Have any of you wanted another child but your husband did not?

Question

What did you do? Did you have another anyway or did you just go with your husbands wishes?
We have 2 children and I just want one more and I'll get my tubes tied after that. My husband doesn't want anymore due to him thinking we never have enough money.

My first child was a surprise and my second child was planned by both of us. I'm on birth control right now. I want to stop birth control for my health and either I get my tubes tied or he gets a vasectomy. He doesn't want anymore kids but refuses to get a vasectomy and expects me to go in and get my tubes tied. I agreed to do that if we have one more baby.
Baby or no baby I will be off of birth control in June. He'll have to wear condoms if he doesnt' want another.

I forgot to add he works full time and I work part time. I know we'd have enough money but he is selfish and says he wont' be able to do the things he likes to do if we have another child.

Answer 1

We also had 2 & huby said no more but I kept alking about it & guess what he suprised me one night ,lol. So baby #3 is on the way! Let him know how you feel...men tend to think more of money with pregnancies while woman think love & baby

Answer 2

I am a father, and here are my feelings.
Marriage is a cooperation of two very different people who work together to combine their many different idea's and desires into a relationship that works. If you are already blessed with two children, can you be happy with them? What is your reasoning for the third? To ask others how they got their way of having more children may be a little selfish. However, if he feels that he is happy with just two kids, I think it is selfish of him to expect you to get your tubes tied. A vasectomy is much less intrusive and less expensive.

All that said... Here is an idea.
If it is financial concerns that he is worried about, you should implement a budget and start mapping out expenditures. Show him how much you spend as a family, and the little more that a third child actually adds to the total cost. You probably already have the many baby items that are so costly to begin with.
Then show him what you would be willing to forego in order to make things work out.
Marriage is a give and take. Don't manipulate, trick or decieve to get what you want. Be united on the final decision.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well i can relate to him. Except It is me that does not want another, We have three and my husband wants one more. I want to get my tubes ties but every time the subject comes up he makes me feel bad like I don't love him, but I do with all my heart. Are you working or is he the soul provider? Men do have a hard time when it comes to making sure that there is enough for everyone. That is one of my husbands biggest stresses. He worries and with your husband I suspect having another mouth to feed is quite a burden for him. I know how difficult this is for you. I decided to let my husband have his way even though I am in my mi thirties. Now I am not trying to get pregnant ut I am not preventing it either. I decided that if heavenly father wishes me to have another I guess it is his will and I will not question that. But thus far I have not and I just keep praying that my husband will come around and be happy with our life as it is. Pray about it and continue to talk to your husband maybe he will come around. Try perhaps saying that you guys could try for say six months and if it happened then it does and if it doesn't then he can get a vasectomy.

Answer 4

I think you need to remind him of the love he feels for his children. The feeling he got when his child first recognized him and called him Dada. The first time his child walked. You know. Get him to change his mind by using his emotions. Don't get pregnant without him agreeing to another child. He'll blame you and might pull away from you emotionally.

Financial reasons are a very good reason for not having another child so you might also want to show him that you can have another baby without a huge financial strain on the household. For instance, if you are able to get a lot of second hand clothing it would cut down on buying clothes for the baby. If you tell him that you are planning on breastfeeding the baby, it would be free food for the baby rather than buying expensive formula. Make a list of ways you can get around having to spend money and it might make him feel better about having another child.

Answer 5

I have one girl from my first marriage and he has a son from his first marriage , when we got married we decide to have one baby after a couple of years and we did, after that baby he wanted another one but I didn't but after a year or so I changed my mind I love my kids so we planned to have the last one after our baby was 4 but something came wrong and I got pregnant when my little one was 1 1/2 yrs now we are having a girl next month and we are happy for that I'm glad that I changed my mind but now for sure she will be the last one !!!! We also sometimes have money problems but we just put in order our paymnets and have $$ to have fun and even buy pampers is just to get organized and not spend more that you need that way you can even save!!! GOOD LUCk!!!

Answer 6

I'm in the same situation. We just had our 2nd and I dont feel that our family will be complete until we have a 3rd. Hubby is very hesitant about it. I too have made up my mind after our 3rd my tubes will be tied because I deffinatly dont want more than 3. My hubby is afraid of finances, and just the overall stress of being outnumbered by kids.
Good luck!

Answer 7

In my house, it was the reverse. Dad wanted another kid, but Mom already had two (me and my older half-brother.)

So Mom got her tubes tied, and that was that. So...Dad didn't really have a choice.

If it's that important to you (and it seems like it is) sit down and talk with him about it. Work out a budget if you have to. Assure him that you both know everything involved (including the cash issues.)

Good luck.

Answer 8

Was the second child agreed to be the last one? If not the both of you need to see a councilor to get to a happy medium, and enjoy the 2 blessings you have. Best of wishes to your family.

Answer 9

my husband didnt want anymore after our second. we didnt plan it but i got pregnant with our third.he was upset at first but came around. i got on birthcontrol after his birth and got pregnant again four months after my third was born. the birth control killed my baby and it hurt us so bad. my husband told me after i took the time to heal, and if i was up to it that he wanted have one more baby with me. now i am pregnant again. minus the birth control. we are very excited. but i also agreed to get my tubes tied after this.

Answer 10

Yes. We had a son who died when he was 2, my husband was absoultey dead-set against another baby. I'm pregnant now, though, and this happened by accident.

I'd strongly advise against "having one anyway" against his wishes. That's deceitful and not right.