I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now and I know it doesnt sound like long but it moved very quickly. We moved in together, we are talking about our future and being together forever. Within the past month or so I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and things got a bit shaky. The "anxiety" (what I am hoping was casuing this) was leading me to believe that I was falling out of love with him and it tore me apart. While these feelings came about my mind started thinking about my ****** ex...honestly, thats all he is, abusive, mentally, physically and emotionally. It took me a while to get out of the relationship an realize that I do deserve a nice guy with a head on his shoulders. Now that I have him I dont know what to do. I want to stop thinking about my ex and move on with my new beau. I still trust him, do nice things 4 him, and surprise him with little things all the time but for some reason I dont know if he is the one for me or not anymore?But I want him to be!
2007-01-16 09:32:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry hon, what's your question?
2007-01-16 09:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you may have to deal with your emotional self first. The system that a lot of women have is that they are attracted to certain kinds of men, some abusive, some needy/dependent, etc. What you may find is that you looked for your ideal man and found what you did--and tried to convince yourself that this is what I want--when in all reality--it isn't. Just because he fit the model of what you think you should be with--doesn't mean that you are with the right guy. It doesn't mean that you aren't either. Did you take any time after the break up to get counseling, or find out that you are a great person, and that you don't NEED a man in your life to be complete? A lot of women forget to love themselves--especially after an abusive relationship. The anxiety tells me that you have a lot of reservations, about a lot of things and if you are remembering the relationship with an abusive x--you need to step back and take a serious look at yourself--you need to make sure that you have healed, because if you are staying/being/living in a relationship because "i'ts the right thing to do" you are in it for the wrong reasons and one or both of you is going to end up being hurt. Slow down and step back--we have nothing but time--make sure you do the right thing by you and it will be the right thing by him.
2007-01-16 17:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know about fast moving relationships, I met my bf on a Wednesday and he moved in on Sunday LOL. We have been together over a year now and things are still going great. If it "tore you apart" to think you were falling out of love with him, I don't think you were. You may not feel like he is the one right now, but that takes time, that part doesn't happen over night. As long as you are both happy in the relationship, just take it one day at a time. I don't know much about anxiety disorders, I have a friend with one and it has a negative affect on her romantic relationships because she tends to push them away. I would talk to your doctor and see what they have to say. I think you are worried over nothing. It sounds like you have a good thing going on and you should find out what the real issue may be, if you were in fact falling out of love with him, then it would just happen, you wouldn't be saying it tore you up. Since you said this is a new issue, an anxiety disorder, you really should talk to the person you are seeing about this anxiety.
2007-01-16 17:48:31 · answer #3 · answered by aprilfools1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you moved so fast in this relationship was probably for the wrong reasons. If you're still thinking about your ex then you need to take a breather. Move out - find your space and deal with the problems at hand. If you still have feelings for this guy your with after you've dealt with YOUR issues then you go back to him.
You have to have love for yourself before you love another.
2007-01-16 17:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by Niko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand what your going through... its great you found a nice guy, but dont be with him just because he is a nice guy. i dont understand why you have feelings for this other jack a--, ive dated many asses and im glad i found the right guy for me, but i dont look back and miss them, so its hard for me to know what your exactly going through but its stupid to even think about your ex. do you not want to be happy and healthy with someone who cares for you now ? dont stay with this nice guy just for the hell of it.... take care of it soon!
2007-01-16 17:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart that's all i can say
2007-01-16 17:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by IisIam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋