When I was in high school I dated this guy for 1 year. I broke it off back then and moved on. For some reason I have not been able to forget about him and regret what I did, by breaking it off. I have been married for 2 years now and that was over 5 years ago. Why am I so in love with him still and how do move on completely? It has effected my marriage to the point of almost divorce. Do I break it off with my husband because my strong feelings for somebody else? I just want to be happy and be "in love." I am so confused...please help!
2007-01-16 12:41:14 · 16 answers · asked by LizzyCat777 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It may not be the actually person but something he represents in your life at that time that you are having a hard time letting go of. I wonder if you were to see this guy today, if you would still feel as strong.......
2007-01-16 12:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you are married. Remember why you married your husband. Did you think you were in love and now 2 years down the road you don't feel the same? No marriage is perfect. Everyone has a few bumps in the road. Has your marriage reached the stage where you are more than comfortable with each other and you just don't feel that spark or is there more to it? You are not alone when it comes to thinking of past relationships. It's easy to look back and wonder what would have happened had you chose differently, but put yourself in your husbands shoes. How would you feel if he had a past with an ex that he still carried a torch for? If you truly do not love your husband then maybe you should sit down and talk with each other about where you both need to go from this point on. Communication is very important and if you don't want to be with him then do both of yourselves a favor by not lingering on to something that you do not want. But by all means don't throw it away for an old flame that you didn't completely let go of. Remember why you broke it off with him all those years ago. Remember why you took vows to be a wife to your husband. Don't let old memories mess with your judgement.
2007-01-16 21:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by alymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you willing to throw away a 2 year marriage on a guy you don't even know anymore? When you were in high school there were fewer stresses and life was simpler. Perhaps you miss the easy, carefree days of high school. Try to put this guy out of your mind. You only knew him a year, during high school. He's a different person now.
Get counseling with your husband and perhaps you can rekindle the feelings that prompted you to get married in the first place.
2007-01-16 20:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! I've been in the exact same situation as you. I was totally in luv with this guy, and he was the same totally in luv with me. But soon, he made be fell of my chair and broke my neck, so I decided to break off with him. I don't know why do I still think of him. I've tried to like other boys and have other crushes, but they just can't make me forget the guy i broke off. But I'm not married yet....
I think if he's your husband, he should know 'Omg, my wife's in luv with this other guy' And he should know that you are forcing yourself into loving your husband just to forget about your old boyfriend. If he knows that, he should be doing something to make you truly in love with him. That's what your husband should be doing. If he doesn't even know that, then I'm sorry, he's not a good husband.
2007-01-16 20:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by emo_chik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lizzy,
A lot of these people mean well but unless they have been where you are, they should not offer suggestions. I know just how you feel. I have been in the same situation for 30 years now. Poets write about it and singers sing about it. Barry Manilow, Moody Blues. We know what it is like. If you want to talk, write to me. Maybe we can help each other. The short answer to your question is that for me anyway, it didn't get better but I have learned to live with the pain. First question: Do you have children?
2007-01-16 23:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by Bill G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait...You still feel in love with someone who is not supporting you for marriage, your life, your happiness? Wake up sis. Don't make your judgement by feelings that should be put in the past. You might regret but you know, the past is belongs to the past. What are you going to explain to your husband? to your kids (if you have any), to your husband's family? to your own family? friends? if you leave him and then found out later that your "EX-lover" totally kick you out from his life?
Be responsible, don't be so childish. What do you think that your husband deserve this if you leave him for something called regrets? Why you want to destroy your own marriage after all what your husband did to you? He might have the same feeling with his "ex-girlfriend" but I think he is more sensible but not respond to this feeling.
To be in love is something else. To love someone is another thing. Living a loving life is to sacrifice. You sacrificed your singleness for a higher calling named marriage and why then you want to sacrifice it for something unsure? Doesn't one bird in hand is worth more than two birds in the bush? Think twice!
2007-01-16 21:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you something, why did you married him? That was your first mistake, married someone you don't love. I don't think is good for you to be with this person if you don't love him, unfortunately you will hurt him deeply but there is nothing you can do about it. Now you need to be honest with him and tell him that you confuse your feelings for him, you care for him but that you are not in love, but don't ever tell him about the other person, because you will really hurt him by telling him that.
And for last, how sure you are that the other guy is waiting for you? what if he is married? Do you think is worth it for you to do this? Are you really sure about your feelings? Think about it first before doing something that you can regret one day, maybe this is the guy for you.
Good luck!
: o )
2007-01-16 20:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are chasing a ghost in your mind.
You broke it off and now you are beating yourself with the what ifs.
It is in the past and needs to be left there. The person you knew is long gone and they are a different person now.
Work on things with your husband and you will come out of the stronger then you went in.
Good Luck
2007-01-16 20:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your husband, or do you love this other guy? You've got to decide. Remember if you do love the other guy it's not fair to your husband and you'd be doing right by letting him (your husband) move on. But be careful you might love your husband more than you think you do.
2007-01-16 20:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by Amber- Colton's Mommy! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's important to you, your present marriage or past lost love? Do you know where your past boyfriend is? Does he feel like you do? Hope these types of questions help to lift the confusion.
2007-01-16 20:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Thorium 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋