joe is my bf's son from his 1st marrage.the problem is joe wants consent one on one attention from my bf when he comes to our house,he even has to sleep with joe.joe is fine if he has a freind over to play with but if its just us he makes his dad feel guilty for spending any time with me.his dad can spend 9 hrs straight playing with him(which he does all the time) and then want to sit and talk to me for 15 mins and his son has a fit.he says things like "its my day to be with you i don't like this" i understand this is their "special time" but joe gets to be with dad every other day and weekend and 90% of the time he has his dads full attention. i also join in on games too.i believe the problem in part maybe my bf's exwife.she is very bitter and resentful of the divorce(even after 7yrs,he )and talks badly infront of joe about us.also she consently throws in my bfs face how he abandoned his family.my bf being a good dad feels guilty and gives into joes every wish thus spoiling joe badly.
2007-01-16 11:06:28 · 6 answers · asked by cathy8lucia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i don't think its about the divorce.my bf has been divorced since joe was a baby and i met his dad 7 mons after he left his wife when joe was 18 mons.so this life is all joe has ever known
2007-01-16 11:08:01 · update #1
Think carefully about marrying this man! Wait until you have your own kids and Joe is a teenager it will just get worse. If you are really commited to make it work your BF needs to get the boy into counciling and he needs to speak to the kid and tell him that he loves him but he also loves you and you are going to be a part of his life too. If it were me knowing what I know now I would run in the other direction and find a man without baggage-there are plenty out there.
2007-01-16 11:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's time the dad tells the 8yr old that not only does and will he spend time with the kid, but you as adults have to have some "adult" time to talk about things, and when the adult time is over then there will be more time for the dad to spend with the kid. Dad is the adult here and suppose to be in charge. It is time he does so. If he doesnt do it now, I would imagine he will continue having problem as the kid gets older. The kid is doing whatever he can to get the attention from his dad and he is being nothing more than a spoiled brat. The kid needs to be made to understand that just because his dad and you spen some time together doesnt mean his dad doesnt love him.
2007-01-16 11:16:03 · answer #2 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my stepson and it ended up that he stopped coming for visitation and now at 19 has nothing to do with us. Please go get counseling for the entire family (you, bf and joe). You can't undo what the mother is doing or saying trust me I've tried but perhaps a counselor can help the situation. It isn't worth losing the child.
2007-01-16 11:12:16 · answer #3 · answered by Suzilicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like dad needs to set some ground rules about when and where he is giving his attention and stick to it. the guilt can only last so long. let dad know how you feel, what you have seen in joe and what you feel needs to be done, and let dad handle it from there.
2007-01-16 11:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by bmoline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the little brat to NOCK IT OFF!!
Then go on w/ ur life.
2007-01-16 11:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by Hi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting a taste of what it will be like when you get married!!!!!!!!!!
You need to think about this!!!!!!!
2007-01-16 11:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by purpleone726 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋