Does the partner have to be called when giving birth to his child?

Question

Pregnant, Married, Separated after spouse committed adultry. After first separting said he wanted nothing to do with this child, hoping it'd die, but did say he'd pay the child support check, and now he has a change of heart. He wants me to have full custody, but him visitation rights. Filing for divorce after child is born. Help.

Answer 1

Honestly, you can't stop him from feeling the way he does. All you have to do is let him go.

Why would you want a man that cheated on you and then wished that the baby of yours died? I know its easier said than done, but if you want him back, you need to let him go. Let him leave. You want a man to be with you b/c he loves you and wants to be with you. You don't want him to be with you b/c you two are having a baby b/c then its all fake. And you'll know it. I wouldn't be able to be with a person knowing he's only here for 1 reason and it ain't me.

Kindness kills. You want him to love, care, and be about you. Stop calling him immediately. Stop annoying him. Every time you see him or speak to him, act and look extremely happy. Don't let him see you sad and weak. Men love to stomp on women when they see that. Don't let him think he's got the best of you.

Don't call him when the baby is born. Remember that is something that he should be thrilled about. If he isn't, then he isn't a man. Don't tell him ****. It will be his own loss. That moment the baby is born will be something you'll never forget. And if he doesn't want to be a part of it, then its his loss. Although you two are not together anymore, you were married and are still, he should show you respect. Not only respect for you but for your family.

He said he'll give you child support right? And when you get a divorce, don't forget to take 1/2. Get your alimony too. Act cool now and when you get to the court room, be a *****.

What type of woman is he with? That will allow him to be just the support and not the father of that child. Let him go. Be strong. You have to look out for the best interest of yourself and your child. He's a scumbag and for what he's done to you, you should never ever forgive him for. And you should let him see his child, you never know if he'll have a change of heart.

Answer 2

Giving birth is hard work, you need support not a mixed bag of emotions during a critical time. No he does not have to be called when you deliver, you are the patient and confidentiality needs to adhered to. Simply dont give the name of the father out and ask that any calls regarding your presence at the hospital be treated confidentially and no info given out. You can tell him re the child when you are ready. Of course if you want that child support then you will need to let him now real soon so all the paper work can go through and be processed. You are the person forgiving birth if you really want him there meet before the birth and draw up the ground rules. Chances are if he becomes threatening etc at the hospital he will be required to leave. What a horrible thing to be going through, so yes his emotions have changed and perhaps what was said was said in anger but really they were very nasty and cruel words. You are right to divorce him if a man cant be supportive of his wife during this most vulnerable time then he deserves nil. I hope you have family to draw upon and wish you the best.

Answer 3

All of the visitation and child support will be worked out in court. Don't worry about that now. If you call the father or not is up to you. But think of this. When jr. gets older and wants to know why daddy wasn't at the hospital are you gunna say that daddy didn't show up or that you didn't even call him?

Answer 4

I don't want to offer any advice. I'm not a lawyer or anything (just watch too many court shows). Just remember, some guys they like to "play the field" (so to speak). Play it smart. Make him PAY child support and put it in writing. Put a provision in place just in case he "loses" his job. If he does want visitation, again put it in writing, that he cannot leave the city, state or the country, for that matter with the child. He wanted YOU to have full custody. Excuse me for being sarcastic. He probably doesn't want custody because he doesn't want to "cramp" his soon-to-be lifestyle. But, remember, put it in writing.

Answer 5

This seems to be different depending on the family. I know kids who call one parent by their first name, some that call both Mom or Dad. I have friends with 3 kids who call one Mom and one Mama. This will normally develop naturally as the child grows up. Congrats on your new addition!

Answer 6

He doesn't have to be notified, but it would be the mature thing to do. You don't have to agree to him being in the room, but it is still his child. It should be what is best for the child, not your feelings...
You are lucky he's nice enough to not argue over custody and wants visitation, financial care, and a desire to be a father.

Answer 7

He does have the right to know when his child is born whether he wants to or not....at least you can tell your child u called him to let him know that he had a child in this world. As for visitation...if he wants to be part of your childs life let him_

Answer 8

Well my baby is 4 months old-same scenerio-- and since I knew it wasnt going to work out I am still upset he was at the birth--if you already know--as I did it --won't work out--let him know you are in labor and than let the nurses and doc know he can't come in til the babe is born. He should know but does not need to be in the delivery room.

Answer 9

No but you should let them know about the baby so his name can be on the certificate and so he can be involved in the babies life if he wants to be.... Since he has a change of heart i would let him at least see the baby.

Answer 10

why wait to file after the child is born; you can start the paperwork now (if that is what you are going to do).

he is entitled to visitation, and it is handled separately from child support; totally two different issues.

here is a cs calculator; just click on your state, fill it in and that will give you a general idea as to what the child support will be.

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm


more links to help; just click on your state and find the section (topic) you need.

http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html

http://www.supportkids.com/

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/collectchildsupport

http://www.singlemoms.org/info/main.htm
http://www.singlemotherresources.com/
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/chapterfind.asp

http://www.mowaa.org/
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/