Yes, my daughter tells me everything since my wife and I arent the kind of overacting parents. She's a teen and still needs a lot to learn about boys. But what is a father to advise in this situation?
2007-01-16 14:51:04 · 29 answers · asked by daydream♥believer 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He is a frind of my daughter's, he said so himself to her that he was gay. In fact, she is the only one who knows in her school.
2007-01-16 14:56:18 · update #1
He is a friend of my daughter's, he said so himself to her that he was gay. In fact, she is the only one who knows in her school.
2007-01-16 14:56:23 · update #2
Be frank with her. She is not going to "straighten" him out. The best she can do is be his friend. She won't want to hear this, but it will hurt less in the long run than if she is told to "keep trying" or anything else sugar-coated like that.
BTW, congrats with your open communication!
2007-01-16 14:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Vinny, you have nothing to worry about in this situation. It is wonderful that you raised such an open minded and accepting daughter. You should be proud of yourself. She will be just fine. She may hang around him for several reasons. One, she may really love him, but as a very special friend. And to be honest, if she is in high school that can be a very volatile place for gay teens. She may also be putting up a front for him so that he doesn't get alot of flack from those that could possibly hurt this kid for simply being gay. She is just being a very good friend, she is old enough to know that nothing will come of this. They are just close friends. Just keep the lines of communication open like your doing. If you want to take it a step further, offer to take the daughter and the boy to a PFLAG meeting. I will give you the website below. And you can check it out for yourself.
2007-01-16 23:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I presume that you want an honest answer.
Alot of girls fall in love with some types of gay boys very easily -- but for everyone's sake it needs to remain just friendship. It is no more fair for a girl to go after a gay boy than it is for a gay boy to go after a straight one. She knows he is gay, and she can only get hurt and hurt him if she tries to change him, cause there is no such thing as change. You are gay, you are straight, or you are bi. If she can bear it and cares about him then she should be his friend, all young people need friends - and that is what he already thinks he has in her.
Show her this if you think it is wise.
Regards,
Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2007-01-16 23:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth, the whole truth and don't water it down, even though she is young this is something she needs to learn about now, before she gets really bad. I;ve seen it happen and it ain't pretty a leopard can't change his spots he might try but he would end up dumping her or trying to let her live a lie. I'm not saying he
he might make a good friend but a sorry lover. It's worse to wonder if your man is with another man than to wonder if it another girl,hard to compete with the opposite sex. Tell her to stick to straight guys for love and use the gay ones for fashion!
2007-01-16 23:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
vinny: The real question therefore, is : Is the "gay guy" in love with your daughter ? If he is not, but is a friend of hers, the whole relationship will stay platonic not romantic. Let life become the teacher here, in this case. Obviously, for you to know he's "gay", she must of had told you - she then, is aware of this. Don't hold anything against this guy for not wanting to be your daughter's guy. She will learn valuable things from this lesson and I hope she doesn't become too hurt from this experience.
2007-01-16 23:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't go anywhere if he really is gay. I think your daughter will realize this though. I think you could try saying "it must be really hard having feelings for someone if they don't feel the same way back". That way she feels understood without you telling her how she should handle things. By the way, you should feel so proud of the job you're both doing that she would share something this personal with you.
2007-01-16 23:06:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say talk to her about her feelings about him, like if it's serious or not, whether or not she "dreams" he'll suddenly become straight, and other questions. Talk about it calmly and listen, just listen listen listen, and don't try to suggest advice or anything. Just talk it out, how she really feels. Don't confront her to do anything or confront this guy. Only tell your wife stuff. And then, every once and a while, bring it up with your daughter. Talk about it more, how YOU feel, until your daughter has everything explained out. To simply put it, you can't destract your daughter from him; teens sense this stuff and it'd be confusing to her. You also shouldn't try to interest her in other guys or lead him away from this one, it would cause more trouble. Just simply UNDERSTAND. Don't offer advice, don't talk. Just let this exist. Let's say your daughter is secretive about this stuff and never tells anyone. Her love, passion, and pain grow. If she talks to you about it often and tells the entire truth, it just exists and lingers, in some cases it may grow a pinch. But we DEFINETLY don't want it (the pain part) to grow and don't want it to decrease (?).
2007-01-16 22:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People fall in love all the time with others who don't feel the same way. What difference does it make if someone is hetereosexual or homosexual? If that person does not feel the same way, that's a fact, independent of gender or orientation.
2007-01-16 23:11:00 · answer #8 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea why we already know he's gay, but imagining that he is gay, well you need to tell her to get over it cause she is going no where with except for that guy being her best friend and telling her what looks best on her fashion wise. So please let her know she's not going to be able to change him or anything like that but a great friend, with ab-fab fashion sense she can have for sure.
*** funny how steriotypes work... just being sacrchastic .. shes young and she'll getover it as soon as he shares the first bit of nfo on a boy he likes or one that they both think is cute as hell
2007-01-16 23:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
step 1:first, make sure he is gay!
now u have two paths after step 1
path 1:let her be with guy, becasue hes not gay, make sure hes good.
path 2:he is gay, then, be an overacting parent and tell ur kid right from wrong.. seriously.. if hes gay wouldnt she know?..and if she did know wouldnt she know better than to be with a gay?....it wouldnt work.. i hope that helps..and im also a teen
2007-01-16 22:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by Rez 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋