Why am I having suicidal thoughts?

Question

I've had the feeling that I'd be better off dead for the past 2 years. The feelings come back every other month or so. I always seem stressed out and cranky. Sometimes, I hate when I'm happy. It seems like people expect too much from me. I'm doing bad on tests, not wanting to do homework, I eat when I'm stressed and I just lay on the floor sometimes hoping time will stop and I can pull myself together. I could never physically kill myself but I just don't feel like living anymore. To me, killing myself would make people care for me. I'd be talked about, missed and loved. I believe my family loves me but they are always contradicting my attitude (I hate talking in social events). It really angers me that they do that and I don't want to change how I am so getting back at them and making them leave me alone, in my opinion, would be to commit suicide. I couldn't tell my parents how I feel, they wouldn't understand.

What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

My parents (caregivers) were very authoritative too. I recognize those feelings from my not too far away teen years. When parents set unrealistically high standards (in your mind, anyway) and refuse to reason. What they say goes, bottom line! Right? Not to put a stereotype on our black parents, but a great percentage of them are either too strict, as a means of control in an uncontrollable world and protection OR the parents are very lenient and are just as naive as the child. However I don't believe that you killing yourself is their desired affect by there authoritative attitude. I'm sure they love you and as many times as we all have heard this as teenagers its true. "When you grow up and have kids of your own, then you'll see just what we're talking about." They love you and they are human too they don't know all the right things to say or do, but i assume that if they love you they are doing the best they can. Do you have a place to live, food to eat, clothes, bed to sleep in? Did you get anything for Christmas, birthday, or Easter? If they didn't care they'd wouldn't provide you with anything. I hope you decide not to take your life. It sounds like if your grades could stand to drop than they must have been high enough to have a pretty amazing future. Stick around and see how many more wonderful things you have in store for life. The teenage years are hard for everyone, even the parent.

Answer 2

You're going through something normal in life. Judging from your question, I'd guess you're probably in High School. I don't know about you, but for me, that was probably one of the worst times. Being in High School is a time of self discovery, and you go through some very good and very bad times. Suicidal thoughts are completely normal, and everyone at one point thinks that being dead is better. However, when those thoughts control your daily function and that's all you think about, you might need some help. Posting this question shows you have doubt, and it shows you need some advice. I would find some professional help if I were you. If you aren't comfortable talking to your parents, talk to a teacher you like a lot, a counselor, or just another friend. You might be surprised how many people feel the same way. But please, don't kill yourself. I have lost friends to suicide, friends who felt unloved but were, very much loved. I have also had friends sent to centers because of suicide attempts. It is not the only way out. I hope you take my advice, there are other ways.

Good luck, things will get better in time, trust me.

Answer 3

I don't think there is anything wrong with you I feel the same as you do somedays. I believe that it is the pressure and stress that todays world puts on everyone demanding jobs, busy schedules. There seems to be less time for the individual anymore even on a day off from work we have so much to get done that we never really take time for our selves anymore. We all wish that our lives could be more exciting or fulfiled but I think that it is important to get back to more simplier times and spending less time trying to please the world and take care of ourselves. Hang in there like i said i feel your pain but keep your head up things will get better.

Answer 4

Hi, a nice person, who is far from understanding yourself. In general, wrong thing is how you treat yourself, but it's a long talk and you really need a help of a professional. Why not to talk to a psycologist? You'll enjoy talking to someone who can understand
you. Besides your wonderful family there are more people in the world who can adore you and share your views. I expect there are a lot of talents hidden in you and your tragedy is that you don't reveal them!

Answer 5

I don't think that there's anything wrong with you, really. I think you should go and talk to a counselor about all of this. I think your family is probably just trying to do what's best for you, not realizing that they are trying to control you at the same time. I think your thoughts of suicide are probably just you thinking it's easier to give up than be a teenager. So my suggestion would be to get a counselor and talk to your parents, and basically keep on truckin.

Answer 6

You sound depressed...maybe you don't want to talk to your parents but you should talk to someone. School counselor, minister, an aunt that you can trust. We all hit patches of insecurity in our lives...but they always pass, unless we become completely engrossed in our own demise, which isn't natural. You'll be okay...just talk to someone you trust and who cares about you. Or select someone that can be autonomous and keep your trust.

Answer 7

maybe ur ddepressed sbout something or u dondt get enought attention or u just think pple dont like u and they wqould be better with u dead. seriously idk