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Could you please review this poem? All sugestions are welcome!

Photograph's a State of Mind

Take a picture
of the past and
slip it in a frame
of mind
pull it out
when use is need
and history
repeats itself
again

2007-01-16 14:59:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities Books & Authors

4 answers

This one is clever and cerebral. I agree with the suggestions given by M.S.

2007-01-16 17:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 0 0

rhetorical poem (=

nice!! i think it works without the "when use is need" line if you're going for a groundhog day effect.

Take a picture
of the past
slip it in a frame
of mind
pull it out
in retrospect
history
repeats itself
again

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

ahhh ok M S,, i get the line now,, it thought the poem was referring to putting a past memory in the right frame of mind after we reflect, or see it in hindsight then we file it back. but then again its a "photographs" state of mind,, great poem to get people thinking (=

2007-01-16 15:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by bb 3 · 0 0

Try taking out the two "and"s to make it more concise.
Otherwise, nice poem.

I think the "use is need" line is actually quite clever, perhaps the most crucial part of the poem, because it seems to point out "we are never so smart that we can't gain knowledge to solve the 'impossible' problems by looking at solutions made in history".
Maybe "when use becomes need" would make the point more clear, if I am indeed right about the issue expressed in that line.
-------------------------
Ok, I see your edit now, the new line "in retrospect". Now it sounds more like looking at the past from a frame of mind/perspective that makes it gain value again.
Good job!
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2007-01-16 15:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by M S 5 · 0 0

That's really neat. Say "when use is needed" or "pull it out when time is still"

2007-01-16 15:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by QueryJ 4 · 0 0

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