Okay, I love this guy, and he loves me, but when he told his aunt(pratically his mom) and showed her a picture of me, she said that he would either have to find a skinnier girl, or that i'd have to lose weight to be with him, And that his whole family is small, and that he is supposed to keep it that way. I asked him, what he would do in this situation, and he said that he would do whatever it took to make my family happy. And i dont think like that, the way i see it, im going to be the same person, no matter what i look like, take it or leave it. but i dont know what to do. Should i change for him? or not? and if so... any suggestions?
2007-01-16 11:26:45 · 3 answers · asked by xbilbiex 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You're boyfriend is not the one complaining about your weight, its his aunt. The crazy thing is your not in a relationship with his aunt. It seems to me that this woman is pretty shallow and she hasn't met you yet to judge your personailty, which is the true judge of a character. I mean why would your boyfriend want to date some mean skinny girl, thats why he has you. If your unsatisfied with your weight I would diet, but only for you! Ask your boyfriend to go to lunch with you and his aunt. Show her what a good person you are and maybe she'll change her mind. Wear a sophistcated outfit, make sure to address all of your positive personailty traits, how much you love to work, hobbies, and how important family is to you(it seems very very important to her to remain close to hers'). If she still is obsessed with the idea that your "overweight" and can't look past that I would suggest confronting her (in a peaceful manner). She just wants her family to remain close. Stating that the family is small and needs to stay that way seems like she is a little worried her relationship with him will drift apart. Make it a point to see her with your guy and this should comfort her that he isn't going anywhere just because he has a potential soul mate. Also allow for one on one time with his aunt and including her in some of your life together. Ask your man to mention you more often about how he feels about your personaility traits not just your looks. Family is evidentally important to her, and it will be the key to save your relationship making her part of your family. Go the extra mile to sway her and it will save you a lot of greif in the long run.
2007-01-16 12:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by KT! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write to Dr Phil
He loves these type of problems
2007-01-16 19:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it all depends on how important he is to you. do you really want to make yourself over just to please a man's family. you are with him not his family. i don't allow family members to have a say in who i am dating and you should not have to lose weight to please his family if you want to lose weight do it to please yourself not a man or his family
2007-01-16 19:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋