my husband and i have been married for almost 2 years and we have a little boy that is 2 1/2... in the last few months to a year he has lost almost all interest in having sex w/ me... he doesn't look at porn and i know he would never cheat on me so what gives??? i have to practically beg him for a week straight before he finally gives in and has sex w/ me... it is really killing self esteem and anytime i try to talk to him about it he gets mad and makes me feel like i'm the bad guy for saying that he makes me feel bad???? help...
2007-01-16 15:49:58 · 14 answers · asked by Sarah D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are sure he is not cheating....................is he depressed? Has he lost interest in other areas of his life? Is he withdrawn from friends and activities he would normally enjoy? If not, IS there an area in his life that he feels he has betrayed you or feels some sort of guilt?
2007-01-16 15:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by MsCantBeWrong 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know and you didn't mention but I would guess that you are in your early or mid 20's ,,,, Young guys in this age bracket and older like 30 or 40 and beyond haven't the maturity to know what the word commitment means or what it entails especially if things or times start getting rough ,,,, It's usually I do until he doesn't want to any more and then he starts looking for greener pastures or be becomes introverted ,,,, They usually come to this conclusion one or two or even more children to late ,,,, They've finally figured out that they were in lust instead of love ,,,, The hard and plain fact of this situation is that you no longer command his interest ,,,, So he's become quiet and inattentive towards you ,,,, The next step might be that he's going to find reasons to be gone from home longer and or more often ,,,, This is just the nature of the beast so to speak and like I said allot of guys just don't have the maturity it takes to fully commit to a solid relationship ,,,, The only thing for it is to try to find something you can do to rekindle his interest in you ,,,, How successful you are depends on you own imagination ,,,,,
2007-01-17 00:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is under some stress, and maybe feeling trapped, and that you might be to him, to needy, keep your self busy for a while, don't push sex or anything on him, remain sweet, and tender to him, and always make sure that you are so busy, no time right now, and that all of your needs met, then he may question and wonder if he might be losing you, because, you seemed to change, and stop chasing him, and that your life is so much with stuff that he might just want to start the passion back with you.
Hang in there
2007-01-16 23:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, I hear you! My husband has never had a high sex drive, however, I'm now 7 months pregnant and we haven't had sex for the entire 7 months! He says he has no problem with my pregnant body and isn't worried about hurting the baby so I'd also like to know...what gives?! Hehe! I really hope you get some answers, but you may just need to accept his lack of sex drive and pleasure yourself and attempt to be intimate in other ways. Trust me, I understand it's difficult. Good luck!
2007-01-17 00:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by MrsTee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, this could be alot of things. men bottle up their feelings and nine times out of ten, they don't like to talk about them. Chances are, the hustle and bustle of everyday life has gotten to him and the two of you are stuck in a rut of daily routine. Rather than push the envelope and demanding those open hearted talks (men hate those), spice things back up. Go out, get a sitter, flirt with him and ignite the spark that was once there. It's only been two years...you've got alot of time ahead of you and now is the time you set the presidence for how your relationship is going to be. Make it fun again. Flirt a little, dress up for no reason. You are young...take it from an old housewife...."what it takes to keep a man, is often the same thing it took to get him".
2007-01-17 00:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some men, once they become fathers, view thier wives as mommies rather than intimate partners. Others get so stressed over the responsibility that it kills their libido. Others still cheat and are so darn good at it you'd never know.
You're just going to have to be gut level honest with him and tell him you deserve to know why he's closed himself off from you. In all likelihood, it will be something you 2 can work out.
2007-01-17 00:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, first realize ur husband has issues.. lol.. it could be depending on his age which u didnt mention that he is losing his sex drive which is common in men over 30.. they peak in their late teens and early 20's and then for alot of men NOT ALL but alot of men they start losing their desire for sex , they lose their stanima..or sometimes they have problems with achieving an errection.. so it could be alot of things.. it could be stress at work, health issues (if he doesnt eat right or get regular excercise it can cause alot of fatigue) or it could be a power trip.. some guys they like the fact of their woman begging for it...being on the end of the turning sex down etc..
My advice to u , is to gain some confidence in yourself even if its a false confidence (meaning u have to fake it) , go buy a new outfit, go get your nails done, do what ever it is u do that makes u feel better about urself..stop asking him for sex.. know its hard..but if u give him a bit of the cold shoulder, start walking around with an air of confidence .. and just actting like all is great and nothing bothers u.. he's going to take notice, he'll wonder why all the sudden ur not asking for sex... right now ur puddy in his hands.. he has u on the begging end.. and ur feeling like crap because of it.. thinking ur undesirable.. so ur probably becoming clingy in ways and definately insecure.. so flip the switch do the exact opposite of what ur doing now.. go out with ur friends to lunch .. go do something that will make u feel good, get dressed do u make up and hair.. feel like ur all that and a bag of chips and kinda ignore him in bed..start reading a steamy romance novel in bed instead of hugging up on him begging him to take u..
He'll either take notice of you , and be attracted to the confident woman u once were when u met and if he doesnt if he's still clueless atleast u'll feel alot better about urself at this point that ur not feeling like just a blob.. but i'd bet he'll take notice if u start doing the opposite of how ur being now..
All else fails.. u stop doing all wifely duties.. stop doing his laundry , stop cooking, stop cleaning his mess, stop whatever it is that u daily do for him, and let him know when he wants to start treating u like a wife and taking care of ur needs.. u'll start actting like a wife again..
Good luck..
2007-01-17 00:07:10 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Something is troubling him. Stop accusing him of making YOU feel bad and start making it about HIM. Show a little more concern about what might be troubling him to get to the root of the problem. Making him feel bad about you feeling bad isn't going to help solve the problem. It's only going to create another one, and it makes you look selfish at a time when he obviously needs your support and understanding.
2007-01-17 00:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't really want to give you any advice. I've got questions. Before you were married (when you were dating), how was he like as a boyfriend? Who did he hang out with (when he wasn't with you) It's stuff to think about. I don't want you to like stalk him or anything. You should try to talk to him (like bungee cord him to a chair, just kidding). If he still doesn't want to talk about it, maybe he is hiding something.
2007-01-17 00:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by darkhunterfan65 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ever think maybe he don't feel good about himself. Men as the same way women are in those aspects. Try touching him more durning the day maybe things will change you nag at him and it will not change. Men don't like a nag
2007-01-17 00:09:16 · answer #10 · answered by diana b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋