my daughter is 20 and her man is 30 and he has to come to my house to get a meal and he dont want to buy her a pair of under wear what do i do and he comes to my house after hours and my husband really dont like this happen i feel as i am in the middle when your kids dont want to listen
2007-01-16 14:18:45 · 9 answers · asked by BROKEN AND BEAUTFUL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PEOPLE ARE NORMALLY USING YOU WHEN THEY NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER YOU... EVERY TIME THEY COME AROUND THEY NEED SOMETHING THEY NEED SOMETHING ARE ALWAYS ASKING FOR SOMETHING...
2007-01-16 14:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by strawberry2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation you describe reflects a measure of tension. It seems that the person on the short end of this stick is you and the situations is getting the better of you. I would encourage you to pray for your family members, especially your husband. It is still normal for a husband to desire the well-being of his wife. Perhaps if you know how to approach your husband you might consider asking him to restore a sense of respect and order in your house. Is is wise for a husband to allow another man to come and go and eat as he pleases? I think it would be a message to the man and more so to your daughter that your home and her life is worth far more than this man may ever be. She is still young. This guy should be trying to establish his own house -- not living off you in yours. If you all decide to let him stay, he should contribute something else besides getting a free ride.
2007-01-16 22:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by SkeetFighter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes they are using you. note i said "they". your daughter AND her "man". any 30 year old male that can not take care of himself, doesnt need to be in a relationship with a 20 year old female. but that is another story. your daughter will figure that out on her own...but for your question:
you need to lay down the rules. he can only come to your house during the hours that you allow, he may not come and eat all of your food (he is not your son and you shouldnt support him as such, especially when it appears he doesnt even have a job). make sure that your daughter and her "man" know that you are very serious about this, and the next time it happens you will have to ask them both to leave.
my parents kicked me out of the house when i was 18...not because i was like this, or using them, but because of other issues...but i can tell you this. its a hard lesson in life when mom and dad arent giving you everything. when you have to work for what you've got, and have to pay your own way...you grow up fast. she is a woman now, its time for her to live up to that, and become more responsible. you will not always be there, you have to let her live her own life, even if it means making her leave. but she and her "man" dont respect you or your husband..thats obvious.
you need to make them realize that you arent going to put up with it. the sooner the better.
all the luck in the world x
2007-01-16 22:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by jeneric803 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter is old enough to date a 30 year old man she is old enough to be on her own , it is your house not hers, you and your husband make the rules, you are putting that man in front of your own husband, do something about it .
2007-01-16 22:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by christina3661@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did say HER man, right? So what's your question again? You need to let her and her "man" support themselves. They are both grown. Looks like you may have a history of supporting your grown daughter. And let me guess, she has at least one child that you help with also.
So back to your question. If you have to ask..........
2007-01-16 22:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by Victor H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your daughter and tell her how you feel but let her live her life and make her own decisisions with this guy... She may have to live and learn.
2007-01-16 22:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they arent married kick him out!!
2007-01-16 22:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you talking about?
2007-01-16 22:22:23 · answer #8 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they wont
2007-01-16 22:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by jwslover12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋