I found out something about my wife?

Question

we have been married for about 2 years been togeather for about 6. My sister sat down and told me something over the weekend about her. Right before she meet me she was in a couple of porno movies, not with just 1 guy and 1 girl, she was having sex with 2 men. I dont know what to do, she did not really talked about her past i told her thats fine if you dont. I did not know it was like this? She did bring in quite of bit of money, she had a 100k for a downpayment on our house. just confused should i approach her

Answer 1

No, the past is just that--the past. What her life was like before she met you is not of any concern to you. If she is fine now and there are no problems just drop it. I'm sure you've done your share of stupid stuff, and I'm also sure she regrets it. If you cherish your marriage and love your wife, don't bring it up. It will only embarass you. Shame on her sister for being spiteful. The only time a sister will reveal that is to either get back at her sister for some type of revenge or out of jealousy that she is married to a man like you. Don't bring up the past. What's the point? What will that achieve? It would only forster mistrust on both parts, and on her part an unwillingness to tell you other things she might keep secret when she's ready. I'm sure at some point, when she feels you won't judge her, she will tell you. Until then, leave it be.

Answer 2

Your wife should have told you something like that. This isn't something small. Should she have told you about every single guy she kissed? No. Any pornos she might have been in? Uh, yeah. If I had previously been a drug dealer, mafia hitman, State Senator or porn star my wife should have known that before she married me so her decisions could be informed.

Look, once you marry someone you marry their past too. If you didn't know about REALLY big skeletons in their closet you can make the argument that they hid who they were from you to some extent.

I am not saying you shouldn't try to work this out - you should. You should also ask her if there is ANYTHING else you need to know, because if there is, you need to find out now.

btw you wouldn't make 100K from just a couple of porno movies. Maybe that's all your sister knows about. There is more to this story for sure...

Answer 3

Look the past is the past but this is big it,s like you marry someone and they say by the way I killed two women she is wrong for not telling him do you want to marry a porn star I can see it now hey mom I want you to meet Bambi we just got married So Bambi what do you do well I have sex different men, women and small farm animales well that,s great wake up that is not the real world he had every right to know about that now if it was just about who she sleept with or how many people that is not his business this is why a lot of people get divorced because one person did not tell the other about there past think about it.

Answer 4

The only reason why i would tell you to worry about this is if she is still doing this behind your back. If she is not bringing home extra money that you don't know where she is getting it from, and you pretty much know where she is all the time than don't trip out about it. im sure this was just something she did for the money before you two got together or maybe is was just being experimental.
let me ask you a question, if before you and your wife were together, you were asked to have sex with two beautiful women at one time would you have done it? what if they offered you a bunch of cash to do so?
let this go. if she is a good wife to you and you are happy in your relationship than that is all that matters.

Answer 5

I think you are shocked and now surprised that you didn't see this part of her character (since it was a secret). Part of your amazement is that you didn't pick up on her character to begin with (maybe you think there should have been signs).

I think it should be discussed in a loving (concerned) way and let her know you are not judging her for her past. This is too big of a "secret" for you to contend with on your own. It could also cause you to wonder about her current activities. Trust is essential to a good relationship, so I think it's best to get it on the table. She may be ashamed of her past, on the other hand she may think it was a great time. Perhaps you should find out.

Answer 6

First off you don't know if it's true or not and your sister was out of line getting involved in your marriage. Your marriage comes first before your sister or your family. I know your sister loves you and wants to look out for you but you're a married MAN. Your wife comes first and since you told her that if she didn't want to talk about her past if was fine. So drop it, you've already absolved her on her past mistakes. She came to the marriage with a nice nest egg and shared it with you. Do not approach your wife about this, right now it's gossip. Love your wife and put her first before anyone else.

Answer 7

Before you got married you both had a past Im pretty sure have things of your own that you have not shared with her. Remember when you get married with someone you love them for what they are at the time they are with you and if you really love and adore her it shouldn't bother you. Unless she is still doing it now that is a different story. I would leave it alone and just think the skeletons in your closet live the present not the past!

Answer 8

Like you said it was in the past and it was before yous got together. I think before you make this decision on wheather to approach her about this you need to answer some questions of your own like Is it worth the chance of losing a six year realationship over? How would like her to react if the tables were turned? Goodluck I hope whatever you decide it works out for the best!!!

Answer 9

The questions probably should have been asked before the marriage. Everyone has a past. When you married you bacame one. If she left her past behind, I don't see what the problem is. Maybe you should talk to her she might feel better to get that secret off her chest. But do not loose your cool and get all jealous at the thought. If you love her, you both can get past this.

Answer 10

You loved her enough to marry her after telling her it was fine not to talk about her past. What about yours? Are you proud of everything you have done in the past? The money she brought into the relationship was good enough at the time.Are you saying it's not good now and that you don't want to live in the house that she bought?The important thing is do you love each other? Everything else is bullsh*t.