my final divorce papers came today, although the relationship ended ayear ago and it is for the best as it was a bad relationship why am i feeling very upset still i applied for the divorce and have had pleanty time to come to tearms with the idea why do i feel like crap did anyone else feel like this when they divorced?
2007-01-16 10:01:28 · 23 answers · asked by sara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my final divorce papers came today, although the relationship ended ayear ago and it is for the best as it was a bad relationship why am i feeling very upset still i applied for the divorce and have had pleanty time to come to tearms with the idea why do i feel like crap did anyone else feel like this when they divorced?
2007-01-16 23:29:10 · update #1
thanks for all the advice there everyone
2007-01-16 23:30:49 · update #2
You don't go into marriage lightly and when things go wrong and it comes to an end for whatever reason it is like mourning and grieving for the loss of someone. Its an end to a chapter in your life and although you feel as you do remember when one door closes another opens and although you may not appreciate it at the moment in time there will be a future for you without having to put up with the bad relationship you were in. Try and develop new interests and friends and put the marriage and divorce down to being a growth experience. Wishing you good luck for your future happiness and God Bless.
2007-01-16 10:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not easy going throuh a divorce.And I speak from experience.Theres no time limit as to when you will get over it,memories will keep flooding back,and you will always ask yourself if there was anything different you could have done.Unfortunately if your ex partner doesnt want to reconcile then you have no option but to move on and start a fresh.Its easy for anyone who hasn't been through the trauma of a divorce to make comments but anyone who has knows its not easy.If the relationship was full of arguments,or that old addage that you just drifted apart learn from the mistakes you made.Time is the biggest healer,and believe me there will be a time when you can look back and understand that some things are meant to be,and theres nothing you can do.
Not all divorces are the same,I lost my house due to the divorce and my mother passed away during the settlement.I didnt know where to turn,or who to talk to about it all.I just struggled through it.But I can look back some 6 years after it all and realise it was for the best.
What exactly makes you feel like crap? Is it the thought of being on your own,or is it the thought or fear of the unknown?
Find someone you can talk to in confidence,and dont be afraid to talk it through as many times as you need to.A good friend will always be there for you.
Dont look at it as a failure,its unfortunately part of life and common place these days.
Try to sort things out between the 2 of you and dont involve solicitors,they will just string you a long for as much cash as they can.
Good luck.
2007-01-17 12:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by freddy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe because you are not seen as an offical couple any more. Remember when you first got married and people smiled at you when they used your new name? Its like that in reverse. Maybe part of you feels like you've failed or become a statistic? Those feelings will pass and in time you will realise they are all about what other people may or may not think.
You say it was a bad relationship and its for the best, think of a previous bad relationship that ended, weren't you relieved?
There is no stigma attached to divorce any more, and trust me, these feelings won't last.
2007-01-16 18:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Karen L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I went to court and was granted a divorce, evev though I had instigated it it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just cried all the way home. It is very sad when a marriage ends for whatever reason, I felt like a failure even though the marriage was bad and I didnt lover him any more. I made sure we had plenty of councilling which didnt work in the long run.
The saddest part was how bad I felt for our kids, though they are better out of living in an awful environment it is still ultimately sad for them not to be able to live with both their parents.
So yes, what you are feeling is quite normal because it has finally hit you and you will neef time to get on with life and move on.
Good luck, I know how you feel!
2007-01-17 04:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its like a death. You have to grieve. Acknowledge the hurt and disappointment in terms of the relationship breakdown but don't beat yourself up. If things had got that far, they needed to go that far.
A year is still a short period. You may be feeling delicate now but give yourself time. Don't go looking for another partner yet do your own self-healing particularly as you said it was a bad relationship. Take your time to find your feet and slowly get into what and who make you happy and lifts your spirits.
Good luck
2007-01-17 05:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by The Cat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is the end of a time when you thought you truly loved the other person. It is a sort of grieving process. It will get better in time,remember why you decided to get the Divorce,it must have been better to NOT be married to that person than to be married to them. It is a new year,time for a new life. Get out find new interests,not meaning a new person in your life yet,it is too early for that,but get out find new places to go,new people to meet,new things to get into. Good luck. Yep,been there bought the tee shirt,wore it out,tossed it in the garbage.........went shopping and got a new wardrobe(if you get the meaning) It was time to move on with my life,change things around in your place,paint a few walls,redecorate!!!!!!
2007-01-16 18:06:58 · answer #6 · answered by grbarnaba 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone must feel like that....alot of people answering your question have hit the nail right on the head!
Get up tomorrow and get on with your new life eh!...this one didint work but im sure that you will find happiness in the future!
best wishes x
2007-01-16 19:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by Jp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a good friend and lean on there shoulder. A good friend can help you get through anything. Start a new better life for yourself. The world is a great place
2007-01-16 22:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by Dustin W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sad because it marks closure on an episode in your life. Some of it must have been good otherwise you wouldn't have got married. Feel sad its natural but don't dwell. Time to move on now once and for all
2007-01-16 18:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Mickey Corleone 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Most of us felt a lot better as you will in time....it really does heal you know......
Find another Guy who appreciates a nice lady and you will look back and know you did the right thing.....
All the best.
2007-01-16 20:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋