I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my second child (another boy). I'm terrified. I had a 37 hour labor with my first son who came out 9 1/2 pounds and had severe neck problems for about 18-24 months as a result of his size and the length of my labor. Then when he was 2 1/2 weeks old, he was diagnosed with reflux. He was constantly on medication and after eating, he would scream and throw up nonstop. When pregnant with him, I didn't know what was coming (yes, ignorance is often bliss). But now I know what to expect, at least a worst case scenario. Only this time, I have a 2 1/2 year old to take care of as well. I'm scared and dreading next week and doing everything I can to take it easy so I don't force myself into an early labor (not that stressing out about this baby is helping anything).
Any words of advice from people who know and have been through this? How can I bond with my new baby without making my older son feel neglected? And what can I do to not be so scared this time around?
2007-01-16 09:45:19 · 13 answers · asked by A W 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
To Sadie- My first son was born on Memorial Day and my regular OBGYN had gone to Hawaii. I went into labor on Saturday and delivered Monday morning, I think because the on-call doctor didn't want to be bothered on her holiday. She kept having the nurses send me home since I wasn't dilating.
2007-01-16 09:59:02 · update #1
Well, if it's any consolation, my labours kept getting shorter each time... the first was 22 hours, then 10 hours, then 7 hours. They do get a bit easier, because your body has done it before.
It is a lot of work having two kids close together (mine are now 6,8 and 10!). But, it's also very fun. Your kids will be good friends as they grow up :D
You had a really hard go of things the first time around.... I really empathise with you!! As a mom of three boys, I can tell you with 100% certainty that no two children/babies are EVER the same!!!
Good luck!! Drink some tea, put your feet up, get your husband to give you a back rub.... it will all work out. There will be some crazy times, but one day, your sons will be older, and they'll come up and give you a hug - right out of the blue - and say, "I love you, Mom", and it will all be worth it!!
2007-01-16 09:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by pianogal73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just had my second baby (seven weeks old today) and my first son is 13. I am still struggling with trying to spend time with the baby and my first son. The best thing to do is if you have someone around (husband, boyfriend, family, etc.) let them take one child from time to time so that you can spend time with the other. Bonding with the baby should be no problem - at least I didn't have a problem :) With my older son, I make an effort to talk to him everyday after school and we watch a lot of wrestling (sounds silly I know) together. You just have to take it one day at a time and try not to beat yourself up too bad if you feel like you are doing something wrong.
As for your next baby, don't worry too much. Sure you had a hard time with the first one but I think you have earned yourself a break with this next one. Whatever might happen is out of your hands, you just have to sit back and relax and take it as it comes. Plus I didn't believe it but the second baby usually comes out a lot faster (I had a hard labor with my first, not as hard as yours, but it took a long time which sucked). I think you will be just fine because I worried big time with my second, but everything worked out fine.
Good luck!!
2007-01-16 17:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I had a 30 hour labor with my first child & pushed for 5 hours, yes 5 hours!!!! My second just over 2 and a half years later....my water broke left for hospital no contractions had 2 good contractions felt pressure no pushing & the nurse caught him before the OB made it to the room.... just remember 2 nd labors are easier not always that easy though and evry pregnancy is diffrent. If a large baby is a issue ask your OB for a ultrasound for the weight if large you may want to talk about a csection to avoid neck problems...and do not worry (althought that is what moms do best) as you will always find the time for each child & mmore love than you can ever imagine...Good Luck & congrats!!!
2007-01-16 17:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK I know you said moms, But I am a Dad of three boys. I am also a paramedic my wife a Nurse. In OB. Being scared is normal, Try your best to keep your two year old as involved as possible in everything you do with your new born. It helps them feel like they are involved and part of the family, and it helps you too.
About the birth. If you feel that you can't do another vaginal birth, explain to your Dr the complications you had with your last child. You can always have a C section. Also Is your husband still around. He needs to know how you feel and needs to be there with you all the way. Help to support you and your family at this stressful time in your life.
Good luck with the pregnancy and birth. Don't worry about raising your newborn yet. You will do a fine job.
2007-01-16 17:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by Brian 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a long labor with my son and a very quick trip with my daughter. I would say don't stress about anything and enjoy your alone time with your first son. After your second son is born there maybe some adjusting time for your first. Include him with feeding and changings. let him sit with you when you rock your baby. My son had a hard time too. Now he never wants to leave without her. Make sure you have help the first two weeks because you will be tired. good luck
2007-01-16 23:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by sweet angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the good news is...the road to life has already been paved by your fist child. In most cases, a womans first labor is the longest and they get easier each time....now, this is not true in all cases, but it is something to look forward to in the meantime. (My first was 14 hours and two of that was pushing, my second was 8 hours and one of that was pushing and my last was 5 hours and she came out in only ONE push!) As far as the labor goes...there really is no turning back and no matter how long it is...I promise it will be worth it! Now, about the equal time sharing between the children...I have two biological children from a first marriage, and my husband has 2 biological children from a first marriage. Together, we just had our first 12 days ago. So that is a grand total of 5 children in our house. While it is important to make sure that we do things together as a family, it is equally important to make sure that each child feels a sense of individuality and that each one is loved in his/her own way. Jealousy is a very real and natural reaction bnut it is something that we all have to learn to deal with...and we do. My first two were 2 1/2 years apart also...I will not tell you that it is easy, however I will tell you that it has been a great success! Just try to make time with your older one so that he knows that he has not been forgotten. Include him in the daily activities and helping to care for the baby. Lucky for you, most newborns sleep a great deal of the day away, so there will be time for your you to share with your first born. For my husband and I, we do little things with each child individually (like a lunch/play date or even baking some cookies) then we also have a big family game night so that each child also learns patience and realizes that he/she does have to learn to get along with his/her siblings. My second child has Tourettes Syndrome so I know what it is like to handle a child with special needs (wether it be colic like he was for the first 4 months of life, or anxiety which he has suffered from for his entire life) My best advice would be to take it slow, try to relax, and remember that no matter what happens in life, things do have a way of working themselves out. Believe it or not, things will fall into place and you will survive. :)
Good luck and Congrats on the upcoming arrival!
2007-01-16 18:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my world.. 38 hour hard labor with the first and 28 hours with the second..
First one I almost lost him.. he came out beat up and a little distressed... the second one was long but the two births where completely different and the children are completely different.
My son has come out with a mild case of tourettes.. but not like what you think.. his symptoms are more just with eye blinking while watching TV... it is very mild and I have been told that it would be completely gone by age 25.. his is soon to be 21.
He has struggled a little in his grades but nothing major..
He is an excellent musician..
As for my second one .. a daughter. she is 16 and already in college.. very intellegent..
both children are wonderful and have a heart of gold.. but very different..
Dont worry... I think you got throught the first rought one and this one will be easier.
God Bless I will be praying for you!
P.S. buy some small gifts and wrap them.. keep them handy and if anyone comes by with a gift for the baby... youll have a gift to give him too..
Also.. give him a diaper to dab the baby's mouth when feeding.. let him help.. and always tell him it is his baby!.. and have a little medical wrist band made up to let him wear like mom and baby.
2007-01-16 18:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by Esther J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found out that I was pregnant with my second child a month before my first child's birthday. I was just praying that my first would be walking before I had my second. LOL. It isn't that bad. My oldest did have to adjust to the fact that she was no longer the center of attention, but things got better. Make sure that you still include your 2 1/2 year old in your little ones activities. let him feel like he is helping you by going to get a diaper for you or holding his bottle, etc. This makes the older one not feel so left out. Good Luck. Things will be fine.
2007-01-16 17:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by littleone84 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you know what to expect so you can rest easy! Chances are this one will be much easier. I'm surprised your doctor didn't give you a C-section... do you have the same bo-gyn as you did with your oldest?
Your 2.5 year old will probably enjoy being the "helper" which will help you bond with the baby without having him feel neglected. Be sure to spend time with him when the baby is sleeping, etc. When one of my friends (I wish I had thought of this!) had her second baby, she gave her oldest a toy he wanted very badly and told him it was from his new sister. He's loved her ever since!
Anyway, just relax and try not to worry (easier said than done I know)
2007-01-16 17:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off relax....Every pregnancy and labor is different...this one should not be that long my first labor was 36 hours and my second was four hours and my third was 2 hours...The doctor is probally already expecting a big baby soit should go smoother then the first relax....as for reflux maybe put the baby on soy right from the start...or nutramigin (hyper allegenic formula) that way it won't be that bad my first didn't have reflux but my second and thrird did and my third has it the worst she barley is gaining any weight as for having two at once it will be tiring for the first couple of months but once you get a system going you will wonder how you didn't try this before...good luck.....
2007-01-16 18:01:21 · answer #10 · answered by christina c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋