for not wanting my gf's kids to sleep with us?? I know they are her flesh and blood and still young and all that, but I want to sleep with my woman ALONE!!!
2007-01-16 11:31:40 · 15 answers · asked by donnie b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you're not wrong. You sound normal and healthy.
I'd be concerned about your g/f though. I don't think that's normal. I think that's needy on the part of an adult who would foster that kind of dependence.
The only time I can see sleeping with a child near is a newborn who is breastfeeding. Then it makes a lot of sense. When the kid wakes up, you just feed it and go back to sleep. Even for that, I would put a crib right up next to the bed and keep the kid out of the bed.
It's also normal to keep a kid in your bed for 10 or 15 minutes to help them calm down after a nightmare but you move them off to their own bed when they are ready.
But I noticed the "s" on kids which implies that there's more than one of them in your bed. That's kinda creepy in my view.
But you'd best keep in mind that there are people who really feel strongly that the whole family should sleep together in one bed. I think that's weird and I wouldn't do it. To me, this would be a deal breaker. If she wants to do that, I wouldn't sleep in the same bed with her.
Also, consider this... what if one of those kids says you put your hand down his or her pants while in bed? And that accusation can come any time between now and 20 years from now. Guess what? I don't care what actually happened, you're guilty and your life is over. And you could end up in jail for it. And you could end up a registered sex offender for it. And you don't have to do anything wrong. The kid just has to want to get even with you or suffer some confusion of some sort and then you're totally f--ked.
I would not expose myself to this kind of liability. You throw those kids out of your bed and never let them back in with you. This is creepy. And if the g/f won't go for it, she's creepy. Find another g/f. Deal breaker, buddy.
You're not wrong.
2007-01-16 12:14:50 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid to tell you that both of my boys slept with my husband and I at one point in there lives. But they are his kids I'm not sure if that should make a difference or not. I am not sure if I would have been willing to stop if he had asked that of me. I can say how ever after the fact that it did bother him that he didn't have just me in bed at night. He never said any thing because he new how I felt about it. I am a mother and a wife he new it wouldn't last forever. So he put my feelings before his own. I am very thank-full for this.
Look at it this way....how many teens do you see sleeping with there parents? My point is that it will not last forever. If you love her don't try and make her feel bad..support her..Love her...
If its her time you need then let her know. She may put some time in for just you..
2007-01-16 19:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are definitely not wrong. Her children should be sleeping in their own beds. It is very wrong of her to allow such a thing and l feel it is very unhealthy for her children. If they had a bad dream or something like that and were scared that's a different story but to allow it all the time is very wrong.
2007-01-16 20:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that your feelings are wrong, but you have to consider her feelings too. You need to let her know that it bothers you, and then suggest a comprimise - like the kids can only sleep with you guys every other night. Then slowly, you can wean the kids out of your bed, and wean your gf off of the basic maternal need to be with her children every second of the day!
Good Luck!
2007-01-16 19:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by Spare + a Pair 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No. Kids should sleep in their own beds. It's a time for sleep not a party
2007-01-16 19:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes kids will get into their parents beds when they're afraid but the parents shouldn't really allow them to make it a habit of getting in their bed. Just try to talk to her about it and be careful how you say things so she doesn't take it in the wrong ways. After all that's her little babies. ;o) good luck to you.
2007-01-16 19:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Then get married. You have no right to be sleeping with some woman in her bed in front of her kids.
2007-01-16 19:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are not wrong. Children need to learn independence and that starts with sleeping and waking in their own beds!!
2007-01-16 19:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should not be sleeping with men in view of her children. Either marry her or get out, those kids will be confused.
2007-01-16 19:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The kids need to be in their own bed. Those boundaries need to be set now.
2007-01-16 19:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by asreid14 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋