Why are chubby gay men/bears/chubs/chasers so shunned from regular gay society?

Question

Why can't we be accepted as equals?

Just because I'm overweight and have body hair doesn't mean I can't be friends with you! I'm not asking you to sleep with me, just hang out and be cool!

I want to say that I have a ton of friends and such - I'm not looking for a man or anything, I"m happy. I just see a lot of skinny boys who will come into a bear bar, and turn their noses up ! I'm like, "uhm, yer in a bear bar... come on now!"

Places like Bear411 have really helped to bring the bear community to the forefront though. :)

Answer 1

I do not know. However, I think its because some men are shallow. I have started working out last year. I have lost about 110#s. I know where you are coming from. I am still the same person I was when i was heavy. Its just people do not want to take the time to get to know some one I think. Its just all instant gratification for most I suppose. Then again I do not have a PH.D so what do I know.

Answer 2

Chubby Gay Men

Answer 3

Chubs Gay

Answer 4

I am so glad not to be a part of that world. Seems that the only people in the gay community who are accepted are exceedingly vane. I have two gay friends who are brothers. One is so concerned with his looks, he spends a lot of money one plastic surgery and such. the other is naturally attractive with a great personality. He keeps himself in good shape, but he is not a pretty boy. He is considered a bear. If these brothers were straight, the bear would get all the girls. I actually find him the more attractive of the two.

Answer 5

It's my belief that those who shun the bears/chub community are jealous that these men are more down-to-earth and masculine than themselves. Granted, I've met some flamboyant bears but most are just regular guys (hence my strong attraction to them). I also believe that there is a misconception in the general gay community that bears/chubs aren't healthy or "taking care of" themselves because of the extra pounds. The musclebears definitely defy that misconception.

I'm glad to read that you embrace your identity as a bearish guy. WOOF! GRRR!!

Answer 6

It's the same reason why people in general who are overweight are often ostracized. It's cuz our society as a whole has put such a high value on looking beautiful and thin. I think it's despicable. I would never exclude someone from my circle of friends because of their body shape. People who do though aren't worth spit neway so you're not missing much by not being their friend.

P.S. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know for a fact that many people would consider me physically unnattractive. And that's okay. I'd rather have people judge me for the good things I do for others and how much love I can offer, instead of something as meaningless as how I look.

P.S.S. and WHO was the person who gave me the thumbs down?? LOL What was wrong with my answer??

Answer 7

I don't think its that they are shunned but some groups in the gay society are more super fissil and vane then any other group in the world.

I was counted as a twink at one time. I didnt put myself in that catagory and hated most of the people who considered themselves twinks. Even at a young age I was always attracted to hairy masculine men but most didnt even give me the time of day. And still today in my 30s its the same thing. Luckly though Im out of the dating scene and found my soulmate.

Today I count myself as gay and stay away from those groups that try to segregate themselves.

Answer 8

Sounds like you're hanging out with the wrong people. :o)

The gym I go to features a lot of muscle bears.
One of the groups I volunteer with is specifically organized around bears meeting each other to do things, including the subset of "Movie Bears."

Trust me, no ones puts me down for my size or hirsuteness and stays my friend for long, especially some skinny hairless boys whohave nothing better to do.
Why are you listening to people who put you down?

Answer 9

I never thought about it that way. To me, I felt as much that bears didn't want to hang out with the "mainstream" gays. I always felt it was a "they leave us alone, we leave them alone" thing. I suppose that is not true in every case, I appologize for my presumption and will do my best to accept bears.

Answer 10

Some folks in our world can be VERY shallow. Everyone feels that they need to look perfect when they walk into a gay bar.
Not everyone feels this way. I find bears very sexy and like a guy with a little "meat on their bones". You just need to stop feeling bad about yourself and dig around with people who like you for who you are.