Should we just give up on American women?

Question

Some of my buddies have said that they will only marry women from other cultures (Hispanic, Asian) because they feel they get better treatment and don't have a "princess complex" like many (NOT all) American women.

My buddies have made up their minds. I'm on the fence on this issue. Do they have a point?

They say many American women (rightly) expect to be treated specially ("open my doors, bring me flowers, pay for our dates, etc.")

How do they reciprocate? By offering the pleasure of their company

They'd never dream of actually reciprocating by offering to serve him, say a plate of food. They feel it would be demeaning. "I'm not your SLAVE. . . but, you'd still better open my doors"

By contrast, 4 of us were invited to the home of a Latina for dinner. She and the other Latinas actually served us and THEN they ate themselves. We were stunned. We would rather've eaten WITH them

But, those ladies understand that the door of service swings both ways. That's all they say they want

Answer 1

I'm a young married American woman (25 years old) and I agree with much of what you say. I believe that many women of today have chips on their shoulder and want to punish men for discrimination and sexism of past generations.

I think when it comes down to it, it's about individuals, not groups of people. When you find someone that you honestly care for, giving of yourself should be easy and she should want to do the same in return. There are still respectable American girls out there, it's just a matter of finding them.

Answer 2

Well this ideas depends on what type of American woman you and your friends are attracted to. Most women who are pretty successful in life are pretty independent and have no qualms about going 'dutch' on a date. However, women do like to be treated as though they are special to their man. Bringing flowers are simple gestures that show they are special to their men (if it's giving withlove behind it). Holding a door open for a women is common courtesy...

Most women have no problem with 'serving' their men. We will cook a meal, fix your plate, even clean up behind you but if it goes unappreciated we stop.

Basically to say that American women have a pricess complex is sterotyping. I could easily say you and your friends have a chauvinistic complex and that I should stop dating American men because of this. Just because you've ran into a couple of rude wwomen doesn't mean we are all that way... maybe you should look at a different class of women.

Answer 3

At the risk of enduring a bombardment of flame mail, I will say that I have noticed a huge difference between European women and American women. Before anybody gets their dithers up, of course we are talking broad (couldn't help it) generalizations over large groups here. They do not dependably apply to any one individual, nevertheless...

Here in Slovakia, in central Europe, the women are just so much more relaxed and down to earth in their dealings with men. The men make all kinds of ignorant, sexist comments which would elicit a round of PC condemnation from over-politicized American women. But the local women don't let it bother them. They just accept the fact of life that men are pigs.

They just quietly go about the business of being successful in business and being successful in attracting a husband and raising a family.

The American women, on the other hand, are obsessed about making political points, as though we were in a debate. Depending on how shrilly and stridently they do this, they can succeed in alienating the men.

I can see why there is a lot of interest in alternative sexualities among young American men now. Maybe you would, too, if you had to deal with basketcase American women who don't know what they want.

They condemn an old-fashioned man as sexist, and claim they want a modern "sensitive" type, yet we all know that is complete BS. They'll dump the sensitive, nice guy for a macho bad boy any time (in complete hypocrisy to their so-called "feminist" philosophy).

They hide their disappointment with the modern, sensitive male, and secretly want an old-fashioned, sexist one.

Such confusing signals American women give off. Why can't they be more sensible, like their central European counterparts?

Answer 4

I haven't completely, yet. Getting there. Media has really done a job on a lot of them, just like it has on kids (like the snot-nosed suburban white punks barging through the shopping mall with earbuds and pants around their knees pretending to be inner-city ***** criminals). A lot of American women are overdosed on Oprah and "Whine of the Month" b*itch books and imagine that they are and/or expect to be victimized by males.

But it's not just women. Just about everbody in the country has s*hit for brains. There are still a few that don't - male and female -
but they are getting harder and harder to find.

A little privation and hardship would do wonders for the average U.S. citizen. And fear not, they'll be getting it soon enough. People that have seen a bit themselves already - that realize that having His and Hers Hummers and worrying more about goddam dinner parties and who is pretending to be allergic to what food and that sort of s*hit are piggy, shallow and pathetic - are often the best choice, and a lot of them happen to be from countries besides this one.

Only state I've seen that is an exception is Alaska. But I'm getting out of the continental US for sure, and probably moving to another country altogether. Sick of this place. Most of the people around the world are disgusted with us, and rightfully so.

Answer 5

What kind of girls are you meeting? And where? You've missed out on a whole other world.
There are lots of girls out there who; while thrilled to have their dinners paid for, are just as happy to recipricate by paying for the next date, or going dutch. They can actually carry on conversations and discuss a variety of subjects.
Granted they might not wear the latest fashions (or they might).. and they are probably going to require a little more effort than the stereotypical "American woman".. Yeah and you might not find them at the hottest clubs.. Cause they have other things to do than wait around for Prince Charming to bring them flowers and sweep them off their feet.
Erm.. wait.. did you want someone subserviant... or did you want an equal?

Answer 6

Sure, it's perfectly okay for your buddies to give up on American women. Just as it is okay for you to do that. But, pay attention to your reasons.

Listen it's okay to want to feel cared for and special. That's why it is important to always be a gentleman. (Doesn't mean you always pay for dinner. But, if you invite, you must offer to pay, unless you have made other arrangements in advance)

Being a gentleman is not about giving to get something in return. Just like being a good host and serving your guests first is important and is not done because you are a man or because she owes you something. It's just good manners. I agree some people do not have good manners. Both men and women are guilty of this.

Your relationship with your mother affects how your relationship with your future wife will be. Your friends probably have a relationship with their mothers that involves a lot of caretaking. And, that is fine. That is how their mothers have shown their love to them. I did a little of that with my son. But, I also debated big issues with him and introduced him to sports. His relationship with his wife is very similar. They both treat each other special. But, they are equal in many areas.

I have always told my girls to pay attention to their boyfriends relationship with his mother. If it is a good one, then move forward. Otherwise dump him like a hot potato.

I have a feeling you are a good guy and you will do fine.

Answer 7

I'm not American but my man is. I am delighted that some American women have forced their men to outsource their positions. I am surprised that as a Western European woman I'm veiwed differently though, we are all Westernised.

However I am not subservient. I like to eat at the same time as my man, I like to do things together. I want to spend as much time WITH him as I can. We have mutual repect. We dont always agree but we listen and we learn from each other. We do nice things for each other. He makes me feel special and I try at all times to do the same for him.

If you want a woman that will be submissive I'm sure you could find one in America.

It makes me feel sad that men and women are at such loggerheads. It's no wonder there are so many unhappy men and women, they have turned relationships into a battlefield.

Behave in a fashion that turns your 'I wants' and show them through your actions to be 'I deserves' whether you are a man or a woman, and hopefully you and your partner of choice will respect each other and work together for each others happiness.

Karma.
x

Answer 8

It's your choice, of course. But I would suggest you seek out a Godly American woman and see if you have a change of heart about the matter.

I don't know why we (women) tend to be so sensitive and defensive. I didn't even know I was that way until my husband pointed out to me that everytime he made any sort of statement about "me" I would become defensive as if he was launching an attack on me.

He would ask me if I got the laundry done today, and I would fire off, "No! You know I am not feeling well! Why do you want to make me feel guilty about it?" When in fact, he just wanted to know if his favorite warm socks were clean for work. No big deal, he would throw a load in if I hadn't gotten to it.

Why are we so defensive, always seeming to be ready for a fight? Even when they are not picking a fight (which some men do!), we seem posed to defend ourselves at all times.

Not all women are this way. Some of us have obvious baggage. But none of us have to be slaves to that baggage. We just gotta put it down and leave it behind. And learn to assume the GOOD in a situation instead of throwing up our fists to duke it out.

My humble opinion

Answer 9

I gave up years ago. My wife is Korean, but subservient? Not on my best day! We've been married 28 years, and we didn't get there by one of us being the "king" and the other just a lowly serf. My wife has too much self respect. The reason I gave up on American women? I have 2 sisters. Enough said.

Answer 10

i don't really care if you give up on American women or not. but, to enlighten you on some of your comments toward what we expect here goes...it is respect to open a door for a lady, respect, in America. it is called chivalry, personally, i do bring my husband a plate of food as he does for me, neither of us expect it though. i chose a man that could pay for the date and was brought up that way. i think your friends are closed-minded by judging all American women by comparing to such a few that they have encountered. American women is such a broad category. we are so diversified how could you possibly pin point an American woman's culture?