OK, I need suggestions. I found out today from my 7 year old that her mother (my ex wife) told her that I'd been to prison. That's a total, outright, flippin LIE! I've never been to prison, never been arrested, and don't know why she would say that. When she and I talked about it, she said, "After Mommy said that I just sat on the couch and was quiet while Mommy changed channels over and over". This nutbag has tried to take me to court and have me labelled as an unfit father for the following reasons:
1. I had a crack in my windshield.
2. My car wasn't smog checked
3. My daughter had a nightmare.
4. My new wife took my daughter to a doctor's appointment.
OK, I need suggestions. Should I blow this off or should I press the issue? My daughter's teachers say that the rantings of my ex wife are starting to have an effect on my daughter. We've been divorced for almost 5 years, but she's STILL pissed off at me. Ideas anyone?
2007-01-16 16:29:45 · 11 answers · asked by tranquility_base3@yahoo.com 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Firstly keep your anger in check. You have a right to be angry but dont react how your ex wants you to react. Your daughter will go home and say Daddy was angry etc and she will use this against you. Your ex has issues and I bet you dont need to be told that. Get a lawyer if you can and write about defamation of character, dont approach her as this will go against you. Have you thought about custody. Have a word to the teachers about your daughter and remind them if that they have concerns then they are obligated to report such to the child authorities. You to can report your concerns to them. Nil might occur but at least it might tone her down a bit maybe not so much in favor of her feelings towards you but maybe her behaviors around your child.
There is no way to make your ex let go except not to bite so hard when she throws a line however hurtful, just explain to your child that mummy got a bit mixed up and Daddy has not gone to prison ever, do it in a light manner not accusingly after all your ex is still your child's mother and as you can see has a lot of influence over her. Sorry no magic solution but just hold it together at least whilst your daughter is in your care blow your steam after and make sure your new family is not affected as well.
2007-01-16 16:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What she thinks is of no consequence; your daugher, on the other hand will remember mainly one thing: the one who put up the most fuss, the loudest, and that is likely to be the one she doesn't trust in the long run. Let your ex behave like a fool. Your daughter will remember that, and you will be remembered as the cool, logical, mature adult, while her mother has a temper tantrum on the kitchen floor. She can't prove you unfit with what you've got listed above; it's not that easy to declare someone unfit, The courts don't usually TRY to take kids away from their parents and will compromise to great lengths to accomodate both parents in a joint custody situation.
In a word, be a bigger man than your ex wife.
2007-01-17 00:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually she is acting quit normal for an ex. You couldn't get along when you were married why would you think things would be better now? You can either spend $10,000 to get her to back off a bit or you can kill her with kindness.
When your daughter brought up the jail bit, you should have said "no daddy has never been to jail" and dropped the subject and stopped drilling her about what mommy said. Keep the kid out of the adult crap.
2007-01-17 00:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to sit down and confront her about it. no confrontation, just talk. sit down, and ask her why she'd say that. if she denies it, and absolutely won't tell you that she had really said that, ask her why your daughter would lie to you about that, and if she says that your daughter has a wild imagination, ask where she'd get the crazy idea to get you two into a dispute over nothing.
obviously she is still holding a grudge against you, and the only way to stop it is to make amends with her. ask her what you can do to make her feel better towards you, since you have a child together you are going to continue talking and seeing eachother on a regular basis.
you just have to ask her what you can do to make it better, she needs to stop holding this grudge against you. she is anger ridden and ran out of excuses so started to lie about you to make herself feel better about losing you.
best of luck dear, you sound like a very good guy with his head on strait.
2007-01-17 00:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by Bitterly Sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good attorney and take this to family court.... Apply for some sort of custody.... This sounds like it is not good for your daughter at all.
2007-01-17 00:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She sounds bitter, I don't understand why if you two been divorced for so long. She needs help and most inportantly a life. You need to get your daughter away from her!
2007-01-17 01:05:15 · answer #6 · answered by Smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is mentally unstable and I'm sure it is affecting your daughter. It seems that you would be better off being her primary guardian. You can go to a website that shows peoples records and show her it isn't true, but what's next?
2007-01-17 00:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by shell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What she is doing to your daughter is not healthy...have you considered getting custody or taking her to court and see if they can help you?_
2007-01-17 00:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs help! I wouldn't blow it off, I would try to get her to see someone especially if it's affecting your daughter.
2007-01-17 00:34:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say you should try to get custody of your daughter. she is putting false ideas in her head that could damage her image of you.
2007-01-17 00:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋