It is impossible to talk with him. If I disagree with im, he goes ballistic and threatens me to kidnap my son. Or he takes it against my son, yelling at him. He says it is my fault and he tells my son that I have to be good to him or he will be mean to my son.
2007-01-16 14:21:23 · 28 answers · asked by jade 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call the police, get a court order
2007-01-16 14:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and your best is put your feet down and say I can't understand you when your acting this way. And get out of his way. Walk away and think about what your going to do. This is your family here on the line. You have to think how your going to live your life with this man if he countie to act like this . If you want your son future to be normal and healthily. You need to move on if. It hard but I did it and it been four and half year since I left him. I'm am glad I'm abuses free. The sad part is my son has the same problems because he lived to see and witness every abuse at home. He is getting the proper help and I'm being there for him. You have a choice . Is your life and your son. Chose soon.
2007-01-16 14:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, it sounds like you have half of the problem worked out, which is not letting your anger loose right away. What you need to do now is find a way to redirect it without letting fly at the nearest bystander. Myself, I use a punching bag. Yes, really! Not only do I let off steam, but I keep in shape because at least twice a week, I want to whale the tar out of that thing! As to the "not feeling angry in the first place" part: It helps to put things in perspective. Yes, people are idiots; they can't help it. That's how I look at it, and yes, I'm being an arrogant *****, but some of the mistakes I see people make every single day are enough to make a Zen master want to decapitate them. Unfortunately, that's against the law, so my advice is to take it one day at a time, and if possible, find a way to laugh at what makes you angry. I snicker all the time, and have even mastered keeping it to myself. Okay? And when it's too much, go find a punching bag and let loose. Best of luck to you.
2016-05-23 22:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is, plain and simple, abuse, and the kidnapping threats are criminal.
Contact your local abuse prevention center, and talk to a counselor there. There is no charge for their services. Work out a plan with the counselor, then follow it!
Don't give in - you don't want your son to become like your husband, do you?
Most likely they will tell you that your husband must either get into treatment or one of the two of you must leave the home, for your own protection or your sons, or both.
Good luck, and please let us know what happens.
2007-01-16 14:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing is first. If he strikes you, call 911. Don't hesitate.
Second, start to document things just in case you need to tell the police or a lawyer. Having written notes will go a long way when you can accurately give dates and times of events.
Third, when he starts to go ballistic, just drop the conversation and walk away. Don't push any buttons (not that you do it intentionally) and let it die down.
I'd start to talk to a lawyer, if I were you. Your husband is out of control, and there may be outside influences (drugs, alcohol, cheating, or other events) that are affecting his behavior. You need to start the proceedings in case you need to get out, or be protected.
Don't let yourself be a victim in this. There are plenty of women's groups for abused women. Get in touch with one quietly. Because if nothing else, your husband is threatening you with abuse, and that in itself is an abuse.
Be safe, and good luck to you.
2007-01-16 14:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by Garylian 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a classic abusive relationship. Get some counseling and try to gain some self respect for your sake and your son's sake.
Abuse is a cycle, with your current situation your son is learning all your husband's behaviors.....I would hope that you care enough about your child to want better for him.
2007-01-16 14:29:28 · answer #6 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your husband is an dangerous person! He needs professional help. It will be unhealthy for everyone involved, especially your son! You need to get out of the relationship and let your husband deal with his own problems. I don't think you want your son to grow up with emotional problems, he deserves better and so do you!
2007-01-16 14:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by sonee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to break your relationship, contact a lawyer, get a separation / divorce and a custody order regarding your son.
However, if you want to maintain your relationship (at least for your child's sake), give him a 3-day test. Do whatever he does, agree to all he says for about three days. He will understand his mistakes by then and ask your opinion and see your point of view soon. If he doesn't, better contact the lawyer.
2007-01-16 14:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by Sabya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from this guy!!! Go to a safe house!! Call up an
OB/Gyn (they have lists of safehouses--at least here in Cal.)
Call social services/call the police/ After you get away from
him (anywhere, hopefully don't let him know where you are.)
get a restraining order and if he continues, file a complaint
on him.
My daughter was almost killed by one of these type guys!
He won't change--start a new life somewhere else.
2007-01-16 14:38:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Putting the blame on you is classic.... and it is all part of HIS problem, ppl like him blame everyone but themselves, it is typical and dangerous..... the danger is that he may go past the boundries... he could start to HIT, if he hasn't already ?? Letting him put your son in the middle is part your problem tho, you need to protect your son from the uncertain emotional behavior of his father..... and NOW !!! find a womans shelter or club of clinic or call the abuse HOTLINE !!! think of what your child is learning from this man ????? and men like him are very dangerous !!!! seek help NOW !!!!!!! YOU can NOT help him, HE has to want to change and must face the fact he needs it ....... God bless
2007-01-16 14:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your hubby diabetic? Weird as it may sound, diabetes is a major contributer to dispicable behavior. Sudden rages of purple faced anger, "I'd just as soon kill you as look at you," is not uncommon. Hypoglycemia - low blood sugar - is the root of it all.
But, then again, he might just be a chronic ***... get away from him and protect your son.
If its diabetes.. it can be treated... and his anger will level out till he's a more tolerable person to live with.
2007-01-16 14:30:10 · answer #11 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋