Would there be any drawbacks to parents who use unconditional positive regard consistently?

Answer 1

their kids would fall apart in the real world. everyone isn't so nice.

Answer 2

The kids grow up thinking that they never do anything that's not acceptable or not good enough. They never learn that there is such a thing as failure. They always expect a prize or award.

Just wait until they get out into the real world and adulthood - they won't be able to handle being told that it's not right or not good enough. Or the fact that you don't get a "good job" or reward always.

Answer 3

Kids need to learn to accept responsibility and to accept the consequences of their actions. They need to learn that certain things work and certain things don't. Certain things are OK, and other things aren't. Kids need positive feedback, but they also need constructive feedback. They need to know when they aren't doing what's expected of them. They need all this to grow into mature adults who are effective in the world.

Unconditional positive regard falls short in this regard. This extreme one-sided approach is supposed to bolster a child's self-esteem. But it goes overboard. Kids aren't stupid. When they aren't held accountable for unacceptable behavior or substandard behavior, they come to suspect ALL the so-called positive feedback they are getting, whether it's valid or not. In the end, this undermines their self-esteem.

Answer 4

One. That is if they also use it EXCLUSIVELY and excessively. A child may be regarded well, even when misbehaving. However, to project to the child that being regarded well supercedes proper behavior and regard for the needs of others can create a sociopathic personality. "You are important, but not the center of the universe," should be the message.