All comments welcome!
Ironic Blue
The blue sky, behind
the red chimney, behind
the leafless tree.
Layers of sorrow,
a picture of fear,
Incessently smoking,
Setting souls free,
tragically.
2007-01-16 15:05:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
good lines the first 3, but i don't find a cohesive connection between the images i receive as a group - they seem to be conflicting - somehow blue sky in the background, related to an image of fear and tragedy don't work together for me, although i get what you're trying to say. thas just my opinion. i would work on this some more - it has potential.
2007-01-20 05:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lines 1 through 3 are excellent. Lines 6 through 9 are OK. You need to work on lines 4 and 5.
2007-01-16 17:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anpadh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt write this poem, you colud make a photo of it :))
2007-01-17 04:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by Creep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice I like it
2007-01-16 17:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by rry_dvd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it.... very whimsical kinda but also very classical in a way...
2007-01-16 15:33:12 · answer #5 · answered by Audie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋