I'm getting to the age where my gynocologist tells me that if I want to have a baby I have to have one NOW. I'm single and not in a serious relationship. It's a bit scary thinking of having a baby on my own, but I don't want to miss that amazing experience. I know I am opening myself up for possible ridicule and denouncement, but how do you know if having a baby on your own is the right thing for yourself?
2007-01-16 16:42:43 · 15 answers · asked by EJS 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you ever want a child do it now before it's too late and you regret it. There is nothing wrong with being a single mother. You can always find the man later and if he's the right one he should have no problem adopting your little one.
2007-01-16 17:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by sweetjenv23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want a baby, then you should have one. Only you can decide if it is the right thing for you or not. Who cares what anyone else says. They may talk for awhile, but they'll get over it. It's your life and you should do what's right for you.
Don't let anyone tell you that you need to be married. Of course that would be ideal, but nothing in life is guaranteed. I know so many people who have gotten married and had kids and then a few years later it ends in divorce.
It is an amazing experience and if it's something you want then do it. However, you need to be realistic. Your life will change dramatically. If you are financially capable of supporting a child, can function on little sleep and have a strong desire to be a good parent, then do it. It would also be beneficial to have friends and family close by. Even if you are superwoman, you'll still want a support system. I wouldn't encourage everyone to be a single parent. However, if you are a nice woman capable of supporting a child on her own, that just hasn't found the right man, then why not do it yourself? Make a list of pros and cons, make a budget, listen to your heart and use your common sense to decide what's best for you! Good luck to you!
2007-01-17 01:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not my place to judge you or moralize here....
All I can do is tell you of my experience.
I'm a single mom with three kids (divorced). It's HARD. And I have help!! My parents live close by and help me out a lot...without them I'd lose my mind.
If you do plan on having a child as a single mother, my only advice to you would be to set up a strong support network. Friends, family etc... people that can relieve you for a few hours so you can wash your hair and get some groceries. Someone you can call up and complain to when your child is driving you batty.
It may sound corny, but it really does take a village to raise a child.
Chosing to have a child out of wedlock/relationship and chosing to have a child alone are two different things. Personally, I don't have a problem with the first one. The second one? All I know is that doing all on your own is really really hard.
If you have a good strong support network, then I say do it. But, don't do it just because it something you really want. Do it because you want to nurture life. If you're just going to have a baby and then fire it in daycare all the time, then why bother?
2007-01-17 00:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by pianogal73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First is are you in a position to support a child on your own? If so, go for it. A lot of people are married and have kids and end up divorced and they are on their own with kids anyhow. Half the time one of them goes into hiding and they get no financial help anyhow. This day and age no one gives it a second thought weather your married or single when you have a baby. If you can support and take care of a baby on your own, go for it. Never worry about what someone else might think.
I think older people make a way better parent, they reach a stage in their life where they are not so self centered and a lot smarter.
2007-01-17 00:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and think about it and write down your thoughts. Talk to other single moms and spend time with them. Write down your reasons for wanting a baby and your fears. When it is all wrote down you can look at it and figure out what decision is best for you. Don't do it because your Dr says so but because you really want to. Being a single mom is so scary at times but being a mom is so wonderful in my opinion. It is great to have a second person there but it isn't the end of the world being a single parent either. Just look at all the facts and pay attention to your heart. Just make sure you do what you want to do. If you really sit down and take time to listen to yourself you will know the answer. Do you enjoy being around children a lot? Do you think about having a baby? How do you feel about babies? ......
2007-01-17 01:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by momof3boys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I'm all about being married and having a mom and dad around...but lately, I think single women can do it just fine on their own. We're military...4 deployments...tons of TDY and schools...I'm pretty much a single mother with a call-in dad. We all love eachother very much, but there are a few times I envy true single mothers. You don't have someone telling you how to parent from thousands of miles away...you can find weekend comfort with a random man if you want. If you feel it in your heart to have a baby, go for it. You'll be just fine.!
2007-01-17 01:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by Silver B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a single mom is hard I know this because I am one I have 2 little girls (To the same Dad) he just up and decided to leave, but I can tell you know it is the best experience in the world and if you want to have a baby then do so if you have the financial, mental and physical aspects of being a parent then it shouldn't matter if you are single....LOVE IS WHAT COUNTS
2007-01-17 00:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with what is in your heart. If you can afford a baby and have a stable life and think that you are up to the challenge do it. Just remember a child is alot of work and responsibility and it changes your whole life. I know someone who had one baby with a sperm donor and another one on the way, she couldnt be happier. I also know someone that was talked out of having a child without a husband and still regrets not having one. Do what is in your heart but remember it wont be easy.
2007-01-17 00:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
EJS...if it was the right thing for you right now, you'd already have your baby/child...right?
I am just 32, and because of structural defects in the uterus and hormone problems, I cannot have babies and am now going through early menopause.
IF children are in your heart in the future...do what I did...adopt from Foster Care...or adopt however you feel you need to...there are SO many kids out there that need a loving mom...you just don't NEED to have a bio one if it's not in your heart of hearts right now.
Know what I mean?
2007-01-17 00:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your financial situation is stable, and this is really what you want, then go for it before its too late. If you don't you may end up regretting it, and spending the rest of your life wondering "what if?". Don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it, do what is best for you. good luck, and I hope whatever you decide to do makes you happy.
2007-01-17 01:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by JoshsGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋