007-01-17 01:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll send you my address. Mail his stash to me. Yummmm. Happy Brownies.
Ok, seriously. There are actions you can take that might rescue him, but most likely will wreck your relationship. His behavior is also going to wreck the relationship. Face it, if he doesn't change, eventually, you will walk away. And you probably should.
The best chances are to tell his parents (who probably won't believe you) then walk away. If he ever gets back on track and realizes he wants you, perhaps you will get back together. On the other hand, you may decide you are better off without him.
2007-01-17 01:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. I had almost the same problem. My boyfriend smoked alot too and after fighting about it for months I got to the point where I couldnt stand fighting anymore! So I simply told him "look I know your doing it so now your not only doing it but you are lying to me about it too! If you do not stop and get your act together I will find someone else, someone just like you but who has his stuff together." I dont know if it will work for you but it worked for me. Oh yeah, If you say this and he doesnt stop then stick to your guns and leave him! no one is worth constanly worrying about especially if they lie to you about what your worried about, then its a problem, one that I am sure you dont need to deal with! Hope this helps!
2007-01-17 01:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call his parents? He is in college and YOU want to call his parents? Hahaha look, that is stupid. Break up with him or whatever, its not like he is doing METH or Heroin... its weed. I've been unemployed for a month and have his sleeping habits too and occasionally smoke some bud but, Hey... I am not evil. Anyway.. if he choses not to stop, you dump him!
2007-01-17 01:08:53 · answer #9 · answered by Isabel G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't change a guy, they have to want to change themselves. Sounds like he wants to have fun and isn't ready to stop. He is an adult and is making his own choices. If you call his parents, you would lose him and his friendship. If you want to put up with his sh...t then suck it up and accept him. If you don't agree then leave him. (He does lie to you!) Maybe break up and give it some time. Eventually he will grow up. It may not be the right time for a relationship.
2007-01-17 01:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by dietcokes4me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋