so ive know that ive been gay/bi for a while. [i say gay/bi because right now im not sure. i have feelings for a friend thats a girl but im more into guys] but anyway. ive come out 2 my best friend and i even knew that she was okay with it and it was hard. and that was in novemeber! [am i taking it too slow? i havent told anyone else since]. and i dont know where to go next. im really insecure and have had trouble with losing friends since elementary when i had none for 3 years but i want to come out to other friends, ones that i think would be supportive first. so what steps should i take?
also. my brothers [at least one of them] is extremely extremely hateful towards gays and i think my mom would have nothing to do with one. my other brother and dad im not sure about but i think they are more against and for. so while im coming out i don't want my family to really know. how do i keep it from happening so i still have the ability to do damage control? [oh my bros go to my school]
2007-01-16 16:41:27 · 7 answers · asked by Derrec 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm fifteen years old and im a sophomore in high school
2007-01-17 07:57:26 · update #1
In your question, you didn't say how old you are. Keep this in mind along with what others here have said....wait until you are out of high school. Save some money as best you can so that you can be prepared if your folks go ballistic. I'm making that previous statement only as a "been there, done that" scenario. My folks went nuts and I haven't talked to them in over two years. I know how that confused "don't know for sure" phase can be.....I was actually in that phase for nearly 8 years. You really don't need to tell anyone about who you really are.....if they are a true friend, then they should have figured it out on their own. Base who you do tell on the past and how well that person can keep their mouth shut. You really don't want your brother telling your folks....that always backfires. It is perfectly normal to have feelings for a female and be gay. It is more of a personality attraction than a sexual attraction. I wish you the best of luck, and if ever need any other advice, I'll gladly give it....just drop me a line.
2007-01-16 23:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by lovefinallyfoundme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to do anything? Frankly, unless you intend to sleep with someone, it is not anyones' biz WHAT you are. In time, everyone will figure it out if you want them to. A little mystery about a person is not such a bad thing. The only reason I have a problem with kids "coming out" is that it seems that they then get labeled as "the gay kid"...not Joe or sally or whoever....it becomes Joe...the gay one. I work with a lot of kids who come out...I think they are very brave but they have to put up with so much foolishness from that point on. Is it needed? Naw...
I hear a lot of gay people who beat on gays who "stay hidden"...saying things like your not being true to yourself blah blah blah. It is flat out wrong. Everyones situation is different.
You want my advice? Tell those who you WANT to know...the rest of them? Let them figure it out on their own. Wait till you are older, you will get a lot less flak about it all- and besides, by then, most will have more/less figured it out by then. There is no law that says you have to announce anything at any particular time. Relax....just let it happen naturally.
2007-01-17 01:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by prowling_1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to come out to more ppl in your situation I would recommend you tell your family first and then out to your friends, it will be better if you talk things over with them and explain the situation rather than have one of your brothers tell your parents he heard a rumor in school about you being gay or something like that.
Before doing this though you should talk to your friends a see who you can stay in case things get bad (it's safer to be ready for a worst case scenario), save some money and then talk to your family. If they really love you they will accept you for who you are.
Although they might first go through the stages of grief (Like denial, anger, bargain but finally acceptance)
2007-01-17 01:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait till you leave school.
Thats what i did.
wait till you are not as dependant on your parents as now. so that if they do take it bad, they cant really do any thing about it.
While you are in shool there is a better chance of ppl making your life hell.
After shool you can be your own person.
Good luck, and you will know when the right time is to come out. We all have to go there one day.
Good luck, and dont stress too much, life has a funny way to work itself out, Believe me!!!
2007-01-17 01:13:57 · answer #4 · answered by Saffa_Boy_83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come out as either Gay or Bisexual, but just do it. I personally think that You should opt for putting a 'tick' in the "Bi" box, that way your still covering Your bets.
2007-01-17 00:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next holiday, stand up during dinner and say. Hey, I'm gay...please pass the butter. Digest that.
2007-01-17 00:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by 1heather247 M 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
keep it to yourself.
they'll figure it out eventually.
2007-01-17 02:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋