Okay my husband and I have been having some problems. He started using drugs about a month and a half ago. Spent all of our rent plus bill money on it. So I had to cancel my lease and move back in with my mother. While he went to a detox center. He was there for three days. Then he got out and stayed at his moms house for 2 days. Then him and his dad got into it and he started sleeping in his vehicle and that is where he stays now. It is hard to believe him that he is not doing drugs because he shot it up like 10 times a day and then only went to detox for 3 days and now he is living on the streets. How am I supposed to trust him? We have a one year old and I am 5 weeks pregnant. He says he is getting his life together and he just started a new job 2 days ago. Should I believe that he has changed or is he still the same old drug user as he used to be? What should I do with him?
2007-01-16 08:32:36 · 11 answers · asked by lilma85 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can trust hubby. You can trust that he's still using. As for getting back together, that's up to you. But, IF you decide to try, make drug testing, ANY time you want, a condition for being with you and the children. And then, for at least a few years, have him get tested OFTEN, without notice. He has given you cause to not believe him, so don't buy any excuses. He tests, or you divorce him. And then, do it.
2007-01-16 09:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been EXACTLY where you are right now, eccept I wasn't five
weeks pregnant but I did have a young son.
During our seperation he made loads of promises, but rarely
kept any of them. It eneded in devorce!!
All I can tell you is, a detox takes 'much' longer than three days!!
My husband was in detox for over two weeks, but still went back to drugs..
And if your husband is making all kinds of promises, then 'ONLY' time will tell if he will keep them.
Don't make the mistake of going back to him 'just by what he says', or the promises he makes. You 'MUST' give it time to
'SEE' the results or you are just going back to the same crap..
Please 'THINK' about 'your kids' and not this man right now.
Your children 'both' will need a much better enviroment than what they will have if you go back to him now.
Wait at least 'a year' and see how things go.
I'm being serious dear, it takes a least a year to see if someone is serious about quitting drugs, and the same amount of time for them to get over the 'pull' that drugs have on their lives.
You must remeber, there was a reason why he chose to do drugs in the first place, and it sure wasn't from being curious,
he's way past the age of curiosity. So there 'is' another reason why he used them...Ask him why he had to have drugs???
2007-01-16 17:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay were you are. This man left detox after 3 days and now he telling you he cure and don't need it. I been around drugs and let me tell you a person just don't stop just like that. Of course he wants you back in he probably has realize he messed up, and he needs his family back. And that's what he really whats deep inside what he wants. But drugs are a disease and he needs help. He needs to go back to detox or a re-hap center. He needs to finish what he started. There's so much to re-hap. I know I did 9months in one 12yrs ago. In believe when I tell you 3 days didn't do nothing.When you get into one of those places they allow you to sleep for the first 3days in kick the drug or longer sometimes.So your husband learned nothing. You need to tell him he needs to go to a re-hap in stop playing. If he finish he will come out like a new person. And the person (the user) he has to want it.Otherwise he will use again. If he spent all the rent money, bill money and you had to move back in with mom, your husband has a big problem. Drugs are no joke and they have to be deal with.Or your just going to go around and around with this man. And the sad think is your kids are too.
2007-01-16 17:00:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay with your Mom for a while longer. Make him make it on his own, hold down a job and prove that he isn't using. Tell him to attend N/A meetings everyday for 3 months, then only 3 times a weeks after that. Tell him to start paying child support to you and giving you a bit of money also for yourself. Force him into doing what is right. If he does all of this, then give him another chance. But I can tell you, being in detox after only 3 days and using over 10 times a day isn't going to get him far. He really needs intensive inpatient rehab, and a strong will, and staying away from the people who he associated with while using. I wish you the best.
2007-01-16 16:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with mom until he gets his life together. You have two little ones to worry about and have no bussiness baby-sitting a drug adict.
You are right, 3 days in detox is not long enough to get off of it.
Good luck
2007-01-16 16:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree 3 days isn't enough time to detox. Give him time and another chance, but at a distance. Give him the opportunity to prove to u that he is who he claims to B. Good Luck.
2007-01-16 16:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by crazy2733 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a grown man let him live his life. You on the other hand have to live yours for you and your kids. The only thing you should believe in is a life for your children, he's a man he'll survive because life hasn't finished teaching him a lesson yet. Don't stop your life because of that you have kids that you are setting an example for so don't fail them. You drive yourself to your own destination, no one completes you but you, don't be afraid, get rid of the destructive elements and be true to yourself.
2007-01-16 16:43:08 · answer #7 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need to seek counseling. I think he would need more than three days, but I have never been addicted to drugs. See if he will sign up for some out patient classes and you could join him, so you both have an understanding of what is and what will happen. More information=better decision making.
2007-01-16 16:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child should be your main & only priority! Come on seriously, do you really believe he's clean?
If this man is shooting drugs into his body god only knows what else is going on? Ever think of AIDS? You both need to get your heads examined! What about your unborn child that counts on you to protect it's life?
2007-01-16 16:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by Lee Ann M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him to go back to detox center.If he's living in his car he probably stole something out of his mom's house.
2007-01-16 16:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋