Why is it so wrong to desire another man's wife when you can't find one of your own?

Question

I see no harm in this as long as you don't act out your feelings. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Yes it is. Remember the 10 commandments? There's a reason for it. If you let yourself develop anything more than finding her to be attractive, you're opening the door for lots of trouble for yourself and for her (and her marriage). Keep looking for your own woman and you'll find her. Good luck.

Answer 2

It's not necessarily "wrong," as in, you're not doing anything about it.

However, it's not a constructive use of your emotional energies. This woman is TAKEN, with a capital T-A-K-E-N, as in totally unavailable. There is no hope. Desiring her, sitting around in a haze of testosterone thinking about another guy's wife, will get you nothing. It's a complete waste of time, and the more you dwell on it, the more compelling it will seem, and the more you might unconsciously start trying to sabotage her marriage or nurture hostility towards her husband.

Limit your contact with this woman, and go out there and try to meet single, available women. It's perfectly okay if you look for women with qualities like hers, and think of her as a role model for your future wife. But DON'T allow yourself to dwell too much on that which you can't have, because that way madness lies.

Go read Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" for a story about a young man who drives himself crazy wanting another man's fiancee. It doesn't end happily for him, and even then she's indifferent to him.

Answer 3

As long as the "other man"'s wife AND "the other man" agrees there is no harm. But in general, one should NEVER dare desire another man's wife, as this is beyond the ethics of humanity. Ceratin things in life are not for sharing, that is the way it has been, even among animals. Just put your self in the shoes of other man, what would you feel?

Answer 4

There is a specific biblical proscription against desiring the wife of another. Jesus explained it this way, " Sin starts in the heart, finds its way into the mind and winds up getting acted out. If you think about having the wife of another, it will lead to other sinful behavior." The more you ponder the idea, the more likely you are to think of a way to try to get the object of your desires. If there aren't enough female prospects in your circles, change the social groups you hang out with. Good luck.

Answer 5

Because it is lusting after another mans wife... If you were married would you want some guy thinking about your wife like this???? The Bible says if a man look at a women to lust after her he already has commited the act in his heart.... To me that is the same as doing it... You really need to find someone who is single to date. If you think about it long enough it will someday turn into the act anyways.

Answer 6

Having appreciation for the good qualities, physical attractivess of someone's wife is harmless. Allowing that appreciation to grow into desire is not a good thing.

A mature person realizes that only gives seed to eventually attempting to act on it.

Branch out - meet more women - date and until you do meet someone who gives you that special feeling stay away from others' mates completely

Answer 7

Because it's forbidden fruit! It's human nature to want that which you cannot have. Unless the husband invites you to join them, I'd be very careful if I were you. You're skating on thin ice if you're more attracted to married women than the ones who are available. Especially if the wife on your mind is the wife of a good friend.

Answer 8

Now you think you wont act out on those feelings, but what happens when they continue to get stronger...will you be able to hold back and not do something you will regret later on? You need to stay away from this. Try harder to find someone of your own.

Answer 9

God's word says, "If you have lusted after a woman, then you have already committed adultery." This my Friend will slide you right on in to Hell.
This way of thinking is a safe-haven for you, or at least that is how you feel. That other woman belongs to another. I bet you could find one for yourself, but if you continue to take this way out you will never find a woman that truly belongs to you!

Answer 10

Because she has another life and isn't a part of your's. Besides it's one of the 10 commandments "Thou Shalt Not covet". Stop wanting what you can't have and focus on being the kind of man actually WORTHY of a woman.