My family was very happy for nearly 15 years. 2 months ago, my husband betrayed me and dated with another woman. When I knew this, he decided to go with her, despite we have a happy family with very cute boy. I agreed with his decision, but I still grieve when he express his passion feeling with his new love. His lover told her husband about this thing last night, and now he want 4 of us sit together to say what we think. But for me, I discussed many times to my husband about my feeling and decision. I am trying all of my best to heal my pain. I don't want to see them happy together because it make me feel hurt againt. Am I right? Is he selfish for never consider my feeling at all. How should I do? Will they be happy? Will I be happy?
2007-01-16 12:49:12 · 10 answers · asked by MIB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
is he nuts? he wants the four of you to sit and what? have tea and crumpets? if he's with someone else so be it but don't rub salt in the wound by doing this, stand up for yourself and your feelings and tell him to bug off.
2007-01-16 12:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not sit down with him and his other women. I would tell him that he needs to take your feelings into account. Give you some time to heal... Two months and he is wanting you to sit down and talk (in front of strangers) about your feelings... Um can You say NO....
You may have a little boy but that would be it.
Hun who cares if they are happy.... You need to put you and your sons happiness above there's.. Don't you think you would find it a bit odd if your parents split up and then out of no where your dad brings some other women over (with her husband) and every one sits down to talk.... Talk about what? How screwed up your life has been feeling seeming as he didn't find your vows important enough to keep.. after 15 years.... OMG I would give you a hug wright now.
With all seriousness you need to take some time to your self. Put your thoughts in order and figure out where your going to go now.. I am so sorry..
I am sorry if I sound a little upset I just hate how some people don't ever think about how the ones they hurt feel.
Yes he sounds very selfish.
2007-01-16 21:03:56 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You husband is about as selfish as they come. You are not wrong for hoping his new relationship isn't happy. That's human nature.
If you don't feel like sitting down and talking about this, don't do it. You shouldn't have to be put through any more garbage. You've suffered long enough.
There's a chance they will be happy. But there's a bigger chance that one or the other will stray again.
Just try to be strong for your little boy and if his daddy is a good daddy, encourage a good relationship between them. Your son is an innocent victim of his daddy's selfishness.
You seem to be really strong and know what you want. Don't let others push you around. You're working on your healing and I'm sure you will find happiness. Good luck to you and your son.
2007-01-16 20:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the one being selfish, he is. He is not, nor has ever, taken your feelings into consideration over this. He is ignorant to think that you would want to sit down with him and his new affair and to try and make what he did to you and your child okay. He should be keeping her on the down low for now and not expressing his feelings to you about her to you. Please don't feel hurt, sounds to me like you just freed yourself of the garbage. You continue to work on your own healing and take care of your son. I am sure he is confused over the situation also. The two of you come first. Focus on that and your son and you will heal just fine and yes you will find happiness again before you know it. Believe that you deserve better than what you had and you will find it. He on the other hand will pay for what he did to you and your son. It will come back to bite him in the end. No one I have ever known who has done what he did has gotten away with it, karma is always something you can count on.
2007-01-16 21:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I'm sorry 2 hear bot your pain. Yes I think ur husband & his lover are very selfish people who are only thinking about themself I think you should only do what you want to do if you do not want to sit and chat with your incorsiderit husband and his lover than don't. You don't even have to explain your reason why your not . I know you will have to keep contact with your husband for your sons sake. It's a pity your husband couldn't keep his wedding vows and it's even sader that he and his lover are happy to hurt everybody concerened espically your son so they can be togrther. I hope your pain fades fast and just keep telling yourself that you deserve a man who will treat you with respect. Best of luck.
2007-01-16 21:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by reg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not comfortable sharing my opinions with someone from another culture. What I think and how I feel may be completely different from the way you were raised.
Having said that...
If it were me, I would pack his belongings and send him on his way. I'm not sitting down with the family and discussing this. He cheated on me. That's all. It's over. I'm going to find a lawyer and request child support.
2007-01-16 20:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what your heart tells you to do. If you want to share the truth about how you feel, do that. If you do not want to be in the room with these people, you do not need to.
My step mum gave me the very best advice about my father. (My father is a very destructive person who called all my family members to tell them to not come to my upcoming wedding.) She told me that whenever thoughts of my Dad entered my mind, send him love and wish him well.
Do that with your ex. Whatever happens, send him love. Preserve your very sweet, sweet spirit...
I cannot tell you what to do but for me, if someone cheats, it's over.
2007-01-16 21:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by mickeymouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is really a selfish , but you can give a last chance to your marriage life.. please sit with them and discuss atleast for your child's sake.. he really needs both parents.. if it does not work out please dont worry ... immediately shift to some other place. join some mind refreshing classes.. or find your suitable job.. be with your parents or friends for some time.. ALWAYS ENGAGE YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING...join yoga class.
it will defintely change your mind and pain in the long run.. be in contact with your good friends who will be always encouraging.
you will def find your true love.. be happy.. you should live happily with everything you missed now before your husband.. challenge yourself.
2007-01-16 21:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by aki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His rush feeling with this woman will dye out soon and then he will be able to see if he really loves her. But at that point why would you want him back?
2007-01-16 20:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do meet as a group, and at that time, speak your heart. If, in your heart you're against it, say so, and say why. Express all your feeling about the matter, it's the best time to share the truth (for what it's worth).
2007-01-16 20:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋