Why do most people think that being introverted is a bad thing?

Question

I've come across many answers here where people use the term introverted as a "social handicap". I guess I just don't see it as such.

Why does everyone think that the best people in this world are extroverts? Why is being outgoing more acceptable and more attractive than being shy and personal? Is it today's American society? Does our media/entertainment industry have anything to do with this?

I'm just curious because I'm a very introverted person, but it doesn't mean I don't know how to interact with people. It just means, I would rather not. I'd like your input.

Thank you in advance.

The person who gives the best explanation, even if they disagree with me, will be awarded the ten points. :o)

Answer 1

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. This thinking/behavior towards introverts drives me insane.

Read this for a bit of inspiration.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Answer 2

i would say that i am more extroverted, but i would never say that being introverted is a bad thing, in fact i think that the answer really lies in balancing the too out.

what ive learned about these two phenomonos are that extroverted people focus more outward on other people and things and other environments, while introverts focus most of their attention inwards on themselves.

now niether one is bad and they both have their advantages and disadvantages but i believe that there are times when you should be extroverted rather than introverted, like when you are trying to understand what is happening around you. on the other side you may want to be more introverted than extroverted so that you can make sense of a chaotic world and find something inside yourself that is truely you.

an example i heard one time was when an extrovert gets into a car crash, their minds shut down and they sort of black out so to speak, they dont really understand what just happened, so they really dont have any thoughts as to what just happened, where for the introvert, the car crash happens almost in slow motion and they really get a sense of what happens.
How does this event effect each person? well the extrovert since he doesnt really remember what happened, has no problem getting into a car again and driving, where the introvert is somewhat shocked at what happened and is a little more carefull with the way they drive, while the extrovert really doesnt learn from their mistake and are more likly to make the same mistake.

there is absolutly nothing wrong with being an introverted person but i think you should try to balance that out by being extroverted at times. like i said, i am an extrovert but when i do my meditation i immedeately become introverted, to balance my extroversion.

try both.

Answer 3

You make a very good point about why people think introversion is a bad thing..After all the most brilliant minds have been introverts and alot of our scientific and mathematcal discoveries and inventions have been done by introverts.

I personally have no ill feeling towards introverts. In fact, for me i've always found that i've only dated introverted women. I thnk its because although they dont say much, when you get to know them and they open up they are much more interesting and more entertaining to be around than extroverts...

I use to be an introvert for half my life but now i am extrovert. And so from a person that has experienced them both i'd say both have their advantages. I'd highly recommend though to date someone who is extroverted so as to compliment your introvert side (like a half plus a half = a whole)...i am dating an introverted girl and its very stimulating and amazing. One of the things i love about her is her ability to have a new take and outlook that i never realized before...and i think its her introvert side because it reflects on things differently than say an extrovert would because extroverts can be more influenced by others that are around and so what comes out of extroverts mouths are more likely to be hackneyed and dull.

Answer 4

I think it's because extroverts are more liked in American culture. Pop culture glorifies the popular jock/cheerleader types who are social and have lots of friends. By contrast, introverted "nerds" are looked down on. America is a country that loves celebrity and beauty, and tends toward the superficial.

Being introverted is something of a social handicap, because introverted people tend to have more trouble in social situations. But it's all how you look at it. Whoever said that being extroverted or socially successful is better than the skills that come with being introverted? Extroverts and introverts both have their particular strengths and weaknesses. But because of the cultural prejudices in America, the strengths of the extrovert tend to be more highly rated. Accept that and learn to fight against the grain. (Which I think is easier for introverts to do anyway.)

Answer 5

I know what you're sayin...I am very much an introvert. I think because you are not as vocal as an extrovert, people might get the impression that you are a loner or are unsociable. Today, everyone is speakin out about the hottest topics and most of those people are extoverts. And i think that people look up to people who are more vocal and seem more passionate. I also think that people base you on your social skills. This might entail being loud. grabbing attention, etc. Being an introvert means that you choose not to be this way, which I feel is a good thing. I dont know how much this helps but thats all i got.

Answer 6

I guess it's only a "hanicap" for the introverted person. Let me explain- if you are introverted due to shyness, you're probably less likely to speak up for yourself in situations because you don't like confrontation.

I was quite introverted and didn't speak up for myself much. Now I'm a bit older and more experienced, I'm a lot more confident and can easily talk to anyone and correct situations that are affecting me personally or professionally.

I'm blabbing....

I guess I don't see it as a 'social handicap' because I've been there and I understand your reasoning. But I can understand how other people might view it that way- they just don't understand because they haven't experienced it.

I'm a naturally introverted person. I keep to myself a lot and would be more than happy to live by myself. But when I do interact with people, I have very good communication skills. I just choose not to talk very much.

Does that make sense..... ?

Answer 7

The reason that it is considered to be such a bad thing is the number of high profile cases of crimes (Columbine etc..) that have been committed by "introverted" people. I believe that is the effect of the media, in large part.

The biggest problem with being introverted is when it is taken to the extreme. Everyone needs to have a few people (I've heard at least 3 or 2, the number differs--but a few) that you can be intimate with. Not sexually intimate (though that is another story) but someone who you can talk to without reservation, someone you trust, that loves you and will be there for you when you are having a hard time. When you do no have these supports that you are entering "bad" territory. Because then, typically, is when people will make statements--that very often are harmful to themselves and others.

Being introverted in and of itself is not a bad thing-- there is nothing wrong with not liking to talk to everyone. But *everyone* needs a friend or two.

Answer 8

media has a definite role. all movies, music videos, etc show people partying and having a good time with OTHER PEOPLE. they think that it is more visually exciting and more fun to hear of. however, both qualities have their downsides and positives.

extroverts tend to be a bit more hyperactive. this makes them a hoot at a party because they are always moving, dancing, talking, and having a good time. happiness is contagious, so at a social gathering scene, they spread the joy aroung. BUT they can talk too much. they lose intrest, and they cant sit still long enough to have a good conversation.

this is where the introverts excell. because they are familiar with quiet, calm, and the power of listening, they are high quality friends. you can sit an tell them all your troubles, without them interjecting and voicing their opinions. they know when to keep quiet and offer the subtle hug of comfort. they are the best friends to have during tragedy because they will not leave you if the DJ put on their favorite song.

i happen to be a mixture of both. i like sit and listen, but i can hold my own on the dance floor.

from my years of interacting with all types of people, you have to be both to be a "social star." i am not one because i am a little too introverted and don't put myself out there with the crowds. being an extrovert makes you fun to be with at parties, but being an introvert makes you trustworthy.

Answer 9

I am an extrovert myself... I personally think it's because we, as people who like to be around people in general, don't understand why introverts would rather sit at home and watch a movie than go to a party like we would.

It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just hard for extroverted people to wrap there mind around. Okay... It's like going out and picking your own carrots from the farm rather than going to the grocery to simply buy them, all clean and packaged and everything. For some people, that seems appealing, for others, it's just weird.

Weird example, I know. =P

Answer 10

I am an introvert too, and am really looking forward to other people's answers to this. But I have been told many times, by friends and strangers, that quiet people are scary. I think it is because they don't know what is going on in our heads. I just think some extroverts are paranoid that we are plotting against them or something. I am just tired of people telling me that "It's the quiet ones that start shooting people." I have more fascinating things to think about when I am quiet than shooting idiots.

Answer 11

introverted are stereotyped as being snubbish, stuck up and a bore to be with. We know how to interact with other people, but we prefer our own company over socializing. Extroverts always complain that we are not friendly (which is so untrue). I personally get along with everybody even if they find me to be a little weird...oh well