Married and having a baby but ready to leave.?

Question

I asked this question 5 months ago and everyone answered to me, to work things out, and stay with her. Here I go again. My wife of 3 years is alway mad, anger, and not happy with me. Everyone else loves me, my daughter, friends, coworkers, and anyone I have meet in life. I have never left a bad trail. Now 5 month later, I am buying a 700,000 house, bought her 2007 Maxima, and told her its time to stop working, But still today she is mad at me, like walking on eggshells, about every little thing. I don't drink, or do drugs, I work very hard at my own company and spend everyay with her and my little girl. This fighting has gone to long, and I really am thinking a leaving her, and living alone. Yes I will also be there for my boy, which she told me she would never let me see him if I leave. Should I stay or should I go?

Answer 1

I feel like a broken record saying this yet again, but communication is key here. That doesn't mean starting an arguement or being defensive or confrontational. Both you and your wife need to put pride on the back burner for a moment and really get to the heart of the matter. If you feel your wife is constantly attacking you, ask her why. What could you possibly have done to stir such ire in her? If there are anger issues in her, let her know that you're there to support any way she can work through these issues. The important thing is to get to the heart of the issue without assigning blame. Find the problem, isolate it and solve it. Encourage her to focus on the good times instead of intensifying the bad. If you can show her you're on her side, she may be willing to meet you halfway.

Answer 2

Try time out, find somewhere else to stay for a while family or friends. You need space to work out where this marriage is going. It is obviously not going to change whilst you are both under the same roof. Obviously your wife knows how you feel if not now is the time to tell her. Dont be manipulated by threats of not seeing your son as that is not going to get any where. Advise her that you are not ending the marriage but taking time out in order to save it. Pregnancy is obviously not the cause of her behaviour. There will be no good time to leave people are going to judge this based upon the presence of a pregnancy and then a newborn. Motherhood needs to be happy time ob she wont be happy with you around and perhaps you could put this to her and it may be a wake up call for her regarding the reality of her marriage. Since there has been no change over the last 5 months then it appears that she has chosen not to alter or amend her behaviour and why bother as there was no consequences for such, you stayed, life resumed on as normal and that is where the problem lies. For a reaction there needs to be an event, some sort of change . And you need to instigate this as it appears you are the one that is not happy. Timing I understand right now is fragile but you need to consider the option of time out in the best interst of everyone's future. Leaving temporarily with her in the house and you still financially responsible is going to look a whole lot better than you asking her to leave. Good luck

Answer 3

Been there (as the cranky wife). Listen......you probably ARE a good guy. Are there any family members which might be making your relationship stressful (on your wife)? Are you around enough? As annoying as your wife might be, plan for a day together (or night or weekend if you can). It's not the great house, the brand new car, or the perfect husband that will make your wife happy. Acknowledge what your wife does for the family. And, it's likely she needs to talk to someone about your current situation. A therapist hears you out without telling you're right (or wrong). Think she's up for a few therapy sessions? You might need the same thing, too. Try one more time before really calling it quits.

Answer 4

I don't know.................. I understand your point of view, that's for sure, but I'm wondering if you have ever spoken to your Wife over what she's always mad about??
A Spouse can only live with so much negativity from the "better half", and it's natural that you want to run away as fast as you can!

Don't give up! Ask to see her GYN and tell him/her of your concerns. If she is still pregnant, it can affect her moods which can be why she is so "touchy" toward you.
This, to me would explain her behavior, but, for you, that doesn't help your situation any!

Just do what you can. Talk to her family members, but most importantly her Dr. Being your Wife, she should be able to confide in you OF ALL PEOPLE in her life!
You deserve some answers!

The part you said about her threatening she would never let you see your Son.............. Don't fall for that, for 1 thing. She can't stop you from seeing your kids and for some reason many women like to USE this threat and it's cruel and very bad. Anyway, what kind of a thing is that to say to you, after all you do to support your family?

Get your Wife some Counseling is all I can say! If she doesn't change her attitude, you can find someone who will respect you, AND, as for your kids, the Law will always be behind you!!!!!!


I hope this helps!

Answer 5

After 5 months you still have the same problem then it is time to start thinking about a solution. For one thing she can NOT keep you from seeing your kids. I have seen parents accused of molesting their own kids get more visitations than they had before. Don't worry about that.If you have done all of these things for her and there are no other problems., then she should be extremely happy. I would love to have a beautiful 700,000 dollar home and be told I don't have to work. what a life that would be. I don't think she realizes what she has and how lucky she is. Tell her for me that she doesn't realize how many women are out there waiting for her to throw it all away so they can step in and take you away from it. Maybe she needs to hear this.

Answer 6

its so difficult when children are involved,she cant stop visits unless see can prove your an unfit father.you have only been married 5 months and if you are this unhappy now what will it be in three years?it sounds like you might need a good lawyer, since you have only been married 5 months shes not entitled to alimony, child support yes a percentage based on your income.as far as the house is it titled in both names if so you could be made to pay half the mortgage until the house is sold.be sure of your feelings and by no means stay together only for the sake of the child,you don't want your little one to grow up in a volatile angry environment

Answer 7

I think u should go.. now note i didnt say get a divorce, u obviously love her, even if things arent going as u thought they would.. but i think ur spoiled wife thats treating u like a door mat needs a wake up call and a reality check.. whats the old saying " u dont know what u have untill its gone" .. id give that a try before just deciding its completely done and over.. maybe if she gets a reality check, maybe she'll realize what shes doing..make her prove to u that she's going to change, that your worth wanting back.. if she doesnt care at all, well then u know where u stand , but after a few days im thinking she may take u serious and start realizing her happy home isnt so happy with out u in it..
I dont think she takes u seriously, i dont think she appreciates you, and i think ur probably one of those nice guys that lets their partner walk all over u and u've finally had enough.. but since ur already to the point of wanting to go.. i think u should give it a try to see if she does get scared straight so to speak..

Answer 8

GO! If you stay you will just continue to fight and it will be a terrible environment for a child to grow up in. I would much rather have separated parents than parents that fight all the time. It also puts the children in the middle of your arguments and they will blame themselves for your problems. It is better to leave and live a happy life where your kids see you happy and not stressed out. It will help you bond better with them and allow you to form better relationships in the long run. Think about your children here. They are what's most important, right? Do what is best for them and in this case it doesnt sound like staying is it!

Answer 9

I think that it is terrible that you find yourself in this situation, no longer being with the person you first fell in love with. If she is unhappy with everything that you do, I do beleive that it is time to leave her. Maybe a seperation might bring her back OR maybe this might just help you both realize that you are both unhappy. It appears that from your part you have tried to make it work out but there is only so much you can do, a marriage is a partnership so both of you have to be willing to make it workout. Also by her already threatening you to keep your son from you is extremely immature and selfish on her behalf. If you do decide to proceed with a seperation from her you can always get visitation rights for your children. What you do at the end is truly upto you but if you are finding yourself unhappy and she is also unhappy, you must ask yourself if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life. Do you want your children to grow up thinking that this is NORMAL?

Answer 10

i think maybe its time to leave but only u can no when its time to go buying a girl everything is not what see needs its love and all the little things as u have kids involed and fighting in front of them can make or break them if it is that bad maybe u both need to sort out what is going on u can still be a wonderful dad to u children if ur not there hope u find the answer ur looking for good luck and my thoughts are with u through this hard time