Divorced 5 months. Was married almost 5 years. We have a young daughter together. He cheated and I kicked him out. He asked for a divorce. I gave it to him. I thought it was the best. It's what he said he wanted. 5 months later he's sorry and doesnt know where we fell apart at.
Me, I am a basket case. I am still totally in love with him. I am sorry for the way I overreacted at times and wish I could go back and do some things differently. He knows this. Accepts it. Wants to have a talk sometime to get everything out.
Problem is: He's still into weed heavily. Skipping around on jobs and not paying his bills, my mom hates him and will disown me if I go back, and I have a boyfriend (serious but not very serious because of the feelings I have for the ex, plus it doesnt feel the same).
I am 25 he is 27. Daughter 5. Am I the only person out there that is still in love with their ex husband or wife that they just divorced. Is there something you can file legally to void divorce?
2007-01-16 09:01:03 · 5 answers · asked by a_dollier 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can understand still having feeling for your first true heartfelt love. But he asked for the divorce for some reason. Do not blame yourself for his adulterous activities. He cheated because he wanted to; just like he smokes weed because he wants to; he skips around on jobs because he wants to. At what point do you and your daughter's best interest become his main priority. It doesn't. You already said it; he still has the same problems he had before (HE) asked for the divorce, so now you want to go back into a broken marriage. If you didn't have a child involved I would suggest go ahead it's your life you are ruining. But there is a child involved, and it is not fair for her to be put in this type of situation.
2007-01-16 09:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u aren't the only one, i will always love my ex, but it doesn't mean i would ever make the mistake of taking him back. seems as if u are sort of excusing what he did and blaming it on some over reaction by you. u did not over react, u made the right choice. you also have another problem, heavily into weed, and if your not, than how long will it take before he leaves u for someone just like him. a druggie and a straight person never work out. he chose her over u, didn't try and stop the divorce, now that she has dumped him he wants to come back, because he is now alone. wake up, and see it for what it is. the time to reconcile would have been before the divorce, even before he went outside the marriage for comfort, but now it is a little late to change his mind. he Will just be off again with a new girl when u confront him again about the pot smoking.
2007-01-16 09:12:07 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..ok well no one is going to blame you for still loving him, you two were married for 5 years and have a child together. You should talk to your lawyer and maybe just put the divorce on hold until you figure things out. I'm not telling you to go back to him, because I think there are a lot of things he needs to fix before he deserves to have you back. I don't think its fair to your current boyfriend or your daughter to not be honest though, you should tell your boyfriend whats going on with you, and let him know that you don't think you can give your whole heart to him right now and that you have things to figure out. As far as your husband goes, let him know that he needs to stop these games..get off of weed, start paying his bills and get a constant job..not only to get you back, but to be able to have contact with his daughter. If he loves you, he'll do it..don't be so quick to take him back, make him work for it. Good luck!
2007-01-16 09:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by JKlein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still in love with my ex, but I try to remember why we fall apart in the first place. And as far as family believe that your family will disown you. My mother wrote me out of her will after I stayed with him, but we have three children and were married almost ten years. The funny part is if I ever forget how dysfunctional my relationship was all I have to do is listen to my neighbors. They have similar problems in their relationship. And as far as voiding your divorce the only thing I could think of would be to get married all over again. But just know that you will have the same problems, he must be willing to change to make things work. But things will get better, me and my ex are best friends again.
2007-01-16 09:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by RDark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you asked your question and stated you still loved your ex, you never said why. In fact you mentioned the things that would make him a bad husband. Listen to your own words and stay away from him (this is for the sake of yourself and daughter). He cheated on you and has not taken any responsibilities, I would even guess that he is trying to borrow money from you.
Please seek therapy to help you through this. Your mother is taking a tough stand because she cares about you. Thank God you were only married five years.
Good luck.
2007-01-16 09:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋