Can someone who smokes marijuana (due to back pain caused by car accident) can have a healthy relationship?

Question

My boyfriend has been smoking marijuana ever before he had the car accidents that cause his severe back pain. He claims that he also smokes due to his "bipolar" symptoms (short temper, depression, etc). I have analyzed his behavior and when he is off marijuana he seems to be more outgoing, confident, funny, and straight-headed. However he doesn't agree and cannot seem to let go of the marijuana. I on the other hand have made lifestyle changes. I have chosen to lead a healthier lifestyle and quit smoking. But when with him I cannot seem to fight the urge and comeback to the same old routine (smoke, eat, sex, sleep, etc). I ask him to respect the fact that I don't want to smoke, and he does temporarly but for the most part he doesn't. I also have a lot of communication issues with him and I truly believe that is due to the same reason - marijuana. Can this work??? And if so, how???

Answer 1

You deserve better! You will be miserable with this guy. What you are experiencing now is what it will always be like. We are better off lonely than spending time in a relationship that is unhealthy. Hang out with your family... your friends.... a better man will come a long, one that you can have a healthy relationship with. A man who will make you smile.

Answer 2

His bipolar is do to the fact he smokes. People who smoke weed have the same withdrawals and mood swings as any other drug there just not as severe.

The first thing you need to remember is you can't change anyone. He won't stop doing it until he wants to. you can threaten and talk all the crap you want to about it but it will always win. Sorry I know that's not what you wanted to hear but I'm going to keep it real. Obviously you are sick of the routine and decided something better for yourself. Stick to it. Don't let him drag you down. Stay strong when you are around him. he is basically choosing it over you. Be happy hes your boyfriend and not your husband. You have a choice if you stay he knows he can keep doing it. If you go you can have abetter life for yourself. Above all this is not a healthy relationship.

Answer 3

I know someone who severely bi-polar and has lost medical insurance numerous times. It was very difficult for this person to experience not only the ups and downs of bi-polar but also the ups and downs of on/off medication. My friend starting smoking marijuana to calm the racing thoughts at night so he could sleep, and maybe once throughout the day if the mood was too much too handle. This person still maintains work, and family (a loving wife & children). Maybe you should speak to your boyfriend about limiting his smoking to once or twice a day. Men have communication issues. They're born that way. Marijuana is a social drug, shouldn't he be talking more?

Answer 4

I had the spinal pain too. I smoked this one time, got a cold metallic sensation in my mouth, and thought nothing of it. I then started getting a ton of weird side effects from smoking, including the feeling of electricity running down my spine, how you describe it. Another way of describing it was it felt like thousands of tiny ball bearings were spiraling down between my spine and spinal cord. I since stopped smoking, and some of the symptoms still remain after 4 months. The metallic taste seems to correlate with low blood sugar for me and persists since I stopped smoking. Maybe that has something to do with it. The spinal pain never gets as bad now as it did when I smoked, but it's still there occasionally. I think it may have to do with bad posture. I'm going to try some cannabis from a dispensary from a few days and see if I get the same effects as I did 4 months ago before I quit smoking.

Answer 5

is he prescribed the marijuana? have you tried telling him that you like him better when he isn't smoking? You should explain to him how much better you feel now that you have quit and ask him to at least try out your way for a month and then go from there. I'm sure once he's off of it for a month, it will be easier for him to stop thereafter. Try to plan some fun things to do in the mean time to keep him busy..and if he is buying it, let him know how much money he'll be saving and that you guys can go spend that money together..on something productive and fun for both of you!! Good luck..I'm sure if you two are meant to be, he'll quit for you.

Answer 6

You should stick to your guns if you do not want to smoke. If he will not, then there is not much you can do, but he does need to stop making excuses for smoking the stuff. My daughter is Bi-Polar also and she sure does not need a mind altering substance in her system, and thats what Marijuana does. As far as the Communication thing goes, alot of people are not good at Communicating, but you will find that the healthiest and Long lasting relationships have alot of Communication going on from Both people.. Good Luck

Answer 7

Many people become emotionally unavailable to their partner when they smoke pot. They 'check out' of reality. It's a crutch, just like alcohol or other drugs that they use to not have to deal with their own emotions. You have a choice. You can live with it or you can ask him to stop. If you can't live with it and he won't stop, then you have to give him an ultimatum..either the pot goes or I go. It's up to you. He can go to 'marijuana anonymous' on the internet and read about it. If you can get him to do that he will see what he is doing to his life and to you. He may have unresolved issues from his childhood, and relationships with other family members. People bury bad memories in the subconscious mind when they don't want to forgive, get over anger, or deal with hurt. Those issues always affect our relationships with other people later on in life when they are not dealt with!

Answer 8

The problem is your boyfriend who is in self denial and refuses to face reality and get help for his problems.

He may smoke for backpain, but my thinking is that marijuana is the excuse for whatever vehicle he chooses to drive at the moment.

Also, no one just has "bipolar" symptoms you either have a problem or don't. Also it's common sense and general rule of thumb if you have a mental illness you should avoid any type of alcohol or drugs as they alter your mental state and capacity.

Another thing to clue in on is that most people who are diagnosed with a biploar disorder usually have a dual diagnosis of mental illness and a chemical dependency. Dual diagnosis is one of the most troubling as even medical professionals can't always decide if a person's mental illness caused them to abuse or if the abuse brought on the mental illness.

I would try to get him to seek help from a professional first and have a mental health screening. If he still refuses to change and continues to live the way he does then he is going to drag you down with him. If this is where it ends at, then my advice to you is to kick him to the curb and you're better off finding someone with the same values as you.

Just always remember you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

Answer 9

It's going to be really difficult to communicate with him if he continues to smoke marijuana. If he's using it to treat bi-polar disorder, that is just going to make his symptoms worse over time. Marijuana rewires the brain, which explains why he is a totally different person when he's high. Have you explained that you aren't comfortable with his behavior after he smokes? If it comes down to it, give him the ultimatum: marijuana or you. That's what I had to do with my fiance and he quit. Also, if you keep smoking, it's just going to make him wonder why he should quit. Good luck.

Answer 10

I know someone who's boyfriend, then husband, smoked constantly for all kinds of similar reasons. He wouldn't/ couldn't stop either. She'd smoke with him, then too, decided to quit. They had a very beautiful baby boy. About 2 1/2 years ago the husband died from cancer. Something to think about...