She does not do all of her responsibilities that she needs to do around the house while I am at work. She only does it once in a while when she wants something from me. What should I do??
2007-01-16 09:47:09 · 26 answers · asked by cireniod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Help her out around the house???? Maybe she is hinting to you. When I was married...I always helped out....dishes, cooking...etc....you ought to try it sometime!!
2007-01-16 09:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by bryan c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife need to sit down and talk about roles and goals. You seem disappointed that she is not meeting your expectations. You need to talk with her. But you need to be ready for whatever information she gives you.
If she stays home and there are no children then she should do all the cleaning and all the cooking. If she doesn't like that, she should get a job. If she stays home with children, she should still do a lot of that stuff because she's the one with the time to do it. If she doesn't like that, maybe you could stay home with the children instead and then you can do all that stuff and let her work.
Don't try to sell her a role that you wouldn't be willing to fulfill. If you would be willing to do all that, then offer he a choice. We can all make choices. And if she doesn't like the choices you're offering, then ask her how she would like to see it work. But settle somehow on something the two of you can agree is workable.
If she ends up staying home with kids and doing all the cooking and cleaning and shopping, you really should help her out where you can and as much as you can. You do this not because you "should" but because a caring man will help his wife out and any man with half a brain can see that if you can save her some time, that is time she can spend with you or time that she can spend on her own, thinking about what a great guy you are. You benefit in the end.
Because let's face it man, if she aint' happy, you ain't happy. If you've been married for more than a year or two, you should have that pretty well down by now. And an unhappy woman can make life pretty terrible where a happy one can make it so wonderful.
So put away the scorecards and just approach this from a "what makes sense" angle. If she's got more free time to do these things, it makes sense that she should do them. And if you're smart, you see that it makes sense to pitch in and help her out because she'll feel better about you if you do.
Happier wife = better sex. Can I spell it out any clearer than that? And whatever you have to do for her that you hate, you just remind yourself, "I'm doing this to make things happier and better..."
Be flexible. Be smart. Be willing. And before you talk with her, make sure and answer this one simple question:
Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?
Good luck my friend. I know where you're coming from -- really I do. But it's not going to get you what you want. Bending a bit and being a good guy is going to get you more of what you want. If I can clean a toilet and get better sex, I'm all for it. Think about things that way. Because if you see her as your servant, you either ain't gonna get any or what you get is going to be pretty boring.
2007-01-16 18:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is sharing and if she does not work then even
though you do you can cook sometimes also. Talk to her
and maybe she has a reason as to why she does or does
not do what it is that she does not do. I am a working man
and my wife is a housewife but I cook several meals, help
clean the house, iron, wash, and even clean the dishes,
it's a sharing committment.
2007-01-16 21:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should expect the women to do every thing around the house... I thin you have to help her out it is very sexist to think that its the wives responsibility ti take care of these things...
Don't get me wrong I do think that a wife can help out her husband and do her best for her family but if she has other responsibilities you have to also help her out...
2007-01-16 17:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by devilsadvocate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who says a wife has to cook for anyone? My wife doesn't like to cook, I do so I do most of the cooking, end of story
2007-01-16 17:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by gamerunner2001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a little old thinking. If you want a wife like this there are lots of ladies that wish to serve a man.
If she is not the type of woman that wishes to serve a man then you need to divorce her because you would be doing her a favor.
I COOK FOR MY GIRLFRIEND because I want to do things for her. I like to make her feel good.
2007-01-16 17:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by CTM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are your responsibilities? If she does not work, I understand she should take care of the household, but if you can afford it, pay someone to clean and do chores. Did she cook and clean before you got married? If she didn't then don't expect it now.
If she works, then both of you should share the workload.
2007-01-16 23:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by jade 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you guys should have an equal relationship...take turns with the chores, it makes them easier to manage. ask her politly that it would be nice to come home to something she has cooked for the two of you to enjoy. has she ever cooked for you? remind her of how much you liked it when she did. make her feel appreciated though, or she'll just feel like your slave, and not your wife. offer to do the dishes if she cooks, and maybe return the favor of making her breakfast in bed some weekend.
2007-01-16 17:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does it say that is your wifes responsibility to cook? Grab a pan and quit griping.
2007-01-16 18:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should definetly cook for you. I work full time, plus over time every day and I cook for my hubby 5 nights a week. Even if she has kids to watch, she should still have dinner ready for you, cause she is home all day. Tell her to start working if she isnt going to cook.
2007-01-16 17:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by Kari R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is your wife man or woman?
Otherwise, why do you have a such avatar?
Think about psychology stuff, it might help.
Maybe your wife thinks that she is your husband, so in this case you have to cook for her???
Common man, just buy to her that vibrator and make her and yourself happy!
2007-01-16 23:43:19 · answer #11 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋