One of the people that I work with is an uber PAM. This guy is a PAM to the extreme. He is only 23 and is planning to marry this girl whom he has been dating for... get this... four months!
I repeat: He has been dating a girl for four months and he is talking about proposing to her and buying her an expensive ring. What a tool!
What can I do to convince this guy that he is retarded for committing himself so early in his life (and so early in the relationship)? Yes, I know that it's ultimately his decision, but I feel that he is only setting himself up for disaster. *I* don't plan on getting married until I am in my 30s (and that's assuming I *do* decide to get married) and if I do, it's not going to be to a North American woman, that's for sure. This guy needs help and he ignored my e-mails about nomarriage.com and other related sites. Is he a hopeless cause?
2007-01-16 14:20:40 · 13 answers · asked by Evan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW, I don't go into work again until next week so I might keep this one open for a while.
2007-01-16 14:21:30 · update #1
The responses are just what I expected: "Mind your own business," "You're jealous," yada yada yada. That's why I don't come here for help as much as I used to... because the quality of the responses suck!
2007-01-16 14:38:12 · update #2
Thank you, dragonfire, for providing the only decent response thus far!
I am looking out for my co-worker. This obviously offends some people here. Tough $#!+
2007-01-16 14:40:07 · update #3
well consider you self a bit smarter than him..
but you should NEVER get married
there is simply no BENEFIT gained by doing so
you can still have kids ( if you want ) and you do not have to be married
and if it does not work out ( 55% plus of all marriage do not anyways ) you at least do not have any alimony to pay, just child support, but best of all you keep all your hard earned assets
something married men DON'T in a divorce..
now for your friend..
sorry to say..
it his life
let him screw it up ( he will.. )..
you can hang back and laugh at his misery from time to time as you 2 have beers from time to time when his divorce goes through.. and he has alimony and child support..and his career is gone as he must take some low paying service job due to him never achieving his dreams...
he can still be your Friend.. just who made a mistakes early on and will pay for the for the rest of his life..
and that will not affect your life one bit... as if you hold steady for your goals..
you will achieve them
2007-01-16 14:36:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I know you want to look out for him, but you have to know that nothing is prob going to change his mind. I know it might be hard for you, but maybe you can try to understand where he is coming from and be there for him. If things go bad for him, than you can be there for him than as well. Just do not do the whole " I told you so". Just because you don't see how it can work, does not make it wrong.
2007-01-16 14:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by carriec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry , I don't mean to sound rude, but why do you care what this guy does. It is none of your buisness. At my job, if I don't like what I'm hearing in the break room i just casually get up and leave. I don't want others telling me what to do in my life so I expect the same in return. He may really be happy about this and who are you to bring him down. Put yourself in his shoes. I have this thing I say, ITS NONE OF MY BUISNESS WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME. think about that one. I hope you decide to keep quiet for your own good, this could backfire on you.
2007-01-16 14:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are u so concerned about what he is doing?Just because u have sworn off women,does not mean he has to do the same.Maybe it won't work out but I'm sure it will be one of those life lessons.Ease up a little.
2007-01-16 14:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by AJ78 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so concerned about him getting married? You have made a decision to wait until your 30's (why I don't know). Also, can you tell me what is it about him or her that should stop them for marrying?
From you last comment sounds like he's not the one needing HELP!
2007-01-16 14:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by Victor H 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's none of your business.
If he wants to get married it's his business, not yours. He may have found his special someone, and it's not your right nor place to tell him how he should feel or what sort of schedule he should keep.
2007-01-16 14:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who died and made you God? It's not up to you, its none of your business. My grandfather met and married my grandma within a two month period. They will be celebrating their 65 wedding ann this sat.
2007-01-16 14:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by deb c 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is totally up to this guy and you should stay out of it... This really is not your business.... Are you jealous or something and it sounds like you want him..... Proposing is one thing and if he wants to ask her to marry him that is his business and HIS life.
2007-01-16 14:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
what make you think he is making a big mistake?because he only know her for 4 months,only God knows if it will work or not,i know you been concern,but if he don't want to listen to you let it go,he will have to see for himself.But a lot of marriages work,sometimes long or short time dating,just never know.
2007-01-16 14:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by hanagal 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you might have a slight crush on him....or some jealousy issues.
Why does it bother you so much what he does, even if you think it's a mistake...?
2007-01-16 14:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋