My friend just told me that her husband had an affair!! I feel sooo bad for her. I want to help her. What do I do in a situation like this? How can I help her? She says I can move into her house with her, if she keeps the house. Is that I good idea? I would help her w/ the mortgage payments. I am looking to move out anyways. Is this a good idea?
2007-01-16 13:08:36 · 10 answers · asked by sabrescraze 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wait a minute, let the dust settle first----way too soon for these ideas---she wants and needs too much before you two become roomies. Nice of you to be a caring friend but sittiing around and becoming a man hater is not good for either of you. You need to get along with your life and let her get on with hers....for as long as it takes. What happens if you or her meet a man and she or you move out-or whatever? her issues are hers and the solutions may not be the very best in the long run. Just keep your cool and your distance---and do not move in until EVERY detail is discussed and agreed upon IN WRITING.....it will save a lot of trouble in the future. As a woman, you can feel all you want---the issues and problems they had are private and none of your concern. Your suggestions may be all wrong---go about your day and mind your own business. Good luck to you
2007-01-16 13:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most you can do for her at this time is just simply be supportive - by lending a ear or sounding board.
Wait until the smoke clears in regard to the move- in.
They just as likely could reconcile as not .... and then where would that leave you?
If and when you see that the dude will not be returning and you both feel this would be something workable for both of you ... then totally talk thru what the arrangements would be, put it all in writing and proceed with caution still.
Best wishes to you all!
2007-01-16 21:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is a good idea. She needs support and help especially in her most vulnerable of times. She is broken and probably feeling like she has no worth to anyone. You moving in will counteract this thought process. You shouldn't stay forever because she doesn't need to become dependent on you for support. It is also a dangerous situation because she could start a self-destructive chain of action. You need to be there to monitor her in case something does occur.
2007-01-16 21:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't jump too soon into this. He might schmooze his way into staying. I have seen it happen too many times. Who knows, maybe he really did make a mistake, and will never do that again. If one of them actually files for divorce, jump on the chance to live in a house and help pay the mortgage. It would help her financially and emotionally, and it would be great for you to not be tied to a lease. Good luck!
2007-01-16 21:14:31 · answer #4 · answered by sfb_wolfpack_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pack your bags yet. Wait!!!! MYOB...that means mind your own business. Let them work it out for a while before you get sucked into their problems. Listen, lend a shoulder to cry on, but don't start making judgements or saying anything you'll regret. After all....she's still married to the guy and it could be back on at anytime. Godloveya.
2007-01-16 21:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold off for a little bit to see if they reconcill or not before deciding about moving in with her.. Just try and listen to her and be a shoulder to cry on. good luck.
2007-01-16 21:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely wait and see how things pan out with your friend and her husband - you don't want to be out in the cold if they get back together. If it is so that they are going to get a divorce, go for it if it works for you.
2007-01-16 21:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there emotionally for your friend, but getting involved financially might ruin the friendship. I know you are trying to be nice, but I wouldn't tie the two of you financially together.
2007-01-16 21:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by bluechick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it is a strong friendship then go for it she may need the support of a good friend but be carefull i had a friend move in with me and it ruined our friendship cos she was jealous how well i got on with her man but it was purely platonic
BE CAREFULL
2007-01-16 21:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by mothermayc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case you should wait to see what it is that she needs from you. All you need to do is tell her that you are there for her. If she wants you to move in, she'll tell you when she's ready.
2007-01-16 21:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by sherockstn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋