Why does my man run away after an argument?

Question

Never talks. When there's a stressful situation he makes it even worse by running away.

and he never says sorry.

Answer 1

Some men don't handle confrontation very well. There also might be things that the two of you are never going to agree on. I would think twice about trying to force him to talk.

You might focus instead on appreciating him for whatever he does right. Most men can pick up on that pretty quick and if they're getting positive feedback, most will do more of whatever it was that made you happy. But you've got to be specific about what he did or does that you like.

You might get a lot further that way. I know it must be frustrating that he won't confront you but that may just be the way the man is. Try some other things and see if you can't get what you want that way.

Think about what it is that you want. But don't start with, "I want him to talk with me...". What you really want is for him to do more of something and less of something else. So go with the positive and try to ignore the stuff you don't like. Don't take it personally that he can't handle confrontation.

If this doesn't work, then post another question here and let us know what you tried.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, the definition to "stressful situation" would be helpful; I'm assuming you mean an argument. The solution to every male vs. female problem can be found in two simple words: Love & Respect. Basically, men are hardwired to need respect, while we women are programmed to need love. We (women) are showing love and the need to relate when we attempt to talk about a problem and confront each other's weaknesses; while the man is from a completely different planet and he automatically stonewalls in the face of an argument. This is because he thinks we are disrespecting him. Men operate under a strict code of honor: you never see them approach each other and say "I have a real problem with your attitude, lets talk about it." So, in short, he needs to realize that you are not disrespecting him, you are only trying to show him love and that you care about him. And you need to know that our attempts to confront often appear to be nagging, and that will run them off every time. It's a vicious cycle: he doesn't show you love so you don't respect him, which makes him show less love which makes you disrespect him even more. The only way to break it is to both come together in an understanding of each other's differences and "decode" our language. Believe or not, men and women speak totally different languages! What we mean is not what they hear. However, to those who know the simple solution, there is hope.

Answer 3

Are you being fair to him in the argument?

He is probably scared of doing or saying something stupid, so he leaves to cool down and clear his head. Make an agreement that he tells you when he is getting overwhelmed and needs to take a break. Ask him to tell you when he will be back. That will help you feel more secure in the relationship - girls often feel abandoned when the guy leaves after an argument

Men have a tough time being emotional and logical at the same time - their brains aren't connected in the same way as women's are. Women have a lot easier time verbalizing their emotions. But men feel their emotions more - in reality they are more sensitive emotionally - they just can't express it how we do - this is a biological fact. Be easy on him - he is just being a guy.

He doesn't sound violent - many men are. Consider yourself lucky.

Be fair to him - you might want to take his lead by calming down before you say stupid things too.

Let him win with you - meaning let him feel important, that you love him even when you are mad.

Answer 4

Maybe your too belligerent with him and he cannot face the arguments. I wouldn't mind betting that he comes from a family background where no one ever talked or talks about family problems and relationships, but always cast blame on the other person. He is obviously too proud and thinks you will belittle him when faced with confrontation. Instead of sitting down he runs away but comes back to fight another day. He is probably hurting like hell inside when this happens. Maybe also he thinks he is not good enough for you.

Makes for an awful atmosphere and really you have to get him to confront his demons before either of you can have a satisfactory relationship. Go to relate and seek advice before it all gets out of hand.

Not good for you either by the way...you must be hurting as well.

Hope this all has a happy ending for you both. Love Nettie X


Read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, or Your all right and I'am alright.

Answer 5

Couple reasons.

He may be scared that if he stayed he may something that may really hurt you and he may eventually regret. Men need to walk away sometimes to get their anger back in control. Men are a lot quicker to anger than women. They cannot think straight or see things from another perspective when angry. So in this case walking away may be good.

The man should eventually calm down and resolve the issue by sitting down and discussing the issue at hand. Relationships are 50-50. Nobody is always right or always wrong. If you love each other, you will care about the other person's feelings and resolve all issues by discussing and agreeing and sometimes you have to compromise. Love requires compromise, understanding and compassion from both parties.

Answer 6

Men are very physcially don't like talking much try no to bring up things thats not important. What you can't change don't try to. Men are very stress most of the time on their jobs and don't really communicate about it much. Try to give him a break he may be going through more than you know I'm sure. Don't run him in the arm or the ears of another. Try to make your home a haven and pray for wisdom on what to say when you really do need to talk to him about something. I have learned that everything you think you don't have to talk about it sometimes we are to emotion and it clashed with men ease up and take a chill pill. God bless you you really may be stressing yourself out more

Answer 7

If she is talking about dedication , marriage youthful babies or income the first few dates it truly is an illustration to run . If she has another dudes offspring , it truly is an illustration to run If she isn't into sex then it truly is an illustration that you're dropping time or maybe as per chance no longer reason to run ,,, a minimum of reason to casually walk away.

Answer 8

Men need to walk or drive for about 20Min's after an argument. It's better just to let them have their time to think things through. Men don't always like to admit they are wrong. Maybe try saying I'm sorry I snapped but...... then explain. If they have had their time to calm down they may realise where they were wrong and by you giving a little he may too.

Answer 9

If he's physically running away he's really weird. If he'his walking away or stopping the fight he's probably frustrated or overwhelmed. This is in no way your fault...but guys don't change their ways very easily. I'd say try to take fights a little slower and try not to overwhelm him. Try sitting down and talking about things.

Answer 10

Yes, and unfortunately a very large percentage of the male species does this. They know that it will make things even worse--yet they do it anyway.

You need to tell him that the two of you need to be openly communicating about every topic that could possibly be getting between you. Make this a serious conversation when you are not arguing.

I hope that it works out for you.