I've been dating a guy for almost 4 months now, and I feel like we're really starting to fall for each other. The problem is, he's 8 years older than me (I'm 22). He also doesn't have a college education, and in the past he made some stupid decisions about drunk driving which resulted in him not having a drivers license for the next 2 years. I am completely confident he has learned from his mistakes, and despite his lack of education, has held down a decent paying job for the last 7 years I believe. He treats me better than any boyfriend I have had in my life thus far. The problem is, if i tell my family about him, they will only pay attention to the bad facts. They will think I am settling, not thinking of my best interests...the guy won't make enough money...etc.... I don't know how I can let them know without having this be a constant battle. I've met a really great guy and want to be happy about it! help!
2007-01-16 13:24:17 · 22 answers · asked by Emma G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your 22 do what you want...Personally i wouldnt date a guy like that, but im not the one dating him....
2007-01-16 13:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are 22! What does your family have to do with your life.
Are you going to live your life according to what your family wants?
or
Are you going to live your own life?
It really is none of their business what you do.
but look deep into you soul. do you really love this man,
or
do you just love the idea that you have a currently happy and working relationship. does this man live his life with integrity.
can; do you trust him fully?
age should no be a factor. formal education and earning lots of money is not an indicator that a person is a good trustworthy person. willingness to work at your relationship and respecting you, supporting you is everything. trust and honesty is worth everything.
if you can offer this to each other you will have a good life.
If you cannot better stay single until you find someone that you can. nothing is worse than being in a bad, wrong relationship.
good luck
good luck
2007-01-16 13:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are 22 and don't need your families permission to be with someone. Second, before informing of any bad qualities (if you even decide to tell them, it's not like it's mandatory or anything), sell them on the good ones. He's dependable and consistent since he's held a job for the past seven years. If he treats you as well as you state then tell the family that as well. Third thing, YOU ARE 22 AND DO NOT NEED YOUR FAMILIES APPROVAL.
Good luck.
2007-01-16 13:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's completely normal for your parents to think like that. They want you to be happy and have good life. For myself, education is important because with that you can have good job and salary of course. Maybe your parents think that if he doesnt have a college education, he may have decent paying job but his salary not as good as if he has college education. His salary maybe enough for him now, but when he marry you and have children, it may not be enough. Maybe you can try asking him to continue his college education. Either you and your parents know him only 4 months. We cant decide a person's personality in just 4 months. Prove to your parents that your bf is not as bad as what they think he is. It may take months maybe years, but I think if u love him, u can do it. With the time passed by, you can see his real personality more clearly, then you can decide what's the best for your life.
2007-01-16 14:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by stardust 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent we always feel that we have to protect our children, I have found that sometimes that's not what we should do. But saying that, I think you should sit down and talk to your mother or Father(which ever one you feel more a ease with) And let them know that you appreciate them looking out for you, but there comes a time that I have to make my own choices, and this is one I feel very strong about, and hope that you can support me with it. and let them know that you are greatful that you have always been there for me. I would like that to continue, If this does not work out it will be a lesson I have learned. If it does work out I want you both there with me. Because I love you both. And don't give too much info about him,
2007-01-16 13:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They pay attention to the bad facts cos they fear u will have to support and hold him instead of growing for yourself.
My reantalz do the same thing. But you know if he can prove by being himself that he is able to care and love his girl and not steer ur from the right track theyll come around- with time.
The other thing is. i know we hate to say it but our parents have had alot more knowledge and experience that they may possibly never tell us about. They could possible have experienced enough to be able just to judge him on character/personality not by his mistakes.
goodluck, stay in control!
2007-01-16 13:29:42 · answer #6 · answered by emalie_rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family doesn't need to know all about his past. Just give them the pertinent details - he treats you well, he has a paying job, and you really care about each other. Why ruin their first impression by filling them in on all his negative qualities right off the bat?
2007-01-16 13:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by katiecorolla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your 22, it's not your parent's decision. This is your life, follow your heart. I met my wife when I was 31 and she was 20, we are still very happily married after 14 years, with very similar circumstances.
2007-01-16 13:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the details, you haven't mentioned him to your family yet! Has your family even met your boyfriend? Maybe you should start with assigning sometime for your boyfriend to chat with your family and get the facts straight. Maybe your prediction of what will happen will get a sudden shock of irony when it actually happens. Good luck!
2007-01-16 13:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jell-O = ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me personally i feel like you are not dating your family , you are dating your boyfriend. Despite the opinion of your family " respect them" but at the same time go for what you want , or know you love that man then be with that man do what makes you happy. not your family. So be happy.
2007-01-16 13:46:22 · answer #10 · answered by miss2thug 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there for your family to know? You aren't considering marriage after four months I'm sure, right? Just take him to the next family shindig and say, "Family, meet Mr. Right now. We're dating." After that let him defend his own life.
2007-01-16 13:31:16 · answer #11 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋