Why is my husband ignoring me? continued :-?

Question

A follow up on yesterdays posting, my husband foned me today and said " he doesnt want to speak to me, he is sorting alot to sort out in his head and maybe I should do the same and relect on the over the years and that he will contact me when and if need be. I told him that he was messing with my head only to be told my head was messed up years ago. Ive done nothing but love this man from the day we met. My life is my husband. I lost alot of friends over him because I believed in him and our marriage. His sister said that she thinks his behaviour towards me is unacceptable. Yes we are all desressed over the loss of his 2 parents in 3 months, and this is not all about me. I have done nothing wrong except love the man. When he left to go on the "course" last thursday 300 miles away, he told me he loved me, and evferything was fine. Spoke to him Friday, everything fine, now the sudden change, this as the only contact since Friday. I am going to peaces. Please read prev posting

Answer 1

Honey he's playing you,
You need more of a life than just your husband,
Get some strength and have some fun,
Get out there and he will come running,
Men can't stand needy women,
I'm sorry to sound harsh, but they like to feel like they have never 'caught' you.
They don't like predictable they like to be 'rewarded' for their good behaviour.
You need to 'pull away' from him so that he realises what he's missing.
If he's not into you anymore, isn't it better to have some dignity ??

lots of luck

Answer 2

I'm really sorry to hear all of this - it's so sad. To me it appears that he is having an affair. He's making out that you are to blame for whatever is going wrong and this could either be because of guilt or because he doesn't want to lose the house etc.

I'm sure you love him dearly, but you desperately need to back off. Have nothing to do with him and play the wounded party. If he contacts you, tell him that you are not prepared to talk to him unless he can give you a proper explanation for his behaviour.
If the worst does happen then you will be blameless.

Answer 3

I wish i had an answer for you, I wish there was an answer for me too. I'm going through something very similar. I've been married to the same man for 19 years and the last year and a half I've come to feel like I'm the least important thing on the planet to him. We have two children, and I've never worked more than just seasonal to temporary. I've been wife and mother and they have been my world, never regretted it when I think of my children, but when I think about every thing else. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. Not that that will help much I know , but still.

Answer 4

i have just read both your postings,
sorry that things are so bad, i worry that he has taken large amount of cash and the mobile phone pic message lark.
to be honest love i would think he may have soemone esle and is too spineless to tell you. i had an affair after a bereavement, as death makes you lookat life differently when it's someone close to you, i left the husband i was with and i now have a new husband, basically death changes how you look at things! hope you are okay, don't go to piecies, no matter what happens you will be happy again! please believe that !good luck and i hope im wrong!

Answer 5

i wish i knew what to tell you.. But i know if i was in your shoes i would be thinkin he was up to something.. If he will answer his brother an sisters calls an not yours then i understand the reason to worry.. I hope all works out for you an that your worried over nothing.. Maybe this is his way of coping with the loss of his parents, but you could also call the number that is on his phone bill an ask her how an why he has her number..

Answer 6

After reading your other post, it does sound like he has been planning to do this for a while... the money gone, etc. He may have lost the only 2 (his parents) in his life he didn't want thinking badly of him. Call a lawyer hun, even if he had a change of heart, you would never trust him again... in time you can salvage your life.

Answer 7

Believe it or not, this is a rather common attitude after a parents passing.

He lost his parents within 3 months, this is hard to take. Men are taught not to deal with their emotions and to hold them in "like men". This only causes terrible stress and they normally blow up. Our of frustation and anger, they start to sabotage their relationships and themselves.

When my husband dad passed away a few years back, he took off his wedding ring and started to act strange. He strated smoking, he treated me horrible and cheated. We ended up divorced after that. I later learn that this is rather common in men that lose a parent or both.

I suggest for you to wait an see. Quit txting him. He won't reply and as long as you keep on reaching out he will push you even further away. I know that this hurts, but youhave to let him be, he has lots of things to sort out.

My only advice to you is to get yoru finances together so there will be no more money missing.

Good luck

Answer 8

Text him and demand an explanation, it could be that he's hurting over his parents and doesn't want you to see how badly,he could be seeing someone else or he could be having some sort of breakdown. Either way it's not fair to leave you in this position and if it is the latter one he may need some help. Good luck

Answer 9

i so feel for you and hate that he is treating you like this. you seemed to be at his beacon call and now he leaves you hi and dry? I really think he is cheating you on with that girl you text ed. you need to start letting him go I don't think this a 2 way road anymore. He won't answer your calls or anything. Just don't hound him and he will begin to wonder where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. He'll call and you tell him how you feel and that he is sorry for having done what he has to you. Good luck.

Answer 10

Dear, it sounds like he's just stringing you along. You HAVE to let go. It' sounds like he's trying to do the same. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be, but for your own sanity, you have to. To be honest, it sounds like he's cheating on you. If he truly loved you, he would be with you. I know he's upset about his parents, but this is when he should be close to you, not pulling away. My mother died last year, and the ONLY person I wanted around was my husband. Somethings up dear, yo need to ask him, or walk away.